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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to take my degree certificate to the bank?

310 replies

DrTrillianAstra · 19/07/2009 19:27

And make them change all my details to Dr Trillian?

(not Dr Trillian of course, actually Dr Realname, but you know what I mean )

Or is it too unbelievably poncey?

OP posts:
frasersmummy · 23/07/2009 14:22

If I had worked hard enough to get a phdI would want doctor on my bank acct..

Ask yourself if you want to be bothered with people who thought you were poncey

oh and congrats!!

TheFallenMadonna · 23/07/2009 14:23

The kids rather like it actually.

I have one colleague who insists on referring to me as Dr Madonna, and so it has all come out...

They do get confused between medic and PhD (especially as I'm a biology teacher), and only really understand it with reference to Ross from Friends, and then I have to explain that no, I don't know lots about dinosaurs...

I don't keep it a secret, and I refer to my time in research a fair bit. That is relevant to them.

But not to the bank.

thedolly · 23/07/2009 14:24

Who walks around advertising their educational achievements - it's like wearing your Cambridge Uni sweatshirt when you're 40.

Can't see how being a Dr working in Uni admin would be useful.

All Phds are not equal.

Habbibu · 23/07/2009 14:28

thedolly - academics tend to be a bit suspicious of university administrators, and think that they don't understand academic work. They therefore tend to quite like those of us who have done PhDs and postdocs, as we can have a bit more of an insight into what their work entails. It's not universally true, but it has been my experience.

thedolly · 23/07/2009 14:40

I do think it is rather crass to get your PhD out at every opportunity - it's a bit like keeping the little people in their place.

PracticalCat · 23/07/2009 14:44

You're probably right, Madonna, it is about me feeling better. But more because of social function than intellectual superiority.

It's hard to explain, but I think it's to do with a kind of tension I feel between working/not working. Doctor is me, but part of that other world. And it's something just for me, which is separate from the me that gets pinched and crawled over by a 14 month old. Neither better nor worse, just different, and missed.

Habbibu · 23/07/2009 14:45

Well, in that case, is it rather crass to drive a nice car, wear a nice watch or shoes, etc? We could all be accused of oneupmanship in some form or other, I suspect, and as I've said, I don't expect to be treated better than anyone else, but I like not having to be Mrs/Miss/Ms.

TheFallenMadonna · 23/07/2009 14:49

I do understand it Practical Cat. I suppose it just isn't part of my identity, and therefore doesn't serve the same purpose for me. And therefore it's easy for me to be sniffy about it

Now that's the second time in two days I've banged on about identity...

PracticalCat · 23/07/2009 14:53

Identity? Must be in the Humanities then...

Habbibu · 23/07/2009 14:56

That's interesting - DH is an academic, I work in HE, and so it's still very much part of my world and identity - so many of our friends are Dr that it doesn't seem odd, just pretty ordinary. I guess in a different context it would look more strange.

But intention is important. I would never use my title to try to intimidate anyone (can't imagine why it would, tbh - surely they just mostly think you're a bit geeky?), and don't insist on it, not "correct" anyone - it's just what I use if asked. And at work.

bleh · 23/07/2009 14:58

Pah! Go for it DrTrillian. I would. It's a very British thing to not show off your achievements, but screw it. You've worked hard, you deserve to be recognised for it. I'm not allowed to have all my letters on business cards etc., which does irk me. Why else did I spend seven bloody years studying?! (apart from the obvious). I want recognition damn it, and if people are upset because they don't have the same, then get over it or get a degree.

VulpusinaWilfsuit · 23/07/2009 15:02

Oooh, missed this thread. Have only read OP and last few posts but will be back later to pile in

Congratulations Dr Trillian!

First answer: do it, you need to as a reward for all the hard work. Changing my bank card and the thought of showing off in a red gown was the only thing that got me through writing up...

But really, the need wears off after a bit and it only becomes more appropriate at work and to avoid marital status/gender things. It would be odd in a university to have one and not have it used as your main title on paper, door signs etc..

I have to admit to occasionally using it when someone is patronising me and pissing me off. I often try hard NOT to use it in certain circs, cringe when people address me or introduce me in social settings with it (for feck's sake, just call me Wilf) or when students feel they have to use it.

VulpusinaWilfsuit · 23/07/2009 15:04

Upgrades? Hotel rooms? I can't think of something less likely to make this happen than a PhD.

thedolly · 23/07/2009 15:08

Not geeky, but arsey and crass. Good that you don't expect to be treated better than anyone else though.

