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Original poster

very unhelpful things your other half can say whilst in labour

342 replies

benbon · 10/05/2009 10:39

just wondering if anyone else's other halves have come out with very unhelpfull advice whilst you were in labour. aibu to think this was not very helpful?

after being in labour for about 6 hours at this point my husband told me "WELL YOU ARE DRAGGING IT OUT ABIT!"

so what helpful things did your partners say to you,.

OP posts:
toddlerama · 12/05/2009 13:52

DH in theatre scrubs at first elective c-section, decides to muse on how good he looks in these clothes and maybe he should become a doctor? Might take a bit long though... The midwives looked at each other and both burst out laughing. At the second section with DD2, he asks "Will I get to wear the special clothes again?" whilst I'm getting robed up! He has a special way of making it all about him...claims he was trying to take my mind off things.

StewieGriffinsMom · 12/05/2009 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

marymungoandmidge · 12/05/2009 14:39

After waking at 4.30 am with strong contractions with Baby No 2 and telling my DH; he suggested I lie down as I couldn't be sure...and even tried to put the bedclothes back over me!!!...I said something very rude, which he was worried might wake my Mother (who was staying)...I then INSISTED (in no uncertain terms) that he take me to hospital...we arrived at 5.30 am and I was 9cms dilated...baby arrived at 6.15! Respect !

foxinsocks · 12/05/2009 14:41

whilst I was giving birth at Queen Charlottes when Jeffrey Archer was in Wormwood Scrubs temporarily and dh permanently stuck to the window...

'I think I can see him. I think I can see Jeffrey Archer. I think it might be him...hang on...no not sure. Oh that might be him. I think it might be him'

betterthanlife · 12/05/2009 14:48

DH was great except for the 'it helps if you actually breathe in the gas and air instead of taking the thing out to swear'. No shit sherlock.

MW on the other hand: After arriving at hospital at 9am 5cm dilated -'but you can't have the baby today - its unlucky (Friday 13th)' and I had a baby last year, it almost killed me. Really not helping.

poshsinglemum · 12/05/2009 15:56

Just before I went into hospital my dad told me to be good!
Mum and dad also phoned me upo whilst in labour in hospital. The stupid mw passed them over.
They always have been a bit toxic in the totally clueless way. What did dad think I was going to do- go out clubbing? whilst waiting for dd to pop out?

systemsaddict · 12/05/2009 16:04

oh yes I'd forgotten, as I was in very fast intense painful 2nd stage at about 9.30 pm, baby clearly very nearly with us, I got 'can't you wait till after midnight, it's my mum's birthday tomorrow and it would be a nice present for her' !!

loobylu3 · 12/05/2009 16:05

This thread is hilarious!
When I realised I was in labour the first time, DH was at the gym. I called him to say I was in labour. He said 'I haven't finished my workout, do you mind if I do the weights!' I was actually quite relaxed and agreed but when he came home and took a leisurely shower, fiddled around with the baby car seat, etc I started to loose my rag! I have to admit he was actually excellent from then onwards. I think because I wasn't screaming in agony, he thought I wasn't in labour!
Third time round he also didn't believe I was in labour, took half an hour to get up from bed and then checked if he couldn't go to a conference in London which he was supposed to attend that day! I also got told to 'give it some welly' as if I wasn't trying hard enough and shortly after that delivered a 9lb 2oz baby OT (ie the wrong way round)!

Rhubarb · 12/05/2009 16:09

"I suppose a quick shag is out of the question then?"

Actually not a rl quote I hasten to say! My dh fell asleep whilst I was in labour with dd.

I had ds at home and everytime I had a contraction I would grab hold of him, after a bit he did say "Could you stop doing that please? It's getting a bit annoying."

I can't remember my response but it was fairly strong!

woodstock3 · 12/05/2009 16:11

(leaning over the screen bit during my c-section to provide a running commentary on what was going on) - dh said at one point excitedly:
"ooh! i can see them cutting through through your stomach - there's LOADS of fat!"
(brief pause)
"it's all yellow! honestly, it looks like whale blubber!"
(followed by surgeon, thank merciful god, saying firmly that he should get out of the way
dh says now he was only trying to take my mind off it and he thought id find it interesting

Flamesparrow · 12/05/2009 16:29

Loving Nuneaton

@ the company Nappyzone!

My DH was nice and usefully quiet for most of them. With DD he did as me if he should go to work for a bit or not.... I was in labour for the first time in my life, how the hell do I know if he should go to work or not!?!?

