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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have called the police on DP

123 replies

motherlovebone · 21/06/2009 22:51

earlier this evening my daughter kicked DP, he smacked her bottom...he knows i deal with the discipline here (she has a different father) i didnt see the incident, she came crying to me, shocked obviously and Lord knows what else...i told him to fuck off, he stayed put and i called the police. he went before they arrived.
he didnt appologise.
AIBU?

OP posts:
whereeverIlaymyhat · 21/06/2009 22:52

Blimey I wouldn't expect to see him again.
Why is your daughter allowed to kick him ?

moondog · 21/06/2009 22:53

Yes.
Do you not think thery have better things to do with their time than deal with petty domestics?
Grow up the lot of you in the name of God.

kitkatqueen · 21/06/2009 22:53

How old is your daughter?

mrsruffallo · 21/06/2009 22:54

I don't agree with smacking children,but he should be able to have some input in disciplining her esp if she kicks him

mrsruffallo · 21/06/2009 22:55

I think calling the police was rather dramatic too

GypsyMoth · 21/06/2009 22:55

There's alot of this stuff around tonight!!

MrsJamesMartin · 21/06/2009 22:55

YABU a ridiculous waste of police time. Why is she allowed to kick him?

Original poster
motherlovebone · 21/06/2009 22:56

she is certainly not allowed to kick him, but the option of me dealing with it was taken away by his smacking her.
not seeing him is not an option, we have a son together.

OP posts:
Thunderduck · 21/06/2009 22:57

YABU.It was a waste of police time.

nametaken · 21/06/2009 22:57

No YANBU - of course you should have phoned the police and so would I.

Does your dd usually kick people?

whereeverIlaymyhat · 21/06/2009 22:59

Hmm well giving you the benefit of the doubt, you cannot both parent a child if one of you is the disciplinarian and the other has be kicked and wait for you to come along and resolve it.
I have a similar situation to you in that my husband isn't my eldest's father but as I want him to treat her like our other children ie, feed, clothe, put a roof over her head and love her then I have to accept he'll do a bit of disciplining along the way too and he'd be entitled to smack her bum if my DD kicked him, tbh I'd have tanned her arse if she'd done that to me.

mrsruffallo · 21/06/2009 22:59

If you have a son together and (I assume) live together as a family, why isn't he allowed to discipline her?
(I am not talking about the smacking incident)

Rollergirl1 · 21/06/2009 23:00

Why isn't he allowed to discipline her if (i'm assuming here seeing as you have a child together) you are living together as a family?

Can you not see how calling the police because he smacked her after your DD kicked him is a wild over-reaction on your part? I feel sorry for your partner tbh.

kitkatqueen · 21/06/2009 23:01

Sorry, but to clarify - did he smack her once on the bum through her clothes after she kicked him?

Or

Did her bare her bum and give her 30 lashes??

If its the former rather than the latter yabu and I think you need to apologise to him and the police for wasting their time.

If you have a child together as well then you really can't expect him to not have any input in her discipline. If she knows that he is not allowed to dicipline her then she is going to antagonise him to get a reaction (which she did. The Result? he's gone she's getting all your attention.

I think she won that round...

mrsboogie · 21/06/2009 23:01

Jesus this has got to be trollery. Why did you not have a stern word with him? And if this true what the heck did the police say?

LastOrders · 21/06/2009 23:02

If you want a life with your partner then you need to let him into the other side of your life - your DD.

You can't draw a line between the two and expect him to be involved in and have a say in the relationship between him and his DS but not him and your DD.

It's all or nothing I think.

I don't agree with smacking, and I understand it's your DD, but how can he be expected to break an arguement to call you to take over the discipline, IYSWIM.

Calling the police was rediculous. Lets hope there wasn't someone out there that needed that help more.

GypsyMoth · 21/06/2009 23:03

Op called police because he wouldn't leave. Is it your own property op?

Original poster
motherlovebone · 21/06/2009 23:03

DD does not normally kick people.
out of character for them both.
i phoned the police without thinking about if they had time for me or not.

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 21/06/2009 23:04

I kind of hope you are a troll. The alternative is worse.

ingles2 · 21/06/2009 23:04

so did he beat her MLB? leave a mark? smack her through her clothes? which is it?

moondog · 21/06/2009 23:05

Well, think a bit more next time.

Calls like this eat up huge chunks of expensive police time.

Rollergirl1 · 21/06/2009 23:05

As mrsboogie says, i'd be interested to hear what the police had to say about it.

mrsruffallo · 21/06/2009 23:05

Were you angry that he hit her or that he tried to discipline her at all?

ingles2 · 21/06/2009 23:05

an how old is she?

kitkatqueen · 21/06/2009 23:06

No She's not a troll... Thread checked....

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