"all women dream of being a bride and having a fairytale wedding day"

[mrsblanc]

or something similar was said on the (otherwise excellent )prog showing Claire from Steps losing weight for her wedding.

NO THEY BLOODY DON'T

OK I feel better now.
Sorry for swearing

Great thread.
Am someone else who totally failed to identify with the whole princess thing.

I only intend to get married so DP gets the kids if I die and I get his pension if he does. And don't have to go through a nightmare over the house and inheritence tax if anything happens.

We'll have a party because we love our mates and want to show them a good time.

Romance? pah.

I once saw a photograph by a Magnum photographer - I think it was Elliott Erwitt - which put me off the whole meringue/veil combo for life. It was a veiled bride standing in a car parking space. In the next space was a tarpaulined car. It just looked like some man's two prized possessions, all wrapped and lined up.

I got married in jeans and it was the most romantic, exciting day.

PinkTulips - I could have written your post word for word. DP and I (if we ever get married that is) have talked about doing it and telling everyone after the deed is done - except for my parents and MIL who will be invited to stay and told to bring something vaguely smartish to wear as we will be 'going somewhere nice for dinner'. They won't know until we are outside registry office.

What a nightmare.

(Although if I ever did have to marry DP, I think a serious party would be a good idea.)

No fucking way!

I hate being on-stage and have everyone looking at me.

Big weddings are mostly a waste of money, IMO.

I eloped.

I'm with PinkTulips on this. She sums up my sentiments exactly.

I love being married, just would rather then emphasis be on the marriage than on the ceremony that legalises it.

I seem to have touched a nerve....and I thought I was a lone voice....

Can I just add - the 'princess' thing makes me want to hurl, too. It's so 'Barbie'.

I never wanted a wedding, the thought of it made me feel sick - what a waste of money. My husband wanted a proper wedding with me in a big dress YUK! I did it for him and my family, the memory still haunts me. Oh the speaches, hideous. Why does anyone think that level of embarassment is fun? Definitely touched a nerve with me. Every little girls dream pah.

I have never, ever dreamed of getting married. Probably explains why I never have!

I bloody love other people's weddings. I really enjoy them, but have absolutely no desire to do it myself.

If we ever do get married, we'll either do a sneaky Vegas drive-through, or just go a registry office with DS and have a massive party afterwards.

araminta I am glad you mentioned the speeches. I went to a wedding where the couple asked for someone at EACH of the (15) tables to give a speech!!
Then the bride and groom each spoke for about half an hour

AAAARGH

Hens I love being a guest at any wedding at all.

Apart from the horrid tradition of getting invited to the evening do only . That is never much fun

Never wanted the white wedding, meringue dress, photos, flowers, cars with ribbons, multiple receptions, silly hats, etc etc.

We had a very, very low key civil ceremony in a town hall with a buffet afterwards that we'd made oursleves. I wore black.

I hate being the centre of attention and having people looking at me - just want the ground to open and swallow me up.

My future SIL has apparently dreamed of her wedding day since she was 5 years old, and is rapidly morphing from a relatively normal person into a total bridezilla.

I had a big wedding, in a castle, wearing a huge dress, sparkly tiara, the works. Was my absolute dream day, although quite aware it's some people's idea of hell! It was worth every penny to me, as it was a chance to host an absolutely amazing party, with all of our friends, in a beautiful setting and celebrate our marriage.

Best wedding I've been to as a guest though was a pagan wedding in a field (much drinking of traditional mead), so I think there is room for everyone to have their own dream wedding, as long as you don't assume what works for you works for everyone else.

I'd like to know what "all men" dream of. A lesbian threesome? A big fucking pension? I'd imagine it isn't some sort of frock...

'Apart from the horrid tradition of getting invited to the evening do only . That is never much fun '

This is a very British thing.

I'd never heard of it before I moved here.

Do you not find it insulting?

To be fair, the person who said that about all women dreaming about being brides did own a bridal shop.

I thought it was a really good programme. She did look a bit disappointed when she lost 4lbs at bootcamp. I'd like to go there.

Wonder if sales of her DVD will go up after that programme.

mrsblanc glad you are with me on the speeches. I have to go to a big princess wedding shortly as a guest and that is bad enough DH says I cannot wear my trainers

i had the white dress, the reg office, the hotel reception - it didn't cost anywhere near as much as the national average, more like a quarted of it and we had the best day, both of us, and many of our 50-100 guests said it was one of the best weddings they'd been to. It did help that we had some unique features, I guess, like my best friend's DH doing a rendition of Jake the Peg for our entertainment, and bride and groom both being in the live band!

I sometimes feel there's competitive anti-weddingness on MN -
1st person: "ooh, my wedding cost a fiver and had 10 people"
2nd person: "Oh, that's nothing. Mine was free and we did it at lunch time and then I went back to work".

I loved my wedding and just looking at a picture of the flowers or my bouquet can make me happy. I love all weddings whether they're big, small or completely random. I love the idea that this is you (or a friend or family member) standing up and saying, "this is the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with and I want you (the community/friends/family/legal system) to acknowledge and appreciate that."

I know, that makes me a sad romantic, but I'm proud of it!

MrsBlanc - I get your point though that your issue is with the assumption that all women are the same and not that you have an issue with anyone who had a big white wedding!

expat, no not insulting in the least.
And I do understand why people do it - to include as many people as possible within budget restraints.

But the reality is that I have never been to one of the evening only do's that was enjoyable.

Often the evening guests arrive at the allotted time and the meal/ speeches are not yet finished to so you are all herded into a room to hang around.

There is a real feeling of arriving having missed the real fun.

When one of my friends got married, she insisted that we all go to a wedding fair with her. Never, never, agree to go to a wedding fair; it is the most horrible display of consumerism confused with strange notions of romance and tradition. Sickening, pathetic, and horrifying. It pretty much put me off the idea of weddings entirely; DP and I are thinking about getting married, but we will elope.

Someone I know had commemorative tea towels made for their wedding to distribute as a 'souvenir' for their guests. I was speechless.

Bling, your post is hilarious and very true !

'Often the evening guests arrive at the allotted time and the meal/ speeches are not yet finished to so you are all herded into a room to hang around.

There is a real feeling of arriving having missed the real fun. '

Oh, dear! I'd find that terribly insulting!

I can't imagine doing that to my guests.

If I couldn't afford to have everyone there for all of it then I'd scale back the wedding.

That just sounds awful to me!

[shudder] @ adult women trussed up to the point of immobility in horrid white gowns, painted up like an overgrown geisha and the inevitable 'updo'. my father remembers a hen man in his village who used to put lipstick on the old hens before he sold them to make them look younger. pretty much the same thing.