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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"all women dream of being a bride and having a fairytale wedding day"

200 replies

mrsblanc · 06/05/2009 00:47

or something similar was said on the (otherwise excellent )prog showing Claire from Steps losing weight for her wedding.

NO THEY BLOODY DON'T

OK I feel better now.
Sorry for swearing

OP posts:

MrsMerryHenry · 07/05/2009 20:48

a la Catita!

Katrina7 · 07/05/2009 21:50

Hi Catita, i was thinking of you these days with the news about mexico and just now when i was posting in another thread. Hope you are well. LOL at your mum's hat.

josette · 07/05/2009 22:00

I have had to teach sex and relationship edication to some 15 year old girls this year. I know... still basically children, they don't know the real world/ men yet. But they had to write down their 'lifeplan'... what they would their life to be like. In each group 23 or 24 out of 25 wrote that they wanted to get married and have children (they pretty much knew what dress they wanted/ names of their children) and these are all girls who will go to decent unis. So I the vast majority have this dream to begin with... and then what happens?

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 07/05/2009 22:30

The smarter ones find other things to think about, but sadly an awful lot of them still fall for the propaganda that 'all' women want marriage'n'children, and that a woman who doesn't have a husband and babies is some sort of a failure or a freak even if she's earned millions from writing bestsellers, found a cure for cancer, set up an organic veg co-operative or discovered a new planet.

Original poster

mrsblanc · 07/05/2009 22:31

In timely fashion I met a woman today who works in a wedding dress shop.

She told me most women who come to try on dresses would pay almost ANY amount for the dress they want , even when it is very apparent they cannot afford it .

OP posts:

Katrina7 · 07/05/2009 22:44

Solid my ex told me this before we get together when we still chatted as friends on the phone he said once 'every woman wants to get married i bet if your ex asked you to you would do it straight'. I had a fab career and life back then. Anyway after that we got together and a year and half later he left when i was pregnant 'because i had planed it' ! Well i should know better after his first comment

beanieb · 07/05/2009 22:46

I know people who say stuff like 'I've been planning my wedding day since I was 8 and I know exactly what dress I will be wearing' BARF!

REDICULOUS. hOW DO WOMEN GET LIKE THIS!?

SkaterGrrrrl · 07/05/2009 22:55

I'm also confused.

How can one put lipstick on a hen if they don't have lips?

It should be beakstick, surely?

stickylittlefingers · 07/05/2009 23:06

I wish my mum could have seen this thread 10 years ago so she wouldn't have thought I was a freak.

thumbwitch · 08/05/2009 00:44

catita - seems like you're more oppressed by matriarchy than patriarchy now!

bleh · 08/05/2009 10:43

I agree. There's definitely more matriarchy oppression than patriarchy.

I was screamed at by a psychotic DGM when being a bridesmaid because my shoes weren't high enough. For my DB's wedding, other SIL took over, so new SIL had to put up with: her choice of bridesmaid's dresses because she kicked up such a fuss at new SIL's choice, hen night and general moping around and taking over.

Bearing my female family members in mind, either eloping or great big security guards will be the best solution.

GreenMonkies · 08/05/2009 10:51

I have no desire to spend a horrific sum of money on dressing up as someone else in a dress that is both physically and psychologically uncomfortable and a "slap-up" mediocre meal for 150 followed by a naff disco.

When we eventually get married (if we ever get around to it) it will be quiet, informal and low-key. The only barrel curls and flouncy dresses will be on our DD's if that's what they want to wear!

piscesmoon · 08/05/2009 11:02

I have 3 DSs, so I hope that if they get married they choose women who are not hung up on 'their perfect day'.

Gillyan · 08/05/2009 11:15

I have never grown up dreaming of the big wedding etc.

I was at a weddding yesterdya and it was gorgeous and id make me want to get married more actually.

It will not be a big affair though costing the earth, it's so over the top. I suppose if people have the money then so what but people that get loans etc to pay for huge weddings are barmy IMO.

ChocFridgeCake · 08/05/2009 11:18

Well clearly its wrong to say ALL, about anything... but I dislike the anti-big-day sentiments as much as the big day sentiments.

Sadly its become almost fashionable for some to do down weddings, falling over themselves to prove how little time, effort and money they would spend on what is a pretty important day as days go.

bleh · 08/05/2009 11:32

It is strange how the tide has turned. I'm reading "The Plague" by Albert Camus at the moment. Basically, plague breaks out in city, city gets closed down to prevent spread, people deal with plague. What I did notice, was at one bit it says that the correspondence with the outside world that was allowed is of births, marriages and deaths.
If the book was written now, would it still include marriages?

Mumcentreplus · 08/05/2009 11:48

Totally like me Edam..I was never a wedding planner and at one point actively against marriage...but the day was brill and it was cheap too

Laquitar · 08/05/2009 14:41

Regardless of whether you like girlie things and big dresses or not does it also have to do with the fact that some people are not good with long preparations and planning? Personally i couldnt plan for 2 years one special day and the more i plan something the less i enjoy it. It is the same with christmas and birthdays. I also had to do my driving lessons intensive because the idea of taking one year was worrying me. Same with studies, I prefer intensive courses.

beanieb · 08/05/2009 16:01

I'm not anti other people doing what they want, not at all, but I do really dislike when people have a big fancy church wedding despite never having been an active church goer. It makes me cringe.

I am getting married after years of saying I never would and you wouldn't get me visiting the local churches in the hope they might let me get wed there.

Am also a bit 'meh' about people who think a wedding has to cost a lot, it doesn't . We're spending more than I thought but that's mostly the food and wine for the party we're having. Our actual wedding bit is very cheap.

ChocFridgeCake · 08/05/2009 16:19

What about traditional Indian weddings that go on for 3 days beanieb, is that a bit 'meh' as well?

Kathyis6incheshigh · 08/05/2009 16:28

Beanie only said she was 'meh' about people thinking weddings HAVE to cost a lot, not about anyone who has a big wedding!

ChocFridgeCake · 08/05/2009 16:33

Can you tell beanieb from me "OK then that's fine", Kathyis6incheshigh?

Kathyis6incheshigh · 08/05/2009 16:43

beanieb · 08/05/2009 16:47

eh?!?

My SIL to be went to a great INdian wedding last month, they had both the long ceremony and then a western one (The groom was not from an Indian background) and apparently it was great.

I wasn't in any way implying that people following traditions at the wedding ceremony are 'meh' but that there isn't really a NEED for a hugely expensive dress, a 4 course meal, favours, cars, photographers etc.

Catitainahatita · 08/05/2009 17:58

Nice to see you around again. I hope you are happier and blooming in your pg!

And yes Thumb I am well and truely under the boot of my MIL and mum these days. Somethimes I wonder what my teenage self would say if she saw me. It would probably include a lot of expletitves, I think.

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