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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to hear how horrible childbirth is every 5 minutes!!!

111 replies

girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 21:49

Im sick of this.

In the supermarket..."oh your not giving birth there..left me in my own blood for 12 hours...its the worst pain ever...take all the drugs!!

My best friend today, "oh you wont enjoy it, its awful, but you know just breath through it, I managed on just gas and air..."

People at bus stops..."oh poor you, childbirth the worst thing you will ever go through..ever...aw I feel sorry for you now!!"

I know its not going to be good but aibu to not want to heat it every 5 bloody minutes!!!!

OP posts:
aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 21:51

Hey it might be a great positive experience. I enjoyed my births (have 4 dc) and it was not at all horrific/awful.

Just tell those folk you dn't want to hear it!!

IwishIwasmorechocolatey · 29/03/2009 21:51

YANBU - I hated that too but tbh when it was my turn it was no where near as bad as everybody had made out! HTH

jollydiane · 29/03/2009 21:52

JD from mumsnet "it was easy - I have large hips and it only hurt a tiny bit at the end and the tea and toast was great"

Feel better now?

100yearsofsolitude · 29/03/2009 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clayre · 29/03/2009 21:54

everyone told me how horrendous it would be, it was like shelling peas for me!!! probably doesnt say much about me

Plonker · 29/03/2009 21:54

Just Nod, Smile and Ignore.

For some reason known only unto themselves, an extraordinary amount of mothers have to play the "I had a harder time than anyone else in childbirth" game.

I've never understood it.

Childbirth really isn't that bad ...if it was, the population would have died out a looooooong time ago ...

GypsyMoth · 29/03/2009 21:54

I've had 5 fantastic births. Especially enjoyed the last one which was a home birth! You'd not get that response from me.............it's the early pregnancy sickness that I moan about!!

stainesmassif · 29/03/2009 21:57

I posted in relation to this the other day - i was infuriated by people telling me about 'the horror' days before my due date. In the end i had an unplanned epidural and it was FANTASTIC. don't write off drugs, i say. (though i will try and go without the next time)

madlentileater · 29/03/2009 21:58

YANBU
this is some wierd female equivalent of machismo.
thing is those of us who found childbirth OK, enjoyable even, often daren't say so for fear of sounding smug/unsympathetic/lunatic.
I've had 3 labours and the worst I can call them was tedious at times. I can see that in the past when women had no idea what to expect and Drs had strange practices ...then it might have been horrible, but if you understand what's going on and trust the mws, and aren't made to lie on your back...should be OK!

MrsMattie · 29/03/2009 21:58

I don't understand why people do this to pregnant women?! Bizarre!

Congrats and enjoy...birth is a weird and wonderful experience

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 22:00

Im glad its not just me!!

childbirth does seem to be competitive.

OP posts:
plantsitter · 29/03/2009 22:01

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I hated this in the later stages of pregnancy too. I was induced and used only gas and air (for various reasons) in a maternity unit that deservedly has a really bad reputation, and you know what? It wasn't that bad.

Like 100yrs says they are just trying to show solidarity. Annoyingly, though, I agree.

stayinbed · 29/03/2009 22:05

i enojoyed all my births so much, by the time i had dd3 i couldn't wait for the labour to come on and to get to the hospital. I think i'm addicted, i can't imagine giving birth only once more so may end up with 5 dcs god bless....

helsbels4 · 29/03/2009 22:06

Don't listen to them!!!!! I've had two children and the thing that puts me off having a third (apart from the fact we can't afford it), is being pregnant, not the birth!!!! I found the births no where near as bad as people made out! Yes it hurts but it's positive and there is pain relief!!!! I had pethidine with my first (never again) and gas and air with my second, so it really isn't that bad!

2chocolateshoes · 29/03/2009 22:07

I never understood this.
why when your all excited about the ending birth do you need some silly woman telling you all about her reallllllllly long event.
I got that from a woamn I worked with.
(I stay away from anyone who asks about births as I would give them nightmares..wtf good would that do)

2chocolateshoes · 29/03/2009 22:07

pendin not ending

morningpaper · 29/03/2009 22:08

Hmm your best friend seems quite POSITIVE - if you think THAT's bad....

alicet · 29/03/2009 22:09

YANBU but get used to it!!!

Something about having a bump that seems to bring out this - i used to feel like saying 'Er what part of the fact I'm clearly going to HAVE to give birth by some bloody means makes you think I want to hear abot how shit it can be!!!?!?!' Um - it isn't always shit as people on this thread have already pointed out!

not sure if this will help as I am doing exactly what you are not unreasonably complaining about but hey ho here goes...

My ds1 was born by emergency section for foetal distress. So totally not the water birth with gas and air I had envisaged. Yet undoubtedly one of the most positive experiences of my life. I cried when they told me I needed a section, I grasped dh's hand so tightly it turned white while they started as I was completely terrified, yet it was all worth it and more when i met my gorgeous perfect newborn son. Couldn't have been more positive for anything.

For me it didn't help when complete strangers piped up but it did help to research what could happen in all eventualities (dream and nightmare) as I think it then helped me to cope when it didn't go according to plan. Birth plans are all well and good but all they are is your wish in an ideal scenario. I would also include (and think about if you can face it) your wishes in a not dream scenario - you will be much better equipped to deal with it if things don't go as you hoped.

Good luck!!! x

snickersnack · 29/03/2009 22:09

dd's birth was pretty bad, but I was more than prepared to do it all over again 2 years later (when it was actually rather nice), so obviously not that bad...I do wonder about why people feel it necessary to scare pregnant women. My best friend is currently very pregnant and very nervous and keeps asking me how it's going to be and I sort of nod vaguely and say "you'll be fine, it's fine, really". Too late for her to turn back now, and what's the point of scaring her witless?

chegirl · 29/03/2009 22:11

Why do women of all ages and classes do this to each other? Why?

I know quite a few women who are terrified of giving birth. Absolutly terrified. They have been scared wittless by women going on about how awful their births were. Its like some sort of blood sport in my part of east london - see how much you can scare the bejazeers out of the mum to be!

Often the women that go on about it the most are the ones with 6 kids! FFS if it were that bad they wouldnt have done it again would they?

Yes it does hurt. Yes it can be scary. But you DO forget all that when you have your baby.

I know some women do have lasting emotional problems from having trumatic births but they are in the minority. I think these are the women who would be least likely to regail you with horror stories TBH.

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 22:12

Someone asked if I was scared the other day..

Eh yea...

And your 12 hours in your own blood story did not help!!!

Nice to there are positive stories even when things dont go to plan.

OP posts:
oneplusone · 29/03/2009 22:14

I was actually glad i heard some horror stories before i had my first as i was prepared for it to be the "worst pain i have ever felt in my life" and it actually wasn't half as bad as i was expecting.

Surely it's better for it to be better than you're thinking rather than worse?!

luckylady74 · 29/03/2009 22:15

They don't want you to be scared they want you to be prepared.
I rang my best friend when ds1 was hours old and said 'why didn't you warm me?' and she said she had, but I ignored her.
I believe information is empowering and listening to all these experiences will allow you to be in control mentally and that will enrich as well as inform your experience. Sorry to be pofaced about it, but you did ask.

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 22:15

I guess so oneplusone,

But im a wimp.

OP posts:
alicet · 29/03/2009 22:16

see in principle I agree with you luckylady but i think you can get this from asking people you trust and reading up about things rather than having to put up with complete strangers tellin you on public transport when you are trying to concentrate on something else!