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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

very unhelpful things your other half can say whilst in labour

342 replies

benbon · 10/05/2009 10:39

just wondering if anyone else's other halves have come out with very unhelpfull advice whilst you were in labour. aibu to think this was not very helpful?

after being in labour for about 6 hours at this point my husband told me "WELL YOU ARE DRAGGING IT OUT ABIT!"

so what helpful things did your partners say to you,.

OP posts:
LauritaR · 14/05/2009 14:08

When I was breathing in and out on the gas 'n' air my husband said, "Luke, I am your father."

Also, why is it that anaestatists insist on asking you, "Can you feel that?" RIGHT when you're in the middle of a contraction? Mine got rather a$$y with me and received a very strongly lifted finger in his general direction.

And BTW - My midwife went to take a nap, too! She went into a cupboard and no one could find her. I'm wondering if we all had the same midwife. St George's in Tooting, anyone?

steph69 · 14/05/2009 14:18

My first birth was 46 hours and quite tedious! Quite near the end I had really had enough and was insisting on wanting to get up and just go home! After I had decided that may not be the best option, my dh took my hand, gazed in to my eyes and said " Don't forget Darling, no pain.......no gain" ! Enough said!

gigismummy · 14/05/2009 15:02

I was in full-on contractions and my DP said 'where are my slippers, can you look for them'?

MummyDragon · 14/05/2009 18:42

To turn this on its head: as my DD's head was crowning, I turned to DH and said, "did you remember to put the new tax disc on the car windscreen?" (it was the end of the month).

To this day I have noooooo idea why that popped into my head at that moment.

He hadn't remembered, btw.

troutpout · 14/05/2009 18:52

'i'm feeling a bit faint'

genghisthecat · 14/05/2009 19:57

My second daughter was a planned home birth - but a last minute dash to the hospital (because my MW wouldn't believe I was in labour) meant we got home and found no midwives there to meet us even though we were told they would be. When DH phoned my midwife (who was about a 5 minute drive away at the time)to tell her I was contracting every minute she said "tell her to breathe through the contractions and not to push" She then went off dutyand didn't answer her phone and DH delivered my daughter on his own. So he's my hero - I thought about suing the lazy MW cow! Even the other MWs when they arrived were a bit shocked at that one.

funtimewincies · 14/05/2009 20:01

Blimey genghis - it takes a lot to shock me these days but !

Mummyisamonster · 14/05/2009 20:06

In the middle of a contraction after hours of labour with virually no dilation, my DH told me (in a tone of voice that made me want to hit him) "darling, it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better".

I recall vividly bellowing back at him "remember that conversation about things NOT to say to me in labour? That was one of them".

halfwayupthestairs · 14/05/2009 20:19

My DH said he was too tired to go & fill up my water bottle & that if I really wanted it I'd get it myself - too tired to argue, I did. I gave birth 8 minutes later...

In one of the post-natal visits, the midwife asked how it was all going & he went off on one about how tired he was looking after our other 2 children (something I'd done every day prior to the birth). She just looked at him, incredulous - she was great.

MrsFiddleback · 14/05/2009 20:56

I gave birth to my fourth daughter at home. My other three children were at home, and I went into heavy labour when it was their story time. I begged my OH to ring the midwife. He said he'd do it after he'd finished the chapter of the book he was reading them. I was crawling round the next room by the time he had finished. He helped me upstairs, put them to bed and rang up.

Midwives arrived with gas and air - which they couldn't get to work. I was being very stoical as I didn't want to alarm the children crowding round outside the (closed) door. OH came to me with a message from my eldest "Mummy can you hurry up, we're getting a bit bored waiting!'.