I remember both my midwife and quite a few friends being horrified that I filled the birth pool during labour with DS, but that was my choice to pass the time - I kept stopping midway for contractions

My dad called when I was in labour with DD saying he was just passing the hospital, should he pop in for a visit? We are not a close and huggy father and daughter.... No.

I do feel sorry for the tired DH's though - yes, I know we are tired from the work of it all, but if you were up for 30 hours straight watching someone you love in pain, I'm fairly sure you'd be wiped out too.

"he developed a belief in the analgesic properties of Haribo tangfastic...he tried to make me eat one during every contraction." pmsl!!!!

Flamesparrow · 12/05/2009 16:30

Bitch midwives have actually gotten much kinder over the years...

My gran was told not to scream or cry because she didn't during the conception. The baby was the product of rape .

Rhubarb · 12/05/2009 16:31

Flamey - It took me a while then to work out that you were filling the pool with water and not with something else!

Flamesparrow · 12/05/2009 16:32

lol!

We had no hose or anything, so I filled the thing with a washing up bowl going back and forth to kitchen sink

Rhubarb · 12/05/2009 16:37

I shopped at Morrisons and baked a cake whilst in labour with ds. I was miffed that I didn't get to do the icing for the cake though.

After he was born we all sat around and ate it!

sammyd117 · 12/05/2009 17:02

birth of DD happened a lot more quickly than we thought and there wasn't enough time to get to the hospital... DH called 999, the operator asked: "can you see the head?" to which DH replied "I don't know, where do I look??"

Flamesparrow · 12/05/2009 17:27

I have plans for baking during this labour

BikeRunSki · 13/05/2009 08:38

"I think might go to bed and get some for a few hours".

I was wrapping up Ebay parcels in the middle of the night with contractions 6 mins apart for DH to post the next day. DS came 2 weeks early on a Sunday night.

Reginamygina · 13/05/2009 10:29

Dp and I in the lift to the labour ward, me in full blown labour.

Dp gets the camera out:

"Give us a smile!".

For DD2 (38 minute labour):

Me: "call the midwife I want to push!"
Dp: "no you don't".

michymama · 13/05/2009 11:22

I love this thread !!!
I was having contractions and midwife told DH to talk to me and keep my mind of things.
So he said "I spoke to my mum before, everything is ok at home although the cat has been run over and is dead "

thell · 13/05/2009 11:43

Nooo, Michymama!!

Nuneaton is still my favourite

My Dh was pretty fab - the only thing that still makes me laugh was that he was caught off guard because after a long long day of minor contractions and basically no dilation, the midwife who visited to examine me (home birth)broke my waters, as there had been some hind-water leak already. Cue very sudden descent into active labour with strong contractions very close together. DH had been out of the room making the MW a cuppa whilst all this was going on

DH: Thell, your friend Jen is on the phone - would you like a chat with her?
ME: (incredulous look) ..pant pant..No..pant pant..Can't..
DH: (confused look, pause) Are you sure you don't just want to say Hello ?
ME: (death stare) NO.

poor man!

mrsrawlinson · 13/05/2009 11:49

Astonishing the number of you who are "Loving Nuneaton". You wouldn't be saying that if you lived here, trust me. Terrific thread, by the way.

poshsinglemum · 13/05/2009 12:42

After the birth the midwife told me not to hold thh baby too much as she would cry whenever I left the room. When I disagreed she told me ''Well I've had three of them so I know what I'm talking about. ''

During labour I had another bitch midwife who tried to ask me about my medication which I was no longer taking. (It was on my notes)She asked me if I was planning to go back on it in the future- completely irrelevant to labour! It was no longer an issue but I didn't want to be reminded of my past illness. She practically stalled my contractions.

lil · 13/05/2009 13:43

pmsl "horse - imagine getting the head out"

dh pretty cool actually, but I got quite high on the gas 'n air and right at the end I refused to give the gas tube back, and had it gripped between my teeth, breathing in and out. But when I screamed /mooed with pain it echoed down the gas pipe. Another mw then came in and snatched it off me shouting " the whole ward can hear you!"

mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 13/05/2009 16:19

still loving this thread.
Just want to add my other one which I have said on another thread. After ds was born,the mw lovingly handed him to me all wrapped up and said here is your beautiful little boy, to which dh and I looked at each other and said to the MW,

well lets face it, he looks like a potato

MW looked horrifed as dh and I fell about laughing

He was gorgous too just kind of like a potato. We still call him potato/spud now