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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have called the police on DP

123 replies

motherlovebone · 21/06/2009 22:51

earlier this evening my daughter kicked DP, he smacked her bottom...he knows i deal with the discipline here (she has a different father) i didnt see the incident, she came crying to me, shocked obviously and Lord knows what else...i told him to fuck off, he stayed put and i called the police. he went before they arrived.
he didnt appologise.
AIBU?

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 21/06/2009 23:06

Noone can be so sad as to troll like this surely?
What would be the point?

Original poster
motherlovebone · 21/06/2009 23:06

thats right tiffany

OP posts:
pickyvic · 21/06/2009 23:06

well you will now be on the DV register if they have taken it seriously theyll have had a very long form to fill in. if as someone else said he really laid into your DD then yes he was totally out of order. if he smacked her once for kicking him then you were out of order. which is it?

whereeverIlaymyhat · 21/06/2009 23:07

The thing is now the police are involved surely they will have to investigate and if there is a mark on the girl, he will be prosecuted and then he will not be allowed to live with your son, so maybe you should have thought it through.
Unless he has half battered the child in which case you were absolutely right.

mrsruffallo · 21/06/2009 23:07

Any answers OP?

moondog · 21/06/2009 23:07

The way the police will have to deal with this and thousands of other petty incidents are detailed in the fascinationg book Wasting Police Time written by an anonymous PC.
Well worth a read.

kitkatqueen · 21/06/2009 23:09

Guess not...

GypsyMoth · 21/06/2009 23:09

Oh for gods sake, calling 'troll' isn't helpful is it?

kitkatqueen · 21/06/2009 23:10

No, she's not a troll

Alambil · 21/06/2009 23:11

So he gets kicked and has to say "Please, motherlovebone, your dd just kicked me - can you please tell her off" which makes him sound like a 5 yr old tattle-tale in the playground

FFS if he's her step-dad then he deserves the same level of parenting that he gets with his bio-child IMPO

And yes, you've wasted police time... well done

A smack is not that big a deal - shocking at the time if that isn't the normal method of discipline but really, police? I think not (unless he went totally OTT and battered her to a pulp)

moondog · 21/06/2009 23:11

From the book's blurb:

'PC Copperfield reveals how millions and millions of pounds in taxpayers' money is wasted and frittered away while the thin blue line is crushed under the burden of mad, politically correct bureaucracy, as crime statistics are fiddled shamelessly (he explains how) and crime spirals ever upwards (he shows why). It's the first time a British policeman has addressed these issues in a book'

SomeGuy · 21/06/2009 23:13

Yes quite a good book. I recommend 'It's your time you're wasting' in the same vein re education

www.amazon.co.uk/Its-Your-Time-Youre-Wasting/dp/0955285402

ingles2 · 21/06/2009 23:15

she said it all in the OP really, despite the fact he lives there and is father to MLB's other child, he doesn't have the same parental rights.
No wonder your dd thinks she can kick him!
I'm totally against smacking but to call the police is madness (unless he beat her, but as you won't answer that.......

GypsyMoth · 21/06/2009 23:16

Op you said 'that's right' to my earlier post. So it's your property, you asked him to leave, he refused, so you called police? Is that correct?

Or did you call police because he smacked you child?

moondog · 21/06/2009 23:16

Ooh, I've had my eye on that for a while Some.
There's also another police book by Inspecotr Gadget.

I read huge chunks of both to long suffering dh, merely ssubstituting 'police' for NHS and it described it all perfectly.

Original poster
motherlovebone · 21/06/2009 23:19

DD is 6 next week.
he smacked her through her clothes.
left a small red mark.
not angry that he tried to discipline, angry that he hit her!
her father doesnt smack her.
i have smacked her before but its not how i like to deal with things.
appriciate the wasting police time but like i said, i didnt think it through.
still not certain if i have been unreasonable.
i think she may well be testing the boundaries/attention seeking, though dont think she deserved a smack.

OP posts:
ginormoboobs · 21/06/2009 23:20

YABU
He should not have smacked her. Hitting a child because they kick you is ridiculous! To teach her not to hit , he hits her. I can't really see how it can help.
Calling the police is OTT if it was a smack on the bottom.
If he smacked her more than once or left a mark and you were frightened of him then maybe YANBU.
She was wrong to kick him and he should be allowed to disipline her if she is naughty. Smacking is not a form of disipline in your home so he should not have hit her.

pickyvic · 21/06/2009 23:21

i have to tell you that calls like this really arent that unusual. some of the stuff people dial 999 for a are a joke, usually comms prioritise these calls, and not all DV incidents go on to be prosecuted, but in our force every DV incident has to be logged and 'positive action' taken, so the fact that OP called police means they will have had to fill out a DV form and possibly notify other agencies if deemed appropriate. if it was a nonsense it probably wont go any further.

sunnydelight · 21/06/2009 23:21

Of course YABU. If you want to teach your child about her rights try also teaching her about her responsibilities. Meanwhile the father of your son could end up not being allowed to live in the family home, nice one.

Original poster
motherlovebone · 21/06/2009 23:22

both Tiffany he smacked, i ordered him out, he refused to go 'no, you fuck off' so i called police.

OP posts:
pickyvic · 21/06/2009 23:22

just seen OP answered and id say it was a waste of police time. YABU. im gonna say no more.

whereeverIlaymyhat · 21/06/2009 23:23

not angry that he tried to discipline, angry that he hit her!
her father doesnt smack her.
i have smacked her before but its not how i like to deal with things.

So it's ok for you to hit her but not for him to react as most people would ?
I don't smack my children but then they don't kick out, if they did I might react as your DP did.
I guess the question is would you have called the police if he'd smacked your son ?

ingles2 · 21/06/2009 23:23

so you've smacked her before, but if he does then he has to leave and you've called the police!
YABU

Quattrocento · 21/06/2009 23:24

Okay a chorus of YABUs and one YANBU but you're not certain if you were being unreasonable?

hmc · 21/06/2009 23:24

if this is a case of trip trap - yawn!

If you are for real - frankly you are certifiable