To be pissed off by the sleeping rough, drunk people

[fleurlechaunte]

who accost me for spare change whenever I walk down the road with my two small children in tow. This happens at least 3 times a week.

I don't mean to generalise here and I know there are real genuine hard luck stories out there but these people do my head in.

If I have any spare change I will be spending it on my children thank you, not on your next Can of Special Brew or a contribution to your next wrap of Brown. Ask the single person in the smart suit or the well dressed young men coming out of the expensive bars that may be able to afford to help you out. Not a single mum with two small kids, pushing a falling to bits buggy.

Well am I?

If you read my post you will see that I make suggestions for alternative people they could ask. Don't have problem with the begging, just ask those without small, dependant children.

There but y the grace of God go I.....

Desperation pushes many people to do anything for a few quid, begging included.

A lot of these people are men, single men with no job. Do you know how hard it is get housed as a single man in the very doldrums of poverty ? The state won't house you. You are the lowest 'need' category and therefore will languish at the bottom of housing lists for years on end. So you end up on mates sofas etc until something comes up. They get fed up of you and you run out of sofas. Without a permanent address you can't get a job or dole. You fall off societies radar.

People on the street are vulnerable, drunk or not.

Many of our homeless are ex servicemen who have been demobbed and found themselves adrift in the civvy world, often trying to cope with having seen terrible things and the scars that has left on their mental health. Physical assualts on the homeless by the non homeless general public are enormously common too. It is a tragic, frightening life.

Christ knows if I had to live the life the homeless do, I'd probably drink or get smacked off my tits to block out the horror of my situation being treated with such disdain by my fellow man.

If you don't want to give to them that is your prerogative but please remember that they are still people.

You had bucketloads of compassion but now you have children and that's all old hat?

I should add, there was quite a big tavelling/homeless/crustie/new-age thing in Cambridge, it was a very definate destination as a place to spend a few months every year, especially in the summer.
I have no idea re:homelessness in London etc and dont mean to compare the too!

i dont give money, but if asked i would offer a butty or a cup of tea

My x was in the pub once and gave a homeless woman a fiver, she raved about how generous he was then she pretended to drop a coin on the floor and when he bent to pick it up for her ran of with his nearly full pint .

My compassion is currently reserved for my children, I am sure it will come seeping back when they are not quite so dependent on me or my circumstances change.

Not everyone with small, dependent children can't or don't give money to the homeless though. So whilst you may prefer them to stick to your list of 'alternatives', I am still quite happy to be asked. I will give, when I can.

fleurchaunte - I see you are not going to get much sympathy tonight. We've got the let's-just-polarise-the-thread brigade in. If you are watching every spare penny yourself, as a sensible mother with kids would, you are not going to have 'spare change' 3 times a week just to give to willy nilly drinkers in the streeet. It would soon mount up. If they walked in your shoes, and were honest, it would piss them off eventually too. Don't tell me they're all homeless charity workers telling you YABU.

The holier than thou attitudes on here really make me giggle.

"If you don't want to give to them that is your prerogative but please remember that they are still people."

Thanks for that I might have forgotten if you hadn't reminded me.

I UNDERSTAND, I sympathise, I have worked extensively with homeless people but I don't like people who look at me and dc and just see a few quid. I have children, they are more deserving, sorry but they are.

By fleurlechaunte on Tue 31-Mar-09 20:08:08
BTW before I became a single, skint mother I worked with a Mental Health and Homelessness team in London and had bucketloads of compassion.

Kids come first thats all and it irritates me when people put their addictions first in any walk of life.

FGS

Of course your kids come first and nobody is suggesting that you should be taking food from your kids and distributing to the poor and needy. Somebody asking you a 15 second question 3 times a week in front of your kids is not exactly putting them at risk or somehow making you put their needs in front of those of your children. Use the situation to educate your kids about homelessness issues or just cross the flippin street to avoid the beggar if you must.

Compassion isn't limited. You can put your childrens' needs first but still have compassion for them. There's nothing wrong with saying "sorry I have no money to give you".

I must say I'm pretty shocked that you worked in the mental health and homeless field and had the attitude you have to addictions. That must have made the job hard for you.

Thank you Fairynufff, I wonder if any of them are actually reading the thread thoroughly. There are just some things you cannot say on MN.

i think that if i was sleeping on the streets in the bitter cold and getting the general public look at me like I was a turd I'd be inclined to get steaming drunk on a regular basis too - how else would someone deal with that day in day out without a bit of happy oblivion?

i think if you are desperate, begging, no home, no bed, no warm clothes, you are not going to vet every potential person who walks past, you are begging

you can so no politely.

being irritated by those less fortunate is a luxury

"If I have any spare change I will be spending it on my children thank you, not on your next Can of Special Brew or a contribution to your next wrap of Brown"

Pretty dehumanising, dontcha think ?

Surfermum - that is most likely word for word what she says fgs. What do you think she does - spits on them?

That is directed at fleurchaunte, BTW.

I don't know if I am believing this..

I have children, and have regularly bought the big issue, even when my children were in a buggy/pram, i have bought sandwiches, drinks etc for those who need, i gave a massive bag of DSs outgrown clothes, nappies and formula to the woman selling the big issue in town.

i am not wealthy

but that person needed that stuff more than me

and i hope if i needed something, karma would look kindly on me

Figment, THEY are asking me to put their needs in front of my kids. Why would someone with small children have "spare" change to help them with their habits. Ask someone else is all I am saying.

but to show you some compassion fleur - yes it would annoy me if it was several times a week and I had ill enough money to give my kids treats.....although I suppose you could feel a little sorry for them?.......(the homeless i mean)

It's pretty obvious how limited your compassion is.

I hope your children never need help from strangers in the street.

I'm sure they do ask others.

if you cannot afford to give, don;t give

or give food or something else, so it does not go towards drugs or alcohol