After my pain relief free labour was finished, the baby delivered safely and the midwives had gone, my OH told me that he could see exactly why the gas and air wouldn't work, as they were screwing the tubes up wrongly - but that he HADN'T LIKED TO INTERFERE!!!!!!!!!!

milky1965 · 14/05/2009 21:47

hee hee, fab thread. Nuneaton
driving dh's car when waters broke, I pulled up and told him and he shouted "GET OUT, GET OUT, you're driving my car!"
After 40 hours in labour was still only 3cm dilated so finally gave in to an epidural and was started off, DH called me a wimp!
Sat reading newspaper in delivery suite, moaning about chair/tired/hungry/crp tv etc.
Nothing was happening so my Consultant was called in, after 49 hours finally gave birth to our long awaited for IVF baby. When I asked what it was he said "it's a fing baby you divvi"
6 months later, on my way to see the consultant, he told me I had pood all over during the birth but hadn't wanted to upset me by telling me at the time!!

drlove8 · 14/05/2009 21:55

my ex-h said as he held our first, before id delivered the placenta-" well , you know what to do for next time!". MW nearly punched him! lol.....

ladylush · 14/05/2009 22:02

MW - You're not pushing properly.
Me - So how should I push?
MW - Like you're doing a poo
Me - Er.......not helping

Wish she'd bloody pushed off.

lilolilmanchester · 14/05/2009 22:10

I've just arrived in hospital, domino delivery, in desperate need of gas & air.... DH: "can I get the rugby on this TV" MW: "probably, let me find the remote control and I'll put the kettle on so you can have a cup of tea with your sandwiches".... WTF? (DD born 20 mins after this exchange....)

jmacon · 15/05/2009 01:06

During 'transition' of ds2 he turned and whispered to me' I've a terrible feeling somethings gonna go wrong' WTF!!!!! Thankfully it was a great birth from 3cm dilated to born in 44 minutes!

troutpout · 15/05/2009 06:24

oh just remembered...
dh: ' oh...the car won't start...i'll have to get J(mate) around to jumpstart it
Me: (panting and between contractions)'you have got to be fucking kidding!!'

katymouse · 15/05/2009 09:35

Rading these, I am so glad I decided not to let DP anywhere near for duration, my mum was brilliant and far more use.

Naetha · 15/05/2009 12:22

These are all awesome!!

When I was deciding whether to go back to hospital or not after 12 hours of back to back labour, I was getting DH to time the contractions using some website where you press a button to start, and press a button to finish. He kept on messing it up, and pressing the button at the wrong time or just not pressing it - after 15 minutes of "oh I missed that one - let's wait for the next contraction" I just said "sod it, I'm going!".

Then a couple of hours later on, I'd just gone from 1st stage to second, and the midwife decided that I "wasn't focusing" and took my G&A away from me for the whole of the rest of the labour. I was finally allowed it back for when they sewed up my tear.

Pixel · 15/05/2009 13:17

Mrsfiddleback, I read your post out to Dh last night and he looked very smug and said "good job you had me". During my first labour the G&A connection broke (probably due to me clinging desperately to it ) and the midwife was dithering about so Dh took charge and went marching off to find another part to fix it. It felt like he'd been gone ages and I nearly took his hand off when he handed it over!

WhiteWineAndJaffaCakes · 15/05/2009 16:07

When I started contractions I had a couple of paracetamol and ran a warm bath while I waited to go into hospital. DH said 'oh well, while you're in there I might as well clean the bathroom'. WTF ? He did as well, floor to ceiling (apart from the inside of the bath obviously).

MrsWeasley · 15/05/2009 16:24

24 hours into first labour (in which DH was been asleep for a lot of the 24 hrs)
"Are you going to be much longer, I'm getting a bit tired!" LOL

Homebird8 · 15/05/2009 18:02

End of labour at home with DS2 when as I made my first push my waters went, all over DH.

"Ooh, it's all warm... oh no, it all cold and sticky. MW could you pass me some dry shorts from that drawer"

Was he really going to change there and then? DS2 born 5 mins later.

charitygirl · 15/05/2009 18:14

'don't snap at me'

shelleylou · 15/05/2009 18:16

I'm going pub tonight

Rosesinautumn · 15/05/2009 18:57

About 30hrs into my first labour, DH asked me if I wanted him to swing me round by my ankles to see if the G-force would make the baby descend , oh yeah thanks, cos I'm not in any dicomfort or anything. During my C-section with DS2 my very weird anesthetist first asked me if this was my first baby, when I replied 'no second' he exclaimed 'What! By the same father!'. Then while they were stitching me up he asked me when I was having the next one, it was quite a traumatic op and I was at that 'never doing that again' stage, to which he replied 'no, you'll have another, once a women's had me she always comes back for more' then winked, said 'see you in a couple of years babe' and left! Errr okaaaay freak!