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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think MN is OBSESSED with the disgusting topic of...

523 replies

MoanyLisa · 17/04/2009 12:54

Anal sex?

Why!?

I don't get it. The other parenting site I use wouldn't ever mention it even, so are there larger member numbers here who do it, or what?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 19/04/2009 20:47

you lucky girl!

Stayingsunnygirl · 20/04/2009 11:30

I told dh about some of the more outrageous practises discussed on this thread, and the poor boy went white as a sheet. I think you've shocked him!!

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 20/04/2009 22:09

rofl sunny...

AliceMumma · 20/04/2009 22:18

Each to their own i guess..Its defnitly not for me tho!

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 20/04/2009 22:53

BoF, you should have pointed me (teehee) in this direction sooner!
My friend (honest, it was not me) had bottom sex with her boyf after years of him badgering. He promised and promised not to tell anyone, she was mortified to check his phone and see texts from his mates congratulating him on getting his "brown wings". App. brown is bottom, pink is fanjo and red wings are when the laydee is having her special time.
There may be more colours but we couldn't think of any.

BitOfFun · 20/04/2009 22:59

Blue when you encounter piles and back off, perhaps?

AnyFucker · 20/04/2009 23:01

yellow?

a Golden Shower, perhaps...

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 20/04/2009 23:03

ewwwwwwwww. Nasty girl.

Did anyone see the programme on How To Do Shagging (something like that anyway) after Grand Designs t'other day? I saw a few minutes of the bottom bit before DP made me turn over (turn over! seriously, this topic is a minefield for puns. or buns. teehee). There was a v earnest American lady instructing a couple on bottom shags via the medium of a see-through plastic blow up doll. She also advised practising on your own clenched fist with KY. I was enthralled.

AnyFucker · 20/04/2009 23:04

crikey, what side was that on ?

missed that completely...

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 20/04/2009 23:08

Five I imagine! Mean DP making me switch, didn't catch the full details.
It was brilliant though, the couple she was instructing were young, a blonde girl who was v nervous and a bloke so keen he almost waggled his head off every time the American lady showed him something. The girl kept bringing up (perfectly valid IMHO)points about hygiene, stretching, where the (ahem) deposits go etc but the teacher shot her down in flames every time. Meanwhile her beloved was having to sit on his hands he was so keen.

BitOfFun · 20/04/2009 23:16

< goes to check demandfive >

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 20/04/2009 23:19

Do, it was called something like "How to do sex". Cept they may have put it better.

The see through plastic doll was very educational however. That would put anyone off.

BitOfFun · 20/04/2009 23:26

Havent found it yet...have just been pondering with DP whether practising with a clenched fist means a) trying to insert one up your own arse (my idea), or b) squeezing a cock through a fist (his)...the jury is out

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 20/04/2009 23:29

Sorry, I was not explaining well.
American lady clenched her fist then inserted lubed fingers in the side, along the inside of the fist. Then she showed how many fingers she could do that with - which did not strike me as accurately showing how the same thing with a bottom really.
Nothing to do with fisting or putting willies into hands. She may have gone on to that though, who knows what I missed?

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 20/04/2009 23:32

Right am off to bed. Thoroughly put off any bottom action though.

BitOfFun · 20/04/2009 23:35

Having been browsing demand five, I am at a loss wheter it could be:

Police Interceptors

Britain's Strongest Man

Behind Closed Doors

The Big Stunt Show

Extreme Fishing

Dangerous Adventures for Boys

Top Trumps

Unbreakable

How Do They Do It,

or the odds-on favourite...

Party Poker

BitOfFun · 20/04/2009 23:39

Or perhaps Fist Of Fury? I do hope not...

TheLadyEvenstar · 20/04/2009 23:51

roflmao this thread is great...now where is the rota for bum sex chats? and when is it my turn sounds like fun

talking about it i mean not doing it cos i would not

lou33 · 21/04/2009 00:01

maybe the fact about anal sex fell out of a fortune cookie?

i dont see what the problem is with it, i like a bit of the back door being kicked in from time to time

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/04/2009 00:09

Lou, i don't think many see the problem with it lol...only the OP seems to be a bit anal about the whole situation....

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 21/04/2009 09:59

Ohhhhhh The Lady and lou, read back, read back. It's a dastardly trick.

BoF, that reminds me of a book I read once, just a novel and I can't remember anything about the plot other than the heroine used to "collect" bum sex sounding film names. I think it was an India Knight one? Films like Backdraft, Dark Passage, They Came From Behind, that kind of thing.
Party Poker indeed (snorts)

lou33 · 21/04/2009 11:17

yes i saw it was a joke, but there are lots of people who think its wrong,i was just saying i didnt think it was

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 21/04/2009 21:05

oh...I have just been snorting into my wine at the thought of that "Educational Programme" .......

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