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Original poster

very unhelpful things your other half can say whilst in labour

342 replies

benbon · 10/05/2009 10:39

just wondering if anyone else's other halves have come out with very unhelpfull advice whilst you were in labour. aibu to think this was not very helpful?

after being in labour for about 6 hours at this point my husband told me "WELL YOU ARE DRAGGING IT OUT ABIT!"

so what helpful things did your partners say to you,.

OP posts:
Gogopops · 07/12/2010 20:13

During the first stages of my labour DH was sitting in the corner doing a crossword. As I was having contractions he would call over to me 'how do you spell ......' etc. After about four of these requests I had to tell him to fuck off!! I've never let him forget that.

MrsSnaplegs · 07/12/2010 20:30

Although this is an old thread just thought I would add the comment the MW made to my DH as I was about to deliver DD 1
"she just needs to get through this last little bit it stings a little, a bit like a grazed knee"

We laugh about it now but if I could have hit her I think I would ! Yeah stings like a grazed knee with fresh lemon juice squeezed into it maybe!

She didn't actually look old enough to have experienced puberty let alone had a baby herself!!

thunderchild · 13/12/2010 21:00

my obstetrician, lifting my dd over the curtain during my cesarian , with the words "look, youve had one of these"9meaning girl-not baby-obvs)---- well-being a sailor-and high on morphine and pre meds, all i wanted to say was "I wasnt expecting a f"£$$ing foden truck love! I still dont know what restrained me-my husband thought I was laughing with joy, bless him!Grin

loopy9 · 13/12/2010 21:06

My DH said 'Quit you're jibba jabba you ain't hurt' and then 'you don't know the meaning of hurt' in a kind of Mr T voice...fortunately I was high as a kite on gas and air!!

Fibilou · 13/12/2010 21:39

my DHs gem (at full dilation practically with baby coming out of flange)

"Do you want to park in the car park or on the street" Grin

To be fair, I have a real thing about paying for parking, DH says he knew things were bad when I barked "pay for the bloody parking you twat"

Fibilou · 13/12/2010 21:41

Oh and DH repeats the MWs

"if you put as much energy into pushing as shouting this baby would be born"

this annoys me intensely as DD was delivered in 4 pushes, 14 minutes after we arrived at the hospital so it's not as if I was fucking about Angry

JodiesMummy · 13/12/2010 21:51

my DH didnt say anything - he kept his walkman in so he couldnt hear me Shock

Nomorerain · 13/12/2010 21:58

I desperately told my DH to help me get my pants off as the baby's head was coming (just made to hospital) - started cracking jokes saying "that's how it all started!" Needless to say I wasn't very amused at the time.

LJBanana · 13/12/2010 21:59

'Can I turn that fan off, I'm a bit cold!'

ReindeerBollocks · 13/12/2010 22:07

I remember DF saying something along the lines of 'wow babe do you want to see the new app on my phone?' during one of my contractions.

I swiftly told him where I'd shove his bloody phone if he mentioned it again.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 13/12/2010 22:30

I've posted this before, but when I was in labour with dd2 (it was a very fast, full-on labour) I was in the pool, gasping down the G&A and a looked up to see DH gazing at me, obviously about to say something.

I thought- ah, he's thinking about how well I'm doing, how proud he is of me. Then he opened his mouth and said with a smirk, "You should see your hair!! It's gone totally Monica"

medetre · 13/12/2010 22:39

I went into labour with dd when I was out with my 13yo brother and dh was in America with work. He was surpisingly calm and helpful and was better than dh would have been had he been there. Although he says I've scarred him for life

Poppet45 · 13/12/2010 22:43

My DH the next day, after they'd wheeled me back into a normal ward from High Dependency, and me with a smashing new scar from hip to hip, told me in great detail how much his back hurt from having to crouch down next to me during my failed waterbirth and shovel water on my back ro help with the pain. If I could lifted my head, let alone my hand I would have happily inserted my catheter into the appropriate place in his anatomy.

FunkySnowSkeleton · 13/12/2010 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 13/12/2010 23:31

Not DH but the doctor....
I'm in stirrups being stitched up by the doctor after the birth of DD1..

Midwife to doc' That's LOVELY needlework!'
Doctor ..' well my hobby IS cross-stitch!'

I had visions of finding a teddy bear stitched into my bits!!

canyou · 14/12/2010 00:30

DP don't be silly you are not in labour you have weeks yet I am off to work.
Fortunately a pregnant woman casualty vomited all over him and one of his friends popped in to get his spare uniform believed me and delivered DD.
We emigrated such was his shame Grin

HollyBollyBooBoo · 14/12/2010 02:01

"Do you think you'll be done in time for me to make the cricket match tomorrow?"

PatsyPlusOne · 14/12/2010 04:29

Not DH, but a midwife who couldn't get the gas and air to work - "Never mind, you're nearly there now anyway". My response was " that's just BRILLIANT, isn't it!" accompanied by throwing mouthpiece back at her Blush. I did only have 2 more contractions then before ds popped out, but that wasn't the point!

Animation · 14/12/2010 06:10

He kept telling me to "SHUSH."

JanetPlanet · 14/12/2010 07:10

My DH made himself a full English breakfast while I was upstairs on my own contracting (was 5cm by the time he took me to the hospital!). When I shouted down stairs that I needed him to be with me he came up with his big breakfast and ate in on the bed in front of me!! The smell was making me feel sick so he went in the next room to eat it!!! Said he figured it was going to be a 'long day'! Still haven't forgiven him.

Mummy2LZ · 14/12/2010 07:41

My DH looked at me when I was on all fours on the table at 10cms and told me I didnt look as good as the day he met me!!!
Luckily for him I was mid contraction and couldnt reach him!

Caron1968 · 14/12/2010 07:43

As a student Nurse I observed one birth where the woman screamed at the man "what the fuck are you doing?" to which he replied "breathing with you darling, like we learnt at ante natal class". she replied "well fucking stop it will you".

Several minutes later we heard a loud intake of breath and a very red face husband said "sorry darling but I have to breathe to live".
Oh how we chuckled.

TinselinaBumSquash · 14/12/2010 07:45

'Gosh this is tiring, is it likely to takemuch longer.. im knackered'

[me] - SLAP

Ormirian · 14/12/2010 08:05

"Breathe!"

Hmm
PlanetEarth · 14/12/2010 09:37

From the midwife: "Stop screaming, you're hurting my ears!" Hmm I may have replied something like, "I don't care about your &*&"% ears!" Grin

DH was great on the whole. However, I went into labour on the eve of the millennium, so we were of course sitting at home missing out on all the fun. He'd suggested going up the nearby hill to watch the fireworks, and I said, "No way, I'm having contractions here!" Shortly before midnight I changed my mind and said, "Let's go," so off we went with DH charging ahead up the rather steep hill to make sure he didn't miss anything Hmm while I struggled behind and had to call him back to help me. Haven't let him forget that one.

No more contractions till the next morning, the fireworks must have scared the baby away Grin.