Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think some women marry into wealth on purpose!

170 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins · 23/04/2009 22:15

I am meeting LOADS of "yummy mummy types" at the moment who have married really wealthy men, now SAHM, driving flash cars who before didn't work in higly paid jobs.....so begs the questio, did they set out to acheive this or marry for love?????

OP posts:
ABetaDad · 24/04/2009 16:30

ChocfridgeCake - in a way you are right. All some blokes want is to marry 'the prettiest girl in the class' and are happy to 'provide' for them. It bolsters their ego. It is a very traditional way of viewing marriage - but I do think the blokes were conned in the cases I spoke about. They married a pretty girl and wanted to make her happy and that is not a bad thing. They did not think it through and got taken advatage of. Bad judge of character yes, a bit naieve and insecure, but not really shallow.

Not all blokes of course were taken advantage of. I now one rich bloke with 2 ex wives, a wife and 2 semi-professional mistresses on the go. Deserves to live in purgatory as far as I am concerned.

twinsetandpearls · 24/04/2009 17:26

No sorrento I am not a fool thanks I can give my dd everything she needs financially. She has 2 parents that contribute to her financial welfare why does she need 3. I also don't want my family living off his unethical wage

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 24/04/2009 17:36

Abetadad: but it might be part of the dea lfor those blokes - they have 'bought' a pretty woman and as long as the pretty woman stays pretty and sucks cock on demand, they are not bothered about her bitching to her mates.

Tortington · 24/04/2009 17:42

knowing about life what i know now, i would certainly definatley truly uniquivocally have factored money into a relationship. not so that i could sit on my arse giving blow jobs, just so life wasn't so goddam hard financially.

FrannyandZooey · 24/04/2009 17:45

i chose a partner who i thought would be a good all round spouse, and that included being a good provider as well as a good parent, good friend and good partner to me

i know this isn't generally thought of as socially acceptable - to calmly choose who you think will be a good catch - but I have chosen many many partners in the past just on the basis that i was madly in love with them and my god have i been hurt, betrayed and fucked up by it

this way seems to have worked a bit better tbh

FrannyandZooey · 24/04/2009 17:47

btw we are not wealthy!

wolfnipplechips · 24/04/2009 18:14

I think its a bit judgey pants to think they married for money alone.

I started a thread yesterday about my Dh ageing better than I and i'm sure many times after i had given birth people asked what i guy like him was doing with a girl like me, not for my money i can tell you.

Before i met my Dh and for a long time after i had a suitor/friend who was absolutely loaded and used to look after me really well. If ever i was down about anything he would whisk me out for dinner buy me little presents. Nothing ever happened between us but i often wished i was attracted to him. He has a very lovely girlfriend now who is way above him in terms of looks but they are genuinely compatible. She has a very lovely life now and he truly adores her.

I on the other hand married a poor but handsome guy who i had unbelievable chemistry with, i am sometimes insecure although he gives me no reason to be were frequently broke for a long time . I love my Dh but i can see how my life would have been alot easier if i'd of gone down the other route.
My BF is the most stunning creature and her Dh is very unattractive she has been with him since he was a student, i was with her the day they met and she thought he was the sexiest man on earth so who knows what others see.

scottishmummy · 24/04/2009 19:09

i am trying to erase the image of lithe sexual gymnast who can proudly boast i could sit on my arse giving blow jobs,y'all

as opposes to standing on one arse?

maybe that's why they are wealthy

KERALA1 · 24/04/2009 19:42

A friend married for money (and to be fair was frank about it). Sadly he is a real knob who was horrid to her before they married and is still horrid to her. So her family life is pretty dire and that is the environment in which she has to bring up her children. Not sure anyone is rich enough to make that a deal worth doing.

scottishmummy · 24/04/2009 19:45

no amount of money would compel me to compromise my integrity.

marrying a bawbag for money.no siree

but hey i suppose someone has to marry (and divorce) phil collins

TheProfiteroleThief · 24/04/2009 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ronaldinhio · 24/04/2009 20:00

I married for love and I'm the moneybags in our set up.
I quite like the idea that he is with me purely for my cash and may exploit him later

Yum,Yum

violethill · 25/04/2009 09:56

Haven't read whole thread, but some of the YummyMummy married to rich man types I know have very dull husbands. And they're not sexy either.

