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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to take my degree certificate to the bank?

310 replies

DrTrillianAstra · 19/07/2009 19:27

And make them change all my details to Dr Trillian?

(not Dr Trillian of course, actually Dr Realname, but you know what I mean )

Or is it too unbelievably poncey?

OP posts:
lazylion · 24/07/2009 11:53

YANBU change it on everything official, not just bank details. I may be imagining it but I think I get treated differently since I changed mine. I don't care if I am poncy if it makes my life easier.
It's also nice not to have to choose between Miss / Mrs / Ms.

spiderlight · 24/07/2009 23:23

Do it - well done! I was straight round to the bank the day after my viva.

BoffinMum · 25/07/2009 08:29

For once I agree with you, SM. We should applaud people who bother to graft and do something worthwhile, rather than those who flounce around on Big Brother for a bit and pretend to snog each other under duvets etc etc.

For the record btw, I do have lovely big norks, and I possess a super t-shirt that says in big letters "All this ..." and in tiny letters underneath so that someone has to stare at your norks to read what it says "... and brains". I am not brave enough to wear it much, though.

Poledra · 25/07/2009 11:04

Clemette, f*cking 'ell, you are better than me, that's for sure. Anyone who can do a PhD while having children has my total repeck

I know someone who handed in her Masters thesis at 12 noon, and went into labour 2 hours later - she always was that efficient .

Poledra · 25/07/2009 11:05

respeck. See, I can't even spell my slang properly when the chldren are bothering me, never mind write my thesis!

TrillianslebAstra · 25/07/2009 14:08

Wow, that is efficient!

undercoverGP · 25/07/2009 14:30

Coming late to this..
(am In Disguise)

I am a (proper medical) Dr. I was once out with 4 of my female friends (all drs) and my DH (not).
We paid for our meal with four bank cards - only one of which said "Dr" on it (rest of us never changed it). The waitress immediately assumed that this would be DH's card!

Also re the passport thing. I am Dr (maiden name) and never known by DH surname. However the kids have his name so I thought it would be useful to have in my passport "Dr (maiden name), also known as Mrs (married name)" - so I have proof that I am both IYSWIM.

So I wrote that in the bit on the application form.

I got a call from the passport office a few days later saying "can we just check are you a medical doctor?" - so I confirmed I was.

My passport now states
(maiden name) - also known as Dr (maiden name) - Doctor of Medicine.

I am NOT an MD and I think it makes me look like an unbelievable ponce who has demanded that this be put on her passport! I still have no proof that I am Mrs (married name) and I now live in fear that I will be called on to Save The Plane.

franch · 25/07/2009 14:36

YANBU

A big motivating factor for me finishing my PhD was never having to be Miss, Mrs or Ms ever again

TrillianslebAstra · 25/07/2009 14:39

undercoverGP - are youalso worried that you will be called on to Diagnose The Poster, is that why you are in disguise?

That is a crazy weird thing to have on your passport, hope it at least gets you upgraded!

undercoverGP · 25/07/2009 14:49

Mainly in disguise because in my normal name I have disclosed the town I live in, how many kids I have and their ages.

I think there are about 4 female GPs in the whole town and the others don't have kids!

I have said Too Much (taps nose)

MollieO · 26/07/2009 22:53

I think that Dr is worthy of adding to your name. What makes me laugh is basic qualifications added after someone's signature. I see this a lot on emails sent to me at work and I feel like adding 'Cycle proficiency badge and bronze lifesaving award' after my name in reply.

BikeRunSki · 27/07/2009 12:15

I changed to Dr BikeRunSki as soon as I got mine! All bank cards, driving licence, passport (needed renewing anyway), utility bills everything. Kept name when I got married. Ten years later, when I was pg with DS, I changed to Mrs MarriedName, but am Dr BikeRunSki at work, with business cards and a credit card still in that name. Don't think I woudl have changed to married name if I couldn't have legitimatley been Dr BikeRunSki too. But do now only use it for work/academic purposes.

