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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fecked off with the supermarket checkout woman

150 replies

Remotew · 17/06/2009 21:36

We were in a well known supermarket. I bought the weekly shop and DD (15) was trying to buy 2 DVD's on her own cash card one was a cert 15. DD was 15 a month ago so was excited to be buying a 15 DVD with her own cash card but the check out woman asked her for ID!!!

At 15 she hasn't thought about getting ID. I was packing my shopping, £40 worth I should add, and minding my own business then saw DD produce a European Health Ins card with her name and dob on it but this flipping woman (she was an aussie juding by her accent) said she needed photo ID. I then intervened and said I was her mum she is 15 and this is ridiculous. I will pay for the DVD and she tried to tell me she was breaking the law by selling it to me.

She did let me buy it on my card, if not I would have kicked up a stink and she knew it. AIBU to be fecked off. The shape of things to come!! This should be stopped now.

OP posts:

janeite · 17/06/2009 21:38

Does the fact that she was Australian have anything at all to do with anything?

YABU tbh.

Original poster

Remotew · 17/06/2009 21:41

No I noticed her accent that's all. I don't agree that IABU. My DD should not need ID to buy a film that she has already seen in the cinema without being asked for ID when me, her mum was with her.

OP posts:

Nahui · 17/06/2009 21:42

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janeite · 17/06/2009 21:43

Why did you ask for opinions, if you know you were not being unreasonable?

nancy75 · 17/06/2009 21:43

they have to ask, its part of her job, had she sold the dvd without asking for id and a supervisoer/boss had seen her she could have lost her job. being australian has nothing to do with anything. yabu.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 17/06/2009 21:44

I'd be wanting someone to watch out for my child. What if she'd been trying to buy alcohol and the sales assistant didn't bother to check? I used to work in a shop and in pubs, I used to get flack like this all the time, it's a PITA to be honest. I once had to stop a 12 year old buying razor blades!!

hedgiemum · 17/06/2009 21:46

Sorry - what's the problem? If your DD just turned 15, then she almost certainly looks 14-16ish? She should be asked for ID to buy a 15 certificate film. ID always has had to have a photo, that isn't a recent change.

YABU to be annoyed about her being asked for photo ID.

The check-out woman should have been polite about it - the best way to avoid confrontation and keep customers happy, surely? But if she wasn't then you can vote with your feet and shop elsewhere. But I would be glad that they are on top of the ID situation - if they are stringent about DVD's then hopefully even more so about fags and booze!

As for her saying it is breaking the law for her to sell it to you - well I can't imagine you are breaking a law when she actually is 15. But I don't know exactly what the recommendations on that are for retailers.

You sound really annoyed, so should shop elsewhere. I certainly don't think asking for photo Id should be stopped though! What if she's tried to buy an 18?

onepieceofcremeegg · 17/06/2009 21:46

We had a very long,informative thread recently about checkout operators having to ask for ID. Several mners were able to quote the law and what it means to stores/checkout people.

Imo if she is only just 15 then the checkout person was merely doing her job.

AIBU is perhaps not the best choice of topic if you already believe YANBU.

nickytwotimes · 17/06/2009 21:47

Yabu I am afraid.
Your daughter is only 15, not 21, so it is fair enough for her to be IDed imo.

Original poster

Remotew · 17/06/2009 21:50

I am her mum and was with her and vouched that she was 15 so old enough to buy the DVD. The check out lady made us feel like liars. She refused to accept her name with a DOB because there was no photo.

I cannot believe that a 15 year old should have to carry ID just to buy a DVD. She has already seen the film in the cinema without being asked for ID.

OP posts:

scaryteacher · 17/06/2009 21:52

This is why I buy my DVDs and games from Amazon - then no-one can question if I give ds a game above his age range.

onepieceofcremeegg · 17/06/2009 21:53

On the earlier thread I referred to, it was stated that it is no good if you vouch for her. Once id has been requested, it has to be produced. A similar scenario was described, only the person being asked for id had previously worked in the shop and asked her former manager to vouch for her. The checkout person (apparently in the right legally) still refused the sale.

If her manner was unfortunate/impolite, then perhaps you could complain about this. Personally I would tend to just accept that some people have bad days, and I would try to relax and enjoy the rest of my evening.

onepieceofcremeegg · 17/06/2009 21:54

tbh I am not sure quite how the checkout woman's behaviour was so out of order, from your op and subsequent posts. Was she particularly rude or abusive. What actually did she say?

Nahui · 17/06/2009 21:59

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herbietea · 17/06/2009 22:00

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cookielove · 17/06/2009 22:01

yabu, you say she wasn't id when you went to the cinema with her to see the same film, but assuming either you bought the tickets or you were with her when she bought them i can't see there being any reason for her to be id, in that circumstance.

I've worked in a supermarket, i know the importance for checking for id, would you be more outraged if she came home with a 18 film, or fags, or booze, and not been id????

Original poster

Remotew · 17/06/2009 22:05

Onepiece, thanks for your posts.

She made me feel like a liar. That my word was not good enough. It's quite scary really to think that this is the shape of things to come. DD was very upset and shocked by her attitude, that even her mums word wasn't good enough. I'd just picked her up from work experience and she felt really proud of her day and what she had learnt. Should also add that she looks much older than 15, but guess that's beside the point.

Someone has a bad day, you go to buy a bottle of wine and they can ID you, which for now is not compulsary to carry. Hey I'm no tory but I do agree with their stance on this. Please no police state in the UK.

OP posts:

onepieceofcremeegg · 17/06/2009 22:09

I'm guessing that it is the system you are angry with, and not so much the checkout lady (although her manner may have been unfortunate)?

Did you manage to buy any alcohol on your shopping trip? If so hope you can relax and enjoy a glass tonight.

Original poster

Remotew · 17/06/2009 22:10

herbietea, You might have been upset if you had been with him and told your word wasn't good enough.

I haven't had one post that agrees that IANBU sorry if I have,will read again at leisure, but put yourself in my shoes not the supermarket check out lady, how would your really feel?

OP posts:

2shoes · 17/06/2009 22:13

yabu
sorry but much as I understand.
it is more than the ladies jobs worth to sell to some one with out ID
you can get an id card for free(I did for ds)

Ivykaty44 · 17/06/2009 22:13

If you are asked for ID and then you produce ID whether it be a nHS card or drivers licence (mine doesn't have a photo) then the assistant says oh that id is no good - I would be annoyed.

I work in a place where people are constantly being asked for ID and we are particular about what type of ID it has to be so that the customer doesn't produce ID that is not valid and we then have a scene.

I often have married couples arrive and think that they can both use the husbands ID eg drivers licence - then I have to explain that no they need there own personel ID and the husband says oh it s ok I can vouch for my wife she is mrs bloggs. We wouldn't ask

Sorry but ID needs to be clearly stated and what types it then saves confusion which happens even when it is clear

To be fair it would be much easier and a lot less hassle if I didn't have to id people - I expect it would be much easier for barpeople and supermarket cashiers aswell if they didn't have to have confrontations over required ID.

Original poster

Remotew · 17/06/2009 22:14

Onepiece, yes I did and she didn't ID me.

However I was ID's in USA at the age of 32 buying a few cans of lager. How we laughed!!!

How we should have been warned that ID may not be compulsory but you cannot do anything without it.

OP posts:

herbietea · 17/06/2009 22:15

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ThePhantomPlopper · 17/06/2009 22:15

These rules are in place for a reason, the checkout lady can get fined/sacked for serving material to an under aged customer.

You're lucky you got the DVD in the end, many checkout assistants wouldn't have served you at all without ID.

Nahui · 17/06/2009 22:19

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