to think the pregnant woman on the train tutting at not being offered a seat was Being unreasonable?

[pinkyporker]

I will probably get jumped on here but having been a commuting pregnant lady on 3 occasions I am well aware of the discomfort standing on tube journeys can do.

However it really riled me the other day when a pregnant lady huffed and puffed and made loud comments on the train because she had not been offered a seat. Now I was standing but had I been sitting i wouldn't of offered a seat to her after her comments.

If she was 38 weeks pregnant as she so loudly claimed, then surely to is her career choice to work so late into pregnancy and she should consider the journey when making this decision.

Personally if I was that desperate and I have been I would just politely ask someone if they minded giving up their seat but I dont just expect it. There are many people who have problems standing where it is not obvious.

There was also a woman on my local paper complaining of the same.

Just wondered what other people thought. Should pregnant women expect a seat on public transport?

Adressing the whole carriage to ask for a seat shouldn't be a problem for most people???

Wow some of you really don't have a shy bone in your body do you.

This whole don't ask don't get it's your own fault attitude is really horrible. Do the vulnerable in our society really need to ask for help? Shouldn't people just give it?

If I see a person beaten and bloody in the street I don't just walk past thinking "if they need help they will ask". Or a child crying and looking lost. I ask them if they are OK. But women who are obviously in distress are not entitled to this treatment.

Basically a lot of people on this thread are people who don't give up their seats and they want to feel justified in their approaches. Nice.

Brilliant post, Spam. Exactly what I wanted to say.

I think I am getting a little worked up independiente. I just had such an awful time with communting that I still almost burst into tears when I think about it now, 2 years on.

It is no exaggeration to say that the experience completely ruined my faith in human nature. I now no longer believe that the majority of people in our society care one toss about anything that happens to people who are not related to them or close friends. In fact many of them are happy to see others suffer.

Oh don't worry, I too get totally worked up over bad manners - I genuinely don't understand such frigidity of feeling. There are still plenty of people with a decent dollop of human kindness in them, and contrary to public perception I've seen much of that kindness coming from young people. So that's got to be good news for the future.

I travelled by underground in London and Paris. I wasn't able to walk on a train without being offered a seat in Paris, in London I found that most people pretended not to notice my very obvious bump.

wahwah, that's interesting. Do you think we still have a ridiculously embarassed attitude towards fecundity in this country?

lol makipuppy....happens to me all the time....I mean, that I rewrite history and stuff

I don't know about embarassed.

About 50% of people I encountered glared in a hostile manner at my belly as if they could sense the baby blowing raspberries at them.

So an interesting and pleasant combo of embarassment and open hostility...

I guess I find this difficult because I assume people are generally good and if they notice, they will offer. If people don't notice it is not a personal insult ffs!

Yes, pregnant women deserve a seat, absolutely - I don't think anyone is saying they don't. I just don't think you can expect people to notice everything 100% of the time.

What about when people all sit in a line staring at your bump ewe? What then? if you're too shy to ask - well you just stand there like a lemon feeling progressively more ill and then go home and cry.

Because the idea of asking people who have noticed you are heavily pg and decided not to stand up is just horrible. They have made it clear they don't want to stand.

Different if people don't notice, obviously.

When I was in my first trimester of my first pregnancy I took the train from Winchester to Waterloo and another down to Leatherhead. It took all my energy and thesecond I got home from work I dropped my clothes on the floor and went to bed. Nobody ever gave me a seat (because they coudn't see I was pregnant). But there was a stroppy man at the station every morning who wanted everyone to queue up in the order in which they arrived on the platform. Every day I wanted to say "Excuse me, are YOU pregnant." Since that experience I always get up for apregnant woman. One time DH looked at me cross eyed at my unexplained sudden burst of kindness and I said "I've been where she is and it is not fun".

And time on my way home from Waterloo there were no seat there were never seat but one time I say in the aisle because I was exhausted I just had to sit and I didn't care where. The conductor came and told me to get up.

I sat in the aisle...

at horrible conductor experience.

WTF did he want you to do? Keel over or get off the train presumably.

People like that make me so so so angry.

Maybe I live in a parallel universe but I was offered a seat on most of my journeys when pregnant and travelling into central London. Used to warm the cockles of my heart. Used to get embarrassed when travelling with DH who would instruct people to give me their seat .

I had to go sit between the cars so the coffe/cake/crap trolley could get through.

I used to ride the bullet trains in and out of Tokyo with infant and no one ever offered their seat-EVER! One day rode with my mum, infant dd and single girlfriend-ton of offers for girlfriend-none for me, mum, or babe.

So you were allowed to sit somewhere.

I sat on the floor of the tube most days with people treading on me. It was really shockingly awful.

That sounds a bit !!

Didn't mean it like that

Tuboflard I have read that in Japan it is not expected or the done thing at all for anyone to stand for a pregnant woman. So no-one was doing anything odd as that's not how they do things IYSWIM.

Mind you I've never lived there so that could be cobblers

No-Tin-are you kidding-I stood there packed in like a sardine. But we all got a kick out of all these men jumping to attention and offering their seats when the young eligible lass showed up!

Yeah, well Japanese men aren't really known for there outstanding treatment of women. So I guess no surprise there.

Yeah, I did get to sit somewhere. And to be honest I really didn't care where.

Maybe I am still smarting from no longer being the young eligible lass myself, and the difference in the way you are treated when young and perky, and older and pg...

I think I live in your parallel universe too Kerala!

I think that people only don't offer when either they aren't sure if you are pregnant or fat, they themselves have something wrong with them and can't stand, or they haven't noticed.

I can't think of anyone I have ever met who would intentionally ignore a heavily pregnant woman on a pregnant tube.

Pregnant tube? Now that would be handy, nice roomy seats (sofas?), toilets, drinks and cakes. A solution!?

I wonder what the difference is?

Certainly for me the worst part of my journey was jubilee line between london bridge and canary wharf, and back the other way. Believe me they all intentionally ignored a heavily pg woman.

A lot more "normal" people on the northern line part of the journey who on the whole were better.