To feel a bit put out at friends telling me, at the end of my impromptu visit, that they 'like to be telephoned before anyone pops in'?

[Scrumplet]

I'd understand if we'd turned up planning to stay for hours. But DS and I were in the area, and it would have seemed rude not to pop in for 10 minutes, IYSWIM. So we did, and they welcomed us in, and we chatted for 10 minutes in the garden - and then they said, "We prefer visitors to call before they pop in." They were washing up when we arrived.

Anyhow, I feel like a dog with its tail between its legs. I don't mind (in fact, rather like) friends descending on us for brief, impromptu visits - but that's me, I suppose. Were we being unreasonable to just pop in for a few minutes, unannounced?

YABU I HATE people popping in!!!
Although I’d not say come in I’d say sorry it wasn’t a good time…

FFS @Moomoo75

Why did you resurrect a 13 year old thread??

Oh FFS, didn’t realise it was a zombie thread. I wish there was a way of excluding these from Active.

Yabu. Good for them, most people stew and write posts on MN about unannounced visitors instead of opening their mouth.

Fgs. 2009 thread!

@WhiteFish

But arent you a sentient human being able to STOP that to chat to a PERSON?

Or are you kind of mentlal ill?" i must finish cleaning the cutlery drawer or i die"

I think you need help. This isn’t a normal comment to make about someone not wanting surprise visitors.

It was rude of them to say it but the thought of someone calling unannounced fills me with fear. Except my sister… but then I don’t mind if she sees my underwear drying in the kitchen .

Someone popping in uninvited = my nightmare

@Scrumplet

"Before phones" was well over 100 years ago - different times, different customs. it was a time when, for the middle and upper classes at least, the lady of the house probably wouldn't have been working or responsible for housework and cooking, and was probably delighted at the distraction; and it was before transport was so easy so the issue wouldn't have arisen much anyway. And ultimately if they didn't want visitors the maid could just tell the unexpected guests that the family were not at home or not receiving visitors.

@HotToddyColdSauvignon

FFS *@Moomoo75*

Why did you resurrect a 13 year old thread??

I am so sorry, I tried apologising earlier. I didn't mean to drag up this thread. I thought it was current as it was on my page and I just replied. I have no idea at all why it appeared seeing as it's from 2009. I didn't look at the date. This is a genuine mistake. No offence meant. Am mortified this happened.

@HotToddyColdSauvignon

FFS *@Moomoo75*

Why did you resurrect a 13 year old thread??

Oh get over it. Nobody died!

OP I think you've mistaken their request for a quick heads-up for you needing to make an appointment. Neighbours and local friends ring the bell if they expect to chat on the doorstep / collect something, everyone else will call or text first. If their mission involves coming in then they will call or text. In some areas it's basic manners to let someone say how long they want to whizz about to finish washing up, clear away, put clothes on, put make-up on, have a wee etc. You can still pop on, you just text first: "Hi, we're near X, shall we pop in or are you guys busy?" and they'd say "Brilliant, give us 20 min to clear up lunch / anytime after 10am / we're free right now".

Caught by a zombie, whoops!

[quote Dishh]@Moomoo75

Are you new to Mumsnet? It isn't the best form to resurrect a zombie thread (a thread that is more than a year old).

Next time, start one a new thread of your own if that particular topic interests you.[/quote]
It isn’t ‘the best form’ to act like a patronising cow either, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping you.

I wonder if op has got over this 13 years on 🤔, maybe she's still seething about it?

I would usually text or call before visiting friends. The only person I don’t call before visiting is my mum and even then she sometimes moans about me not calling first. I wouldn’t want people randomly turning up at my house.

Oops, another zombie thread.

Ok - I have only read the first 100 posts before typing this (I will go back and read the rest) but would it have been out of the realms of possibility that the people you popped in to visit might have been washing up so that they could go out @Scrumplet? Leave the house clean and dishes washed and then head out and you might have delayed them?
Also, would it have been so difficult to have either sent them a text or phoned them to day "Hi, DS and I are in the area, and we were wondering if you would be up for a quick 10-15 minute visit? No worries if you've already got plans but thought we should check before showing up on your front door step."???

Now I'll go back and read the other posts.

I think it’s very rude of anyone to just call in without asking first. I definitely wouldn’t appreciate someone doing this at our house. I can’t believe there are posters who think your friend was the one being rude.
It shows how different we all are.

OP you ask what people did before phones - I do agree that pre everyone having a mobile it was more common for people to "pop in". But now everyone does have a mobile and it's been like that for some time. It's perfectly normal to just send a quick message to check whether a visit, no matter how brief, would be convenient - it's fairly basic manners nowadays and I don't really get why you wouldn't do this.

@Airyfairymarybeary

I’m not sure what’s worse. An unexpected guest or a resurrected 13 year old thread!

Aw shit!!! I didn't think to check the posting dates before replying!!!!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@LookItsMeAgain

Ok - I have only read the first 100 posts before typing this (I will go back and read the rest) but would it have been out of the realms of possibility that the people you popped in to visit might have been washing up so that they could go out *@Scrumplet*? Leave the house clean and dishes washed and then head out and you might have delayed them? Also, would it have been so difficult to have either sent them a text or phoned them to day "Hi, DS and I are in the area, and we were wondering if you would be up for a quick 10-15 minute visit? No worries if you've already got plans but thought we should check before showing up on your front door step."???

Now I'll go back and read the other posts.

Did you check the date?

It doesn't usually bother me, unless I'm working, studying or, as happened a few weeks ago, clearing up a huge puddle of dog sick.

People don't seem to mind not being let in if they've just turned up on the off chance that I was free for a chat.

I don't understand why people get annoyed when someone resurrects a zombie thread. What harm does it do if posters are still interested in the topic?
No one's forcing anyone to read it.

Wow, this is, even for us, QUITE the most zombie-ish zombie thread. From 2009 no less!
We won't close it but fair warning, we'd be surprised if these people were still great pals.