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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD got 5Bs in her SATS results and wants to celebrate, I don't

111 replies

DollopofClottedCream · 02/07/2009 11:54

I don't want to make a fuss of govt introduced soon to be disbanded/contentious/not worth the paper it's written on/policies

Nor do I want to make a fuss because I have other dc who may not do well in exams.

But then again she thinks she worked hard and so should be rewarded.

Help please.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 02/07/2009 11:55

Good god! Celebrate of course. I doesn't matter what it is, she was set a task and she excelled at it. Good for her

Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa · 02/07/2009 11:58

Oh don't be a meanie, celebrate. DD1 got 5's in her SATS and I was delighted. She's getting a present as a reward. There was so much pressure put on them that I think she deserves a reward.

Go on......

sweetnitanitro · 02/07/2009 11:59

If she thinks she worked hard and is pleased with the result she's got then why not? I doubt she's bothered by the politics, she worked hard and achieved something.

OrmIrian · 02/07/2009 12:00

I celebrate and reward my DC all the time. Even when their results are mediocre. I call it 'recognising the effort they have put in'. Actually it's just an excuse to be happy about them and show them that I am.

ChopsTheDuck · 02/07/2009 12:00

Just call it a reward for the effort and hard work rather than for the result.

Maveta · 02/07/2009 12:01

Well how does she want to celebrate? By getting a big pressie or a meal or a foreign holiday?

I think it is perfectly reasonable to celebrate her achievement. If your other kids don't do well when its their turn you can celebrate the fact that their exams have finished, or whatever.

ineedalifelaundry · 02/07/2009 12:02

Your DD is right - hard work should be rewarded, no matter what the result. I'm sure your other DC will be similarly rewarded for their efforts no matter what the result.

You might not believe SATs are important (and I agree with you - and I'm a teacher!) but it was clearly very important to her.

If you don't reward her, she might wonder why she should bother working hard in the future, when the exams really DO matter...

Sonnet · 02/07/2009 12:05

In our family we don't celebrate success- we celebrate "effort" therefore the DC do get treated after exams ( but before the results IYSWIM?). Also it is fairer if your DC have differing ablities

SoupDragon · 02/07/2009 12:07

Is 5Bs good then?

Frasersmum123 · 02/07/2009 12:08

Of course you should celebrate. She has worked hard and should be rewarded.

Dont be a meanie and instead let your DD know how proud you are of her.

stealthsquiggle · 02/07/2009 12:08

Celebrate - if your other DC are not likely to do well in exams, then celebrate their effort, or other achievements.

The fact that it is a waste of time etc is not your DD's problem - she did was she was asked to do and did it well - celebration is absolutely called for.

OrmIrian · 02/07/2009 12:08

Yes soupy. V good. The target is 4b. 4a and anything in the 5s is above target.

We celebrate effort and acheivement in this family.

katiestar · 02/07/2009 12:09

Well done.I didn't realise SATS results are in .I don't think we get then until the children get their reports next week

jambutty · 02/07/2009 12:10

Yes celebrate! As for not doing it because of your other children, presumably you'll celebrate when they achieve in different things so where does that leave your dd?

Original poster
DollopofClottedCream · 02/07/2009 12:10

She has set her heart on going out for an Indian and we can ill afford (there are 7 of us!)it but she just looks hurt if I suggest having an Indian meal to eat at home.

But I also notice pubescent behavioural changes which is new for me

OP posts:
jambutty · 02/07/2009 12:11

Could you take her on your own?

jambutty · 02/07/2009 12:11

Could you take her on your own?

jambutty · 02/07/2009 12:12

Just once, obviously

AliGrylls · 02/07/2009 12:13

If she really did her best she definitely deserves a treat. Not everyone is brilliant academically so if you only reward achievemwnt it will be unfair on your other dc.

ChopsTheDuck · 02/07/2009 12:14

would she enjoy spending time with you cooking an indian feast to have at home?

Original poster
DollopofClottedCream · 02/07/2009 12:14

Haven't got a babysitter or close family!

OP posts:
Bramshott · 02/07/2009 12:18

I think you need to explain to her in that case, and give her a choice. Say you're really pleased that she's done so well, and that you'd love to celebrate, but that you cant' afford for everyone to go out. Do either she and 1 parent can go out for an indian, or you can all have a celebratory meal at home.

titchy · 02/07/2009 12:18

Have you not a cheap all you can eat for a fiver at lunchtime type place nearby?

Bramshott · 02/07/2009 12:19

So, not Do obviously!

jambutty · 02/07/2009 12:20

DH/DP? Sorry if that sounds nosey - just trying to work out how less of you could go, and give dd what she wants...otherwise takeaway and make it a big event with lots of bits/pretend it's a restaurant, do a menu and nice tablecloth, take her order like a waiter, that sort of thing?