to think some women marry into wealth on purpose!

[tryingtobemarypoppins]

I am meeting LOADS of "yummy mummy types" at the moment who have married really wealthy men, now SAHM, driving flash cars who before didn't work in higly paid jobs.....so begs the questio, did they set out to acheive this or marry for love?????

As Ormirian says it isn't exactly a new phenomenon. Jane Austen did explore this theme rather thoroughly.

If a woman chooses to follow this route and her target is happy then its a transaction pure and simple. Not overly romantic I agree but each to their own.

Money does matter. I didn't marry for money but at the same time if I am being completely honest I like the fact that my dh earns a high enough wage to enable me to work freelance and spent a lot of time with my ds. When we got together we earned pretty much the same as were both starting out in the same job. For a while I earned more than him!

Surely people marry someone who makes them happy.
Whether that is happiness because they make them laugh, or buy them £1000 handbags, it all boils down to the same thing - having someone who puts a smile on your face.

Equally, men know exactly what is going on. All the very wealthy men I have come across have that much money because they are clever and shrewd. They don't suddenly lose that ability to look after their money when they meet a pretty girl - they get their part of the deal as well.

DUH!

Just like men use their wealth to gain them a young, beautiful woman as a wife.

Who cares?

If it makes them both happy, there are much worse things in the world.

There can be love AND money!

Possibly it's the case that the men with money (self earned not inherited) have got to that level of wealth because they are bright, intelligent, have some get-up-and-go about them, are able to budget properly instead of blowing it all on crap, make shrewd judgements, wise, etc.

Those are attractive qualities in a partner, IMO, regardless of wealth.

Some men like that will want a woman who is equally bright, intelligent etc (wealthy or not), because they'd get bored with a partner who was not.

Anyway, I don't think it matters at all - what other people choose their partners on the basis of is no consequence to me, plus I care not a fig what other people have - I'm perfectly happy with my lot (not a porche/4X4 driver but comfortably off) and that suits me fine

Who cares if they inherited it, though?

I worked for a wealthy man who, at the age of 42, finally married for the first time. He married a 26-year-old who was a very lovely person, although not the brightest.

This man was very intelligent and had to use his intelligence to the max every day.

He admitted he didn't want a partner as intelligent as he was. He'd lived with one for about a decade.

He found it taxing in addition to his job.

Well, he was being honest and, in a way, I see his point myself.

At any rate, 3 years on they are happy and have a little girl and another on teh way.

Good for them both!

I am hoping my next man will be rich, im sick of going out with bums

I live in the hotbed of such marriages. You would not believe some of the couples I see at kiddie birthdays.

Just the other day, I met two seriously ugly older men married to these incredibly pretty young Russian girls. One of them spoke hardly any English. Right - a very deep love based on mutual understanding there, then

I love it Vinegar, I do think the dating the gorgeous poor artist thing is something everyone should do in their teens, I certainly did. Found him on facebook, he works in IT now lol

YANBU

I think some women marry men they find sexually attractive on purpose, too.

And some of them marry men who make them howl with laughter, and they do it quite deliberately.

I've got no idea why they all do it - I can't see the attraction in laughing a lot, having fabulous sex and lots and lots of money.

For shame, I say. Marry to be miserable, sexually frustrated and debt-ridden like the rest of us, you hussies!

Lots of people marry for money.

Lots of people marry for love.

Lots of people marry as the sex is great, they have shared interests, they get on like a house on fire, their lifestyles mesh, they are ready to settle down blah blah...

So what?

Loving the private income thing - of course some people have income from sources which mean they don't have to work.

Reading all the comments, thinking young thick blonde less well off woman, marrying older ugly man who's utterly loaded, Charles n Di anyone? Now there's a man with a private income. It's called most of Cornwall. Oh and Dartmoor. And the Scillies. And.....

Well expat, I don't care if they inherited it or not personally BUT had I not made the distinction then you can guarantee someone would have posted "but what about those who have inherited, inheriting big money doesn't take the same cunning as earning big money", or some such whatever blah comment

Of course the qualities I outlined are not inclusive to wealthy men nor are they exclusive of men who inherit, but in general, to earn big you generally got to be pretty smart (not to be confused with educated, before someone else posts about that).

My SIL did the opposite! When she met DB, he was a student and very into campaigning for Tibet and not contributing to a capitalist lifestyle. He's now (whisper) a banker. Poor SIL found the shift really hard.

Thinking some more about this, I must say there is one uncomfortable thing about marrying primarily for money; where's the line between that premise and the one of simply receiving cash for sex?

Yes poor men are attractive in your teens, now i am attracted to men who are sucessful, and that usually equals money, i want someone who can afford to go halfs on a nice weekend away in the sun, not some bum who spends saturdays down the betting shop

I wouldnt marry a poor man, not because i want him for his money, because he wont be able to spend his money doing nice things with me

people marry for many reasons.love,companionship,have children.up to them.frankly it is hard looking in on someone else marriage and assuming if he is prosperous she is gold digger

cant stand the label yummy mummy either.so contrived

dont care why other people marry

only thing I have come across that made me slightly uncomfortable was a group of ex-pats who asked my friend why she bothered to study for a career: why not just do what they were doing and marry some rich old man who would leave her comfortably off

My sister married a poor man and they have a whale of a time - on her money (she is very well paid and sees it as their money, anyway).

They are happy as larry.

She has a very stressful job involving loads of travelling and loves the fact her DH is a calm sort who keeps the home fires burning, because she spent years returning to an empty house when she was single and then again when she was attached but to a workaholic.

I have a friend who played with ta career in her 20's because she was told by her parents she would surely get snapped up by a wealthy type, being pretty and all.

She's in her mid 30's now and has not been snapped up by a wealthy type as yet. No career either, sadly.

A good point to continue always trying to progress and develop yourself (whether that be career, serious hobby or education) instead of stagnating expecting something to drop into your lap.

hello?! of course they do - the fools!

A good friend is going through a divorce, not of his choosing, because although rich, his life is unexciting and his soon-to-be-ex is bored.

essentially no woman should assume a man will provide

get a career.means of being financially independent and solvent. maintain some autonomy.

then if it goes tits up you can support yourself

IMO the trick is to earn your own cash.

If you then end up marrying someone wealthy, then all the better.

I would hate to feel that I was not capable of looking after myself.

Plus I would argue that apart from teh super-rich, who often seem to go fof the trophy wife type, most simply rich people marry people similar to themselves. So tbe best way to marry a man with a good career is to have one yourself, and the best way to marry a man with independent wealth ie inherited is to have that yourself.

It is fairly unusual for people to marry people who are wildly different to them in terms of background, ambition, intelligence etc.

Too right, scottishmummy. This is what I keep grinding into dd although she's only 8. I didn't marry for money but I did choose a career that only very few people succeed at, and most of them are male: photojournalism.

i was brought up to stick in at school and be financially independent.forge my own path

well I think a lot of people factor in the question of wealth/income/lifestyle when they consider getting married amongst many other considerations. You can be all starry eyed and in love and that's fine but you also have to consider what it will be like living with someone 10 years later and what daily life will be like. Some women would be apprehensive about having dc if the family income was below a certain level etc.

I have met some gold-digger types who quite obviously married forthe money and were never in love with their partner but seem to cope with the dh they have and that man seems happy so I suppose it works for a lot of people. Bit like arranged marriages in the past I suppose.

I think I should have married into great wealth, I would have been good at that life but as it happens I didn't. I would at least have to like the person if not love them and I couldn't marry somehow I found physically a total turn-off tbh