So it seems there's often a price to pay!!

I'd rather earn my own money anyway TBH. There are a few of these YummyMummy types among the parents at my dd's private school, and they actually send little invites round every so often, arranging lunches out, or 'coffee after the school drop off!'. Christ, I'd rather boil my head - what an utterly dull existence.

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 25/04/2009 10:07

"I'd rather boil my head "

OP posts:
Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 25/04/2009 10:08

..........I'd quite like one of those invitations

OP posts:
nkf · 25/04/2009 10:13

I think as a rough rule of thumb, people marry within their wealth group. Women's wealth is often derived from the men in their lives (see how many widows there are on the Sunday Times rich list.) So the daughters of high earning men marry high earning men.

violethill · 25/04/2009 10:17

Believe me marypoppins, you wouldn't.

These women are deeply dull and their life revolves around doing the school drop off, spending their husband's money on lunch and then hanging around the school gate in the afternoon hovering over their kids. It's only a small group of mums, not the majority at all, but they're a joke among other parents (and school staff ).

If I'm going to do lunch, I'd rather do it with someone who has something interesting to talk about!

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 25/04/2009 10:27

Depends on your idea of wealth tho really?

The WAG lifestyle does not appeal to me at all. But given the choice between a man with a house of his own, a farm ideally (not that I've been thinking about this) and one without, someone with a decent income (by which I mean 30 grand a year or more, not big bucks) and someone struggling - some options are more appealing than others.

I don't want to lunch, or spa, or shop.Certainly do not want a stinking death monster of a 4x4. I do want security and a safe, enjoyable lifestyle. It is, I'm told, as easy to love a rich man as a poor one

ABetaDad · 25/04/2009 10:46

violethill - I thought it was only my parents (and me) that said this:

"rather boil my head"

You weren't born and brought up near Doncaster were you - you might be a cousin?

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 25/04/2009 10:53

I've read it lots in books set in the early 1900s Betadad. A lot of the Wodehouses also told various character to "go and boil your head" didn't they as well? Enid Blyton too I think.
It's an excellent saying but makes me think of autopsies now. Too much CSI Miami

QSthevampireslayer · 25/04/2009 10:58

Do you know how long they have been married?
Were they in fact students when they met and fell in love, or early on in his/their careers?

If so, congratulate these women on standing by and see their husbands careers and wealth develop. Behind every successful man, there is very ofen a very good wife/teamplayer.

How do you know their wealth doesnt originate with the womans family?

Judy1234 · 25/04/2009 11:47

Since I divorced 6 years ago (and had to pay my lower earning husband nearly £1m and nearly 60% of our assets as a pay off) I've been out with some very wealthy men (and poor ones) but if I'm not attracted to them then I don't want them, even the one who was about to pay his wife £12m on their divorce settlement. I don't need a man for money or to keep me as I've had 5 babies already and I earn a lot myself which changes requirements. If you're just working on the till in Tesco and will never earn over £18k a year then you might well want a man just to make life easier. If you have a proper career and earn your own money it's slightly different. However even so, I still prefer someone who is kind of on a par with me because it just makes everything all round easier. You don't want to be hopping into a taxi and the man is appalled as he never takes taxis or whatever. Also always avoid someone with different views on money to you - both be mean or both be extravagant or whatever but if you differ it gets much harder. And yes I am sure a few men have been attracted to my being reasonable well off although it's less likely to be applicable that way round.

A good few men have said on dates with me that they have had it with women after their money. I've a friend who very stupidly got taken in by someone who was only just divorcing, gettnig £3m from her husband - never done a day's work in her life, chidlren both at boarding school etc etc and she snared him in and got him to put £1m into a house with her which he's now trying to get back. Thank fully he didn't marry her.

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 25/04/2009 14:10

!

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 25/04/2009 14:11

Xenia, I'll marry you!

Sorrento · 25/04/2009 14:27

Xenia where does one find these men, am thinking ahead for the DD's

Swipe left for the next trending thread