To be pissed off by the sleeping rough, drunk people

[fleurlechaunte]

who accost me for spare change whenever I walk down the road with my two small children in tow. This happens at least 3 times a week.

I don't mean to generalise here and I know there are real genuine hard luck stories out there but these people do my head in.

If I have any spare change I will be spending it on my children thank you, not on your next Can of Special Brew or a contribution to your next wrap of Brown. Ask the single person in the smart suit or the well dressed young men coming out of the expensive bars that may be able to afford to help you out. Not a single mum with two small kids, pushing a falling to bits buggy.

Well am I?

In India women do awful things to children and babies in order to attract money from the richer sections of society. Breaks your heart to see such desperation and utter poverty.

YABU, Op.

The only awful thing is that people are sleeping rough and in poverty in the UK.

There are certain groups that MUST not be criticised on MN and homeless people are one of them.

Imagine if all this support and worthiness actually extended to RL there would be no need for posts like mine at all would there?

that was nearly me.

In fact,, if I hadn't had the misfortune to be pregnant and not an addict at the time I was made homeless, it would have been me.

I always give them change if I have it, and I am a single mother of two as well. Because it could so easily have been me. I actually don't care if they spend it on smack, it's one less trick they'll have to turn tonight, isn't it?

Fleur - you're pissing in the wind. They have completely jacked your thread to beat their own drum. You feel uncomfortable about being asked for money by drunks=heartless compassionless bitch.

YANBU

AGAIN - where in any of my posts have I been critical of homelessness or addiction? I am just slightly unsympathetic on some days thats all. So sue me.

"it irritates me when people put their addictions first in any walk of life"

is what I was referring to.

There was a time in the late 80s that it became unbearable in London. There were agressive beggers everywhere I lived, worked and socialised. I lived in Holloway, worked in Archway and went out in Soho and Camden. But there were also a lot of very young homeless people. I used to give out fags (imagine that now!) to the kids and kept about a fiver in coins to give out. I used to say hi and smile as well. I knew that the money would go on whatever but it was fecking cold out there.

I have been homeless myself and yes some people do 'choose' to sleep rough. But the choice is not exactly a free one. Hostels are dangerous, unhealthy places. A lot of ex forces cannot stand to be cooped in noisy, violent places.

BUT it is not nice to be accosted in an agressive manner. But if someone just asks you it doesnt take much to say 'No sorry'.

When I was a single skint mum of two I didnt seem to get asked much.

Fucking hell..

If you are that bothered, cross the fucking road. Or walk a different way.

But what exactly is to criticise about homeless people?

My Mom used to buy a young girl who she saw sleeping rough on the way to work a hot drink and a toasted teacake every day, and Mom reads the Daily Mail

Well, she did at the time but we have weaned her off that now.

I do understand that you want to protect your DC, but unfortunately we cannot sanitise the outside world for our children, no matter how unpalatable we may find certain people/situations.

Just keep walking then if you feel uncomfortable. End of. You did post in AIBU about being PISSED OFF though. Not unsympathetic some days....

I know Fairynufff, it has taken on a life of its own, with no-one actually reading or understanding what I am saying. I may have to name change as I will forever be known as the unsympthetic, homelessness hating Fleur, which couldn't be further from the truth.

As it happens I was homeless for three months on a succession of sofas etc, it was a scary time but at no time would I have felt comfortable approaching a scruffily dressed, knackered looking mum with two small kids, one with a disability in order to ask her to contribute to my next glass of Pinot Grigio and thats that.

If they were asking aggressively or harrassing you the YANBU, however the tone of your post suggests YAB a little U. Who's to say the suited guys are rolling in it and have "spare" money? They could be wearing their only smart set of clothes travelling to and from hostel accommodation to the first job they've ever managed to hold down because of lifes various adversities. You never can tell it's a silly argument.

However as KnickKnack has said earlier on in the thread ther is a crustie/new age/traveller scene in which there is an element of choice about their lifestyle and this is particularly prevalent in towns in the south east/west during summer places like Glastonbury/Bath etc. I don't know where they go in the winter. In Hulme in Manchester there is a crusty population than squats in council falts in a particular estate and organises lots of free parties, and TBH sometimes they can be quite intimidating and menacing.

Some of the beggars at the top of Oxford Rd in M/CR are very aggressive and will mug people, I'm very wary of them and it pays to be on your guard when out in the city centre at night, and despite their problems I don't think this sort of behaviour is ever acceptable. I've also been mugged by a homeless person at 41 weeks pg with dd , an opportunistic crime.

I've never given them money, when I smoked I gave them cigs (waits to be judged) now I'll buy the Big Issue or buy them a brew. Does piss me off though when I buy a Big Issue and they try and beg more money from you, however the Big issue sellers are very tightly rule bound and most are polite and friendly.

Well it does Surfermum. My ex constantly put his drinking before his family. I have actual experience of it.

I really think your DS disability has got fuck all to do with your lack of compassion. Maybe you should stop mentioning it? Its irrelevant.

But you don't know shit all about these people, their presumed addictions or anything?

maybe, fleur, it was not about what you said, but how oyu said it. and that is why people are getting the wrong end of the stick? being unsympathetic some days is different to being pissed off about drunk homeless people...

well frankly any "fuck the wino dossers" sentiment was understandably not going to be well received

this isn't about any MN orthodoxy ganging up on fleurlechaunte.it is about her odd post.hey don't ask me i haven't got a pot to piss in but do ask the loaded women falling out of expensive bars.what?

would have thought perhaps being skint,would have evoked some compassion for someone else really down on their luck.

you are presuming that the people who are homeless, penniless, not sleeping well, possibly unwell, aswell as intoxicated or drugged, have the cognitive ability to decide who is a good choice to ask for money

i thikn that is an unreasonable assumption

you are not being singled out

In Denver it used to be legal for people to stand in central reserves and beg from people in their cars.

There was this one chap who carried a sign that read, 'Why lie? I need money for beer and cigarettes.'

He was the one who usually raked in the most .

fleur - I'm off but don't name change. You don't need to worry about what people know you as - I'm sure some of these people just deliberately post things like "I give all my spare change and a warm hug to every single homeless person that ever crosses my path because I'm so filled to the brim with compassion unlike you...blah de blah" just to bait the OP.

YANBU

You put "fuck the wino dossers" in quotation marks Scottishmummy, somewhat misleading. Perhaps you could search my posts and find something I may have posted that is anything like that because I can't seem to remember it.

A good businessman

Oh alright, alright, you have converted me, I am off to count out my change pot in order to have a ready supply of "spare change". I can afford about one pence per person who asks. Once they have asked me a hundred times (and they will) they will be able to purchase a can, but hey at least I am showing sympathy.