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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think some women marry into wealth on purpose!

170 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins · 23/04/2009 22:15

I am meeting LOADS of "yummy mummy types" at the moment who have married really wealthy men, now SAHM, driving flash cars who before didn't work in higly paid jobs.....so begs the questio, did they set out to acheive this or marry for love?????

OP posts:
MamaG · 23/04/2009 22:16

duh

I'm too romantic to marry for money but a lot do.

thisisyesterday · 23/04/2009 22:17

well, someone has to marry the wealthy men don't they?

I haven't married someone really wealthy, but I am lucky that dp earns enough for me to be a SAHM and drive a nice new car.
I certainly didn't set out to achieve it, but I do enjoy it

I am sure there are plenty of people out there who do marry for moeny though. I would imagine they're fairly unhappy though

FAQinglovely · 23/04/2009 22:17

does it really matter??

bran · 23/04/2009 22:18

Does it matter?

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 23/04/2009 22:18

"does it really matter?? " YES!!!........i think

OP posts:
bran · 23/04/2009 22:21

Lol at cross with FAQ.

I don't think it does matter so long as they are compatible. Obviously if someone marries a person that they hate just to become wealthy it seems unlikely that either of them will be really happy, but I think it's fair enough to find wealth an attractive characteristic.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 23/04/2009 22:21

Why does it matter to you ?

Not being sarcastic, genuinely curious

nametaken · 23/04/2009 22:22

I dunno, do you think then women shouldn't marry a man if he's rich? What if they love him regardless. What if she's like my best friend who married a poor man who'se now a millionaire. Wonder if people say she only married him for money.

nametaken · 23/04/2009 22:23

Imagine having a rich husband and everyone secretly thinking you only married him for his money.

FAQinglovely · 23/04/2009 22:24

well if they're both happy then who really gives a shit (unless you're secretly jealous )

TheCrackFox · 23/04/2009 22:24

I set out to marry an averagely paid, scruffy but lovable chef. Does that make me a scummy mummy?

I am a SAHM (not really through choice but couldn't actually afford the childcare), can't drive, DH drives a 9 year old car. We live in a flat. There, does that make you feel better.

Seriously, though, stop comparing your life to everybody else. It is pointless and ultimately, will make you very unhappy.

TheOldestCat · 23/04/2009 22:27

How very Jane Austen of you, OP!

frisbyrat · 23/04/2009 22:28

I imagine quite often women who marry for money marry men who marry pretty young things. It works both ways!

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 23/04/2009 22:30

I am jealous! I work bloody hard PT and DH works Full Time. I would love to stay at home. We have paid and worked really hard for what we have and just recently our friends have been brought expensive £400,000 + houses by their parents, one of my friends has just given up work to be a SAHM and arrived at playgroup in a Porsch 4X4! I am jealous!!!

OP posts:
FAQinglovely · 23/04/2009 22:31

life is too short to be jealous

TheCrackFox · 23/04/2009 22:32

Well if he is rich and she is a pretty young thing they probably make each other very happy, in their own way. So, on balance, I would think they do love each other.

bran · 23/04/2009 22:35

There's more to marriage than falling in love, which I think is a bit over-rated despite having married for love myself. Lots of DH's family have arranged marriages and they don't seem any less happy with their partners than the average love match.

Actually, I think if you are married to a wealthy person it's probably better not to be too much in love and needing their attention as most wealthy people have become that way by putting their work before everything else in their lives.

LivingLaVidaLurker2 · 23/04/2009 22:35

There is a book by Ginie Polo Sayles called 'How To Marry The Rich' so no, YANBU. However, as long as you are happy, I wouldn't worry too much about anyone else. (Actually, even if you're not happy, I shouldn't worry too much about anyone else.)

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 23/04/2009 22:36

"most wealthy people have become that way by putting their work before everything else in their lives."

Do you think??????

OP posts:
Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 23/04/2009 22:37

I met a lady in the park today with her husband. When I ask her what he did she said he was at home with her full time as he had a private income?????!!!! What's that all about????

OP posts:
bran · 23/04/2009 22:38

So why didn't you marry a wealthy man if you want the house, the car and the SAHM lifestyle? Would you be prepared to leave your DH (whom you presumably love) if a wealthy man turned up and offered you everything you wanted. If not, then why waste energy being envious.

FrayedKnot · 23/04/2009 22:40

Why would you be jealous of someone who drives a Porsche 4x4?

llareggub · 23/04/2009 22:40

Of course some people marry into wealth on purpose. People have been arranging marriages on this basis for centuries.

bran · 23/04/2009 22:42

It's my experience that most wealthy people work all hours, not because they particularly want or need more money but because they are workaholics. Of course that could be my experience because of the area that I live in and the people that I mix with. If I lived somewhere like the Cotswolds then I would probably have a different view of wealthy people.

goodnightmoon · 23/04/2009 22:42

i'm with the who cares camp. some will have sought it out, others will have stumbled into it.

what i find offensive, and posted on here before, is the notion that (all) women choose men for their money.

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