Have only once been asked by cabin crew if I could have a look at a passenger who was feeling poorly... I declined, but told them if they ever had any problems with flooding...

TrillianuptheAstra · 27/07/2009 12:31

DP is a PhD too (although not done graduation yet) so if we get married we could be Dr&Dr Marriedname

Habbibu · 27/07/2009 14:04

Trillian beware - we were Dr A and Dr B before we got married, and suddenly after marriage started getting letters to Dr and Mrs (hisfirstname) B. That was bloody annoying. From the same people who'd previously addressed me as Dr A. Maybe they thought Mrs was more of a coup, or that I should give up these silly ideas of mine on marriage...

TrillianuptheAstra · 27/07/2009 14:23

He has a good surname that will go wonderfully with Dr - I want it!

I think in general women are supposed to be all giddy about being Mrs - maybe they just didn't want you to miss out on that.

BuwchBywiog · 27/07/2009 14:40

I should be working! Enjoyed this thread though ... go change it! You deserve to

RustyBear · 27/07/2009 15:11

I don't remember DH ever getting any tangible benefits from using Dr.

I, however, got 15% off our house insurance for years because of my ALA (Associate of the Library Association)

Habbibu · 27/07/2009 15:16

Oh, I have DH's surname - mine was ubiquitous, and his was nicer, hence the change. I didn't adopt his first name or give back my PhD, contrary to what many people seemed to think...

Essie3 · 28/07/2009 22:03

Oh, do it, I did! I was sorely tempted by the Air Vice Marshall option though - and no proof was needed.
(Skipped some pages here because tired...)
Like others said - it avoids the whole Mrs/Ms business. I am married but didn't change my name, so Mrs Realsurname is wrong, doesn't exist; Mrs DHSurname also doesn't exist. (Actually they're my Mum and his Mum!) I look too old basically to be Miss Realsurname. Dr avoids all the hassle and I think it goes well(ish) with my feminist attitude.
Often people assume you'll be a man before they've met you. This can be Good and Useful.
It gives you a bit more clout when dealing with salespeople over the phone (like mobile phone sellers etc).

The downside...I was asked to look at a woman's rash in Tesco (she was working on the till and saw my card). I'm a medieval historian. Didn't look like the beginnings of the Black Death but I couldn't be sure.

Essie3 · 28/07/2009 22:11

Habbibu seems I also gave up my D.Phil on marriage. What's so difficult about Mr and Dr, in that order?
I've heard some women learn to read and write these days. They'll be wanting to work next, and then who will do the washing up?

Poledra · 28/07/2009 22:58

Heh heh, DH (then DP) was really pissed off when our credit cards arrived as Dr and Mr Poledra .

Well, he hadn't stayed anywhere long enough to have a credit rating, and he didn't tell me he wanted to be Dr on his card too [wounded innocence emoticon].

'Twas a mistake, honest (they didn't actually ask me what was to be on his card, just assumed Mr).

mumof4bratz · 28/07/2009 23:10

Oh do it do it!!!!!!!!!!!

Habbibu · 29/07/2009 11:44

Ooh, Essie - I've got lots of good pictures of various agues and maladies from the 15th century. perhaps I'll start carrying them round with me for some on the spot diagnosis.

Essie3 · 30/07/2009 12:43

LOL Habbibu, only if they've been badly drawn in a manuscript using a quill pen... You're close to my dream there - 'if only there were someone who is expert on ...what...there is? Step forward Essie!'

jumpjockey · 30/07/2009 17:09

Habbibu - we're the same, Dr A (he's medical) and Dr B (I'm a medievalist too Essie ) now become Dr and Mrs A. I suppose it's true in that in the old stylee I am Mrs Bob A, so Dr and Dr Bob A would sound as if he had a split personality. Have told everyone in no uncertain terms to call us Dr and Dr or risk never being spoken to again.

MIL was of course the worst for this until DH not so subtly told her every time she addressed something to Dr and Mrs A I threatened to bin it