tp think this mother should have disciplined her ds's?

[cheshirekitty]

Work in a NHS outpatients department. One woman had her two sons with her - ages about 6 and 8. The boys where running about the waiting room, running about the corridors leading to the clinic rooms.

We do procedures in our clinics, so often women may feel a bit weak etc after seeing the doctors.

Mum made no effort to check her sons, so I asked them to stop running about. The younger son then said something to me (not nice). Mum ignored it all.

AIBU to think she should have exercised some parental control?

YANBU upon first reading but I would have approached her rather than the kids and gently asked her if she would mind keeping her DCs quiet as some other patients might be disturbed.

Was she ill herself though? Perhaps she just didn't have the strength anymore if she was unwell.

In general, yes she should have dealt with them. But maybe she was feeling very ill or depressed and couldn't manage.

YANBU; very selfish and inconsiderate behaviour from mother and children, but sadly a very common sight these days.

I do, however, think you should have spoken to the mother about this at the time.

yanbu

Spoke to kids after they had careered into me in the corridor.

maybe she didn't want to display any more than what was already happening and they are old enough to be disciplined when out so maybe she did tell them off when out for there behaviour but didn't want to air it publicly sometimes embarrassment can stop you from causing more of a scene

also depends if they had sn my ds wouldnt sit still for one minute if i try to tell him he will melt down and create more of a scene and for others to comment to me of something i have no control over i ignore it too its hard enough when out dealing with it

she might have been let down for childcare and been miffed she had to bring tehm with, and if not feeling her best was struggling anyway, but you should have spoken to her, not the children i think, but i can understnad why it was irritating adn annoying

Yanbu to think they should have behaved better, but if women come out of the clinic feeling weak then maybe she was sitting there feeling weak?

YANBU

I'm astounded that so many responses are that she shouldn't have had to discipline them because she might not have been feeling well. I'd have to be literally at death's door to let my DDs run about causing trouble for anyone, particularly in a hospital setting where it's downright dangerous. Far too many people let their kids run riot these days and everyone else seems to think it's OK, or just assume there must be a legitimate reason for it. Short of serious SN, there is never any excuse for it IMO. And the odds of both boys having severe SN that completely disallows them to sit still and behave are ridiculously low.

YANBU. But I would agree with others who have said you should have spoken to her.

Boys nearly knocked me off my feet, at that time I did not know who mum was. Mum was waiting to see doc, so had not had a procedure done (I know because I was doing that clinic).

I don't think there is anything wrong with a member of staff asking a child to stop running if they are barged into. I hate the fact that noone thinks its ok to mildly rebule anyone else's precious kids if they are running riot. I do it and expect others to do it to my kids if they misbehave. Generally if you speak to kids or teenagers with a smile and give them an explanation you get a good response. If they are rude like the OP experienced then I would speak to the mum.

rebuke I mean. Just to be clear before I am flamed - this is a gentle but firm word, I am not some mad discplinarian!

I'm with slummybutyummy, all this precious 'don't speak to my children when they are naughty, speak to ME' is ridiculous. Why the hell shouldn't an adult object to a child who is old enough to know better crashing into them? Are our children so indulged no-one must ever criticise them?

Does them no favours IMO, it'll come as a real shock when they go out into the world on their own and have to deal with other people who don't think they are the most wonderful creatures to ever walk on the Earth.

don;t thikn speaking to the children is wrong, but nor is approaching hte adult first

Lulu, you obviously have not read my posts. I was walking up the corridor, got mowed down by the boys, did not know who their mum was. Asked them politely not to run about the corridors/waiting room, was told to fuck off. Mum saw/heard all of this and did nothing.

So you all think that is fine?

Kittylove, calm down - there are lots of posters agreeing with you - including me.

I don't think the children should have behaved like that, and I think you were right to speak to them.

But your original post was about the mother (not your mum, so please stop calling her mum). She should have disciplined them, but maybe she had a mental health problem or was otherwise ill. None of use were there and we don't know her, so it is impossible to say if YABU or not.

That is not the same thing as saying her behaviour was fine.

Thanks, Huw. I just do not believe people think it is ok for children to act in this way and not be checked.

dont need to get so cross! i am not saying it was fine for them, i am sorry you got told to eff off, that is not acceptable

i also said speaking to the children is fine

without knowing why she was there , what her health issues were etc it is hard to say , i apprecaite you are doing your job and don;t need chidlren running into you,but shit happens, its not the end of thw world

Agree, it is not the end of the world, but what if they had mowed down the 89 year old who was following me down the corridor?

Just think some parents allow their children to do anything.

yes, some parents do.and some do for reasons taht are deeper than 'cant be arsed', but it is crap when it makes your difficult job more difficult.

maybe she is really ill and never gets a break? Maybe there is some reason why she is kackered and the kids are playing up?

Of course it's annoying for you, but you shouldn't be judging IMO. I'd expect hospital/clinic staff to be able to think this out for themselves tbh.

Oh enough with the no-judging, please! We all make judgements about other people all the time, most of us also reserve a little space alongside those judgements for accepting we might be wrong and changing our minds. There is such a desperation not to be seen to 'judge', hardly surprising then that there isn't a greater social imperative to think about our actions with respect to others. A little judging, in a situation like this one, goes a long way.

But it is not annoying, it is dangerous. If the 89 year old who was following me had been mowed down instead of me, she could have suffered a broken hip.

Surely I have a professional responsibility to protect all of my patients?