It is correcting someone to say "Dr" when it wasn't an option.

Habbibu · 23/07/2009 15:16

But I just don't think of myself as Mrs/Ms/Miss, thedolly - I don't like any of them.

Look, I'm really not trying to pick a fight with you. I have no delusions of being better than anyone else by virtue of my degree, nor anything else in my life, really. I just like the title, and I try to wear it reasonably lightly, but I like to wear it. A bit like the car/shoes/watch analogy before - you can like to have nice things, and to wear them - you could always face the accusation of showing off your wealth, but have no intention of trying to make anyone else feel uncomfortable. But I suspect you and I will always just disagree on this particular issue, and it's maybe not worth too much of either of our time.

clemette · 23/07/2009 15:30

thedolly I use my title because it is my title. If people ask if it is Miss or Mrs I say Dr because that is what it is. If they said are you called Sue or Sarah and i told them my actual name would I also be an arse? Or perhaps I would just be stating the facts. And if it stops call centre operatives calling me "madam" and "my dear" (which it does) then all the better.

Agree with TFM about the impact it has had at school. We live in a university suburb so some of our parents are Dr/Professor but I have had at least five conversations with 16 year olds this year, who didn't realise that PhDs exist and are now determined that they are going to get one too.

thedolly · 23/07/2009 15:45

I'm not trying to pick a fight with you either Habbibu.

I just don't get how it is OK to flaunt ones educational prowess in a society with such disparate educational opportunities.

I think you should change your name to DrHabbibu if you like it that much - go on, I dare you.

Threadworm2 · 23/07/2009 15:49

Why is it flaunting? Any more than having to call yourself Miss or Mrs is flaunting marital status, or having to call yourself Ms or Mr is flaunting gender?

In lots of contexts (most) no title is called for. So you give none. But in all the tedious bureaucratic contexts where one is (usually pointlessly) required, why not give theone you feel happiest with and flaunt your hard work instead of your marriage or gender?

stickylittlefingers · 23/07/2009 15:54

I'd much rather be called Dr than Mrs. It's worth having a PhD just for that. Absolutely hate Mrs. So YANBU. It's nice to have a gender free title, I think. And given most people don't care about doctorates, ime, I don't think it's flaunting either

Habbibu · 23/07/2009 15:57

No, I won't. I'm leaving this thread now, as I think I've tried to explain myself politely, and don't see any point in continuing.

Threadworm2 · 23/07/2009 15:58

Yes -- that's true too. As far as most people are concerned it isn't much to flaunt. Its just proof that you have spend 3 years deskilling yourself and gaining an improbably vast amount of knowledge in an improbably small specialist area. It isn't a question of expecting respect from others.

Threadworm2 · 23/07/2009 15:58

x-post habb.

thedolly · 23/07/2009 16:19

It is flaunting because it is absolutely not necessary to use the title unless it is relevant.

I don't get the gender free bit either or the objection to Mrs/Ms/Miss.

What I am not sure of is that in a PC crazy world (and especially on MN) how anyone can fail to see that it just might be offensive to point out to Tom Dick or Harry (and their wives Mrs Tom Mrs Dick and Mrs Harry) that you are better educated than them.

clemette · 23/07/2009 16:26

Out of interest do you feel the same way about medical doctors? If they us it outside the hospital/surgery are they flaunting it?

I genuinely don't understand your problem with it so will also take my leave.

bleh · 23/07/2009 16:27

At the end of the day, life is unfair. There are inequalities. Not everyone has a PhD, not everyone wants one, not everyone has the ability to get one.

But, if you worked INCREDIBLY hard to get somewhere, why not celebrate that achievement? The whole British hatred of celebrating achievement really makes it ill, like that boy who won Olympic medals being bullied at school. People are less likely to strive to improve themselves or their circumstances if they know they're going to be mocked/bullied/harassed because of it, and that is, IMO, wrong.

"I just don't get how it is OK to flaunt ones educational prowess in a society with such disparate educational opportunities" Thing is, if you compare the UK to other countries, there are plenty of educational opportunities, it's just that being educated does not get the respect it deserves; there is a very strong anti-intellectual backlash. This is part of the reason why teenage girls want to go out and become porn stars/reality TV stars/pop singers rather than doctors and obtaining PhDs and this is only impounded by people being made to feel guilty about having achieved something educationally because others might be offended. Screw that.

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