To feel a bit put out at friends telling me, at the end of my impromptu visit, that they 'like to be telephoned before anyone pops in'?

[Scrumplet]

I'd understand if we'd turned up planning to stay for hours. But DS and I were in the area, and it would have seemed rude not to pop in for 10 minutes, IYSWIM. So we did, and they welcomed us in, and we chatted for 10 minutes in the garden - and then they said, "We prefer visitors to call before they pop in." They were washing up when we arrived.

Anyhow, I feel like a dog with its tail between its legs. I don't mind (in fact, rather like) friends descending on us for brief, impromptu visits - but that's me, I suppose. Were we being unreasonable to just pop in for a few minutes, unannounced?

Impromptu visits only seem to happen to me on washday, when all my radiators are gaily festooned with drying knickers…

I'd be horrified if someone popped in. Absolutely horrified. OH is Scottish and would be thrilled. Don't understand why someone wouldn't text "I'm round the corner, are you free for a cup of tea"

Ooops Zombie thread

I hate being dropped in on, but I make sure my friends are aware of that. A quick phone call works wonders!

I am with your friend on this. They might have plans or simply want to get crappy household jobs finished. It does not matter if you want to stay for 5 minutes or 5 weeks ALWAYS ask first.

Another way of looking at this is you don't want to upset your friend, your friend has shared something that upsets you, this means you never cross this boundry again and you have a better friendship.

Personally I would hate spmeome popping round without warning.

@TeloMere

I don't understand why people get annoyed when someone resurrects a zombie thread. What harm does it do if posters are still interested in the topic? No one's forcing anyone to read it.

Because it always gets ridiculous. People not RTFT and replying to the long gone OP. After 13 years best to start a new one IMO. TBF on this subject though there would be many zombie threads to choose from.

yes you were very unreasonable to pop round without checking. did you learn your lesson?

I would HATE for anyone to just pop in on me. I like plenty of warning

Yeah it’s rude to just turn up without any warning (imo). They might be busy, they might want a chance to brush their hair and have a tidy first, etc. It only takes a mo to ring/text and see if they’re up for you dropping in quickly. I wouldn’t take it to heart that they said they prefer people ringing first, they’ve probably learnt that if you’re not direct people just keep in doing it. I wouldn’t take it as an indication they don’t want you round, just give them a ring or text beforehand. (Also, why does it matter that they were just washing up? You think they need an approved reason not to want visitors?)

Once someone’s there I wouldn’t be peeking from behind the door claiming I was too busy to let someone in for 10 mins, as some people are suggesting. Just don’t arrive unannounced, lots of people don’t like being caught unawares and since we’ve all got mobile phones nowadays there’s no reason not to give someone a quick heads up.

Oh whoops just seen the zombie note 😂

In some cultures this would be the thing to do.
However in your neck of the woods: of course you call first. Id hate unexpected visitors with all my heart. Nomatter if you are brad pitt or Henry cavill. Call first. Always. (I am aware this is a zombie. But I don't care haha)

They are rude but so are you. Not ok to invite yourself with no notice and not ok to be rude to the unasked when they arrive.

@HopeMumsnet

Wow, this is, even for us, QUITE the most zombie-ish zombie thread. From 2009 no less! We won't close it but fair warning, we'd be surprised if these people were still great pals.

Ha ha!

I remember back in the 80s my friend had no landline phone. If I wanted to see her, I would have to call round. Unexpectedly no less. We seemed to manage just fine somehow...

When you have teenagers you have to get used to the constant unexpected ring of the doorbell even in 2022. They may have made arrangements by text with the teen DC but you won't actually know their friends are coming.

I love it when people pop in 🙂

Not sure I'd be taking advice from anyone that can't even read the date. Hilarious!

So what if they were washing up? They might have wanted to have a serious talk about something with one another or have sex or whatever - it's polite to check if people are free before popping in.

Omg I hate people turning up uninvited! When child was a baby there was a parent who knocked practically everyday right in the most inconvenient moments. Child was loud, so could never hide in the house.

Worst ones are those who use key and wander in.

As someone who works from home, I hate people popping in. I find it disrespectful just to assume I've nothing better to do than host you.

@LizDoingTheCanCan

Not sure I'd be taking advice from anyone that can't even read the date. Hilarious!

Oh come on. ‘Hilarious’? How often do you double-check the date on a thread? If it’s in Active, surely people just assume it’s current?

If there's a long thread that suddenly pops up in Trending or Active that I had never seen before I do tend to have a glance at the date it was started.

YANBU OP. It's not a fucking crime to drop by a friend, altho I'd usually text it's up to them to answer the door and say 'sorry not now' or ignore the door or whatever.

The one thing I would say is that covid has made everyone a bit tense/wary/weird about visitors. Or more so.

I wouldn't mention it to friends who did that, but it can be annoying. They may have only been washing up when you called but you don't know what they had planned and they may have ended up being late for something.