To be pissed off by the sleeping rough, drunk people

[fleurlechaunte]

who accost me for spare change whenever I walk down the road with my two small children in tow. This happens at least 3 times a week.

I don't mean to generalise here and I know there are real genuine hard luck stories out there but these people do my head in.

If I have any spare change I will be spending it on my children thank you, not on your next Can of Special Brew or a contribution to your next wrap of Brown. Ask the single person in the smart suit or the well dressed young men coming out of the expensive bars that may be able to afford to help you out. Not a single mum with two small kids, pushing a falling to bits buggy.

Well am I?

I feel very refreshed and faith restored in MN by some of the more recent posts. Those who saw what I was actually trying to say and didn't just perceive a negative reference to homelessness and grab the nearest pitchfork, as happens with monotonous regularity on AIBU.

As I said previously there are certain things that just cannot be talked about in a balanced way on MN.

I was only trying to help cat.

FWIW being told by you to piss off has upset me. I'm still unsure as to whether that was your intention or what the hell you're on about.

I came on this thread to support the OP as I thought she was getting a pasting which wasn't warranted, having first checked it wasn't a topic which pushes my buttons.

I will go now thanks for your input.

crankytwanky Interesting about that rule, can you tell me what you know about it?

I seem to have been asked a whole lot more since I became a parent from a whole variety of people - from passive, quiet sitters right up to one incident where someone actually opened with "Come here love" to my 5 year old and grabbed her arm. (alpha lioness came out THAT day...)

Shambolic. Thank you, I saw that and appreciated it loads.

I think that Cat is saying something similar in that some things cannot be discussed on MN etc without it going horribly pearshaped and losing sight of the real discussion. Tbh I don't quite get it either (no offence Cat). Don't think you should tell her to piss off though Cat, I got nothing negative from Shambolics posts towards you. She sounds lovely.

Havent read through the whole thing but i agree with the op, not far from me is a group of homeless men who constantly harass passers by for spare change. Usually they are the worse for wear and are often clutching a can of special brew.I always refuse and strongly resent being asked to fund their drinking habit , especially when my children are with me.
Also they are moved on regularly as the by laws state that begging is not allowed .I too have been accosted several times in the last month and feel more than pissed off about it.

I was going to post but, on reflection, I can't be bothered. Some people are too wrapped up in themselves. Look at the wood, not the trees. Oh, there, I've posted after all.

i can understand the annoyance but then just walk on by

i do and have helped where possible even by just giving them food rather than money

it is annoying to most people but to them its a way of life and if they didn't then they wouldn't live the odd few pennies help

i know they would probably buy drink but they have a rough time on the streets they cant work as have no fixed address wont be given a chance as live on the streets

my son when he is old enough will come to a soup kitchen to help out with me as i think its great to show him humanity and kindness he loves to put his pennies in peoples boxes when playing instruments

and i like to help where possible no matter how small but obviously cannot help everybody

if you cant give anything or don't want to just smile and apologize that you have nothing as after all there still human beings and deserve kindness and respect no matter what there situation they were not always like that and probably not all of them put themselves on the street or chose to live that way circumstances in life did that

and we should not judge yes be annoyed but never presume you know why there , there as its not always the case

i'll tell you a story i when younger was on holiday and there was a homeless man we knew them as tramps then and he would sit in the same place every day

anyway no one spoke to him everyone ignored him

one day i sat with him and bought him some chips we spoke and he was really pleasant and was really nice to speak to

i used to see him every day when he was there and really enjoyed his company as he did me we would speak about family and what he used to do etc

anyway came to the end of my holiday and i wanted to say goodbye and he wasn't there i got really upset as didn't want him to think i didn't care by just never coming back

anyway i was sitting on the bench upset and he walked along all smart and big smile and sat with me i was very shocked but he said he wanted to come and say goodbye to me and to thank me that out of all the people who went past him every day i never judged him and made him feel like a normal human being and showed so much kindness beyond my years

he was in fact a real high flyer who had enough of people taking advantage of his money etc and wanted to find out how people would be with him if he had none and i was the only one who had a smile and showed kindness he made me promise i would never lose this

he said even if you cant give somebody something a smile can brighten up anyone's day

this is why i feel so strong and want to help where possible as that day really marked a point in my life that was so special

but he also got to know others and there circumstances and had actually started to work with them to try and make a difference to give more opportunities

anyway just wanted to share that story as if it makes one person think differently then its worth it

What a lovely story bubblagirl! I don't mind helping out people if i can. A few years ago i was a bit shocked to see an old lady living in a "box" near the Aust services by the old Severn Bridge.
Turned out to be an Eastern European woman who had been dumped by the side of the road and she was trying to make her way to London.
I dropped off some food for her, not much biscuits, loaf of bread and over the next few weeks lots of locals gave her stuff as well.
The police were aware and were trying to find somewhere in London for her to stay, but she did not want to come out of her "box" until she knew they were going straight to London.
Anyway, she managed to get to London just before Xmas.

I've come back to this one, not to reactivate but to say NO NO NO NO I was NOT saying "piss off" to any one.

Simply that the replies to ME when (ON REQUEST) I had taken the trouble to explain my position come across as crude slap downs.

EG:

"Taxi for catinthehat, it's time to go now, there's a love." just reads to me as an unattractive way of saying "Piss off Cat I don't want to hear what you are saying"

Got it? (I'm sure most of you did!)

The End, you can go now.

I find beggars generally less annoying than chuggers and leafletters: beggars don't dance about in your way or thrust things at you.

Knickknack, I also lived in Cambridge for a while as a student at the the art college. One of my projects was based on the homeless there and by sitting and talking to them I soon got to know some great guys. Changed my opinion on people living on the streets forever, I can tell you. I rarely met a person who was able to live in a house - one guy had had a terrible start in life and was on the run after getting into trouble in Manchester, another was a scientist who was obviously scizophrenic but refused to be diagnosed - he taught me a lot about astrophysics, I can tell you - he also was scared of having a roof over his head hence living on the streets. Another guy - who must have been in his seventies, earned money by playing the spoons and had done for years - he didn't want a home as he had no family - his only family were the people he shared the doorway with at night. They all drank thunderbird and special brew, hardly ate a thing and yes, asked everyone for money - but until you've heard their stories try not to judge.

Solidgold - agree, nearly had a punch up with someone trying to ram a raffle ticket for some obscure charity down my throat yesterday.

Fleurie - you have a family and a roof over your head- you also don't have to give them money. As much as you sound like a trooper for what you've been through, can you honestly say that the majoriety of people hassling you really want to do so? Its the most humiliating thing a person can do.

Apologies, for the number of I can tell you's - sound like a crap stand up comedian. I should read what I bloody write before I post