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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to hear how horrible childbirth is every 5 minutes!!!

111 replies

girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 21:49

Im sick of this.

In the supermarket..."oh your not giving birth there..left me in my own blood for 12 hours...its the worst pain ever...take all the drugs!!

My best friend today, "oh you wont enjoy it, its awful, but you know just breath through it, I managed on just gas and air..."

People at bus stops..."oh poor you, childbirth the worst thing you will ever go through..ever...aw I feel sorry for you now!!"

I know its not going to be good but aibu to not want to heat it every 5 bloody minutes!!!!

OP posts:
vezzie · 29/03/2009 23:18

My first is due in 3 weeks and I went out for a goodbye lunch with my workmates this week. I actually wanted to get up and leave because the shrieking of the nastiest most humiliating and gory anecdotes they had about childbirth were so embarrassing. Everyone was looking over at us while things like, "so the MW was like, everyone has seen your fanny now, love" were being bellowed out by these people. And I was the heavily pregnant one sat in the middle blushing.

None of them has given birth. These are all second or third hand stories. But oh yes they are all fucking experts.
The only people there who had been at a birth were two fathers, who were quiet.

So no, OP, we don't need it. Like chegirl says there is a difference between someone who knows telling you stuff for your information and a bunch of crude sensationalist harpies making prurient entertainment out of it all.

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 23:33

Aw vezzie thats awful.

Your just a week behind me.

Kinda exciting yet worrying all at once!

OP posts:
vezzie · 29/03/2009 23:52

pity you have to give birth at the end of pregnancy when you are knackered, I was fit as a fiddle 9 months ago - why couldn't I have got it out of the way then? good luck girly

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 23:55

Could not agree more!

Good luck to you to

OP posts:
thumbbunny · 29/03/2009 23:58

no YANBU - but everyone's experience is different and you might be one of the lucky ones so just smile sweetly at them and let it go.

If you are at all worried about it (and I confess to not having read all the thread ) then I recommend hypnobirthing as a very good way of removing any anxiety - I had terrible birth fear before I did the hypnobirthing and it made a huge difference. I didn't have a pain-free birth but it was not awful, and stage 2 pretty much happened by itself over half an hour, so I was very happy with the outcome.

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 30/03/2009 00:00

Thanks for that.

I am worried, and I keep meaning to get a hypnobirthing cd but I keep putting it off.

However time is ticking by and I need to do it soon!!

OP posts:
kickassangel · 30/03/2009 00:00

i decided that either i'd cope & it'd be ok, or i wouldn't and there'd be drugs.

it helps to know some medical facts, so that you understand what's happening, but it's a bit like when you take your driving test, and people regale you with endless stories of 'friends' who crashed the car during their test. doesn't mean it will happen to you.

thumbbunny · 30/03/2009 00:04

really, I would do it. I had 4 1-to-1 sessions with my "trainer", and then a 5th one when I went overdue as I started to get nervous again - the CD she gave me was excellent at putting me to sleep every night as well!!

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 30/03/2009 00:09

Dont think i could afford sessions but budget will stretch to a cd, I only have like 16 days left till due date though!

Im going for the whole there will be drugs thing to (much to many peoples disgust )

OP posts:
thumbbunny · 30/03/2009 00:17

If your budget can manage just one session, you will get the CD anyway and the first session was the most important from my POV for the fear removal. The longer you have the CD, the better I think. Good luck with it!

And don't worry about the drugs thing - I always said I would take and do whatever I felt I needed to at the time - and had pethidine, although am not convinced it made any difference!

Grendle · 30/03/2009 00:33

YANBU

Take a hypnobirthing course .

I enjoyed dd's birth and although bits of the labour were a little uncomfortable, there was no actual pain. Childbirth needn't be awful .

happyjules · 30/03/2009 00:52

Birth? for me it's a case of what's the problen. Gas and air - who needs it just just give me a pool (birthing) soft lights and nice music.
Just gimmee the paracetamol when it gets to the after pains!
I loved giving birth both times and I know it doesn't always go as planned but it isn't always like it is on the tv.
Stay cool

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 30/03/2009 10:32

drugs are FAB! I had gas and air and I joke that I got pregnant again just so I could have some more

Seriously though - it's good to go into it with eyes wide open. I think people who have no idea what to expect can have more of a problem with it.

Monkeyandbooba · 30/03/2009 10:36

I had two fantastic experiences - 2 home water births Loved labour and birth, DD was long (28 hrs) but very manageable and DS only took 2.5hrs and I didn't believe I was in established labour until I started pushing. Didn't really hurt more intense sensations.

I don' talk about my experiences much as no-one ever believes you when you say it wasn't that bad

Notquitegrownup · 30/03/2009 10:43

When people are depressing, just check how many have more than one child. If it was that bad, they wouldn't have done it again.

Childbirth is a huge adventure. Ofen painful, often joyful, often both. Make the most of it, enjoy falling in love with your lo [very jealous emoticon] then you too can haunt bus stops, or MN, for the next 20 years, sharing your experiences . . . .

qwertpoiuy · 30/03/2009 11:04

Never had a natural childbirth, was so prepared for one with my first pregnancy. I attended every ante-natal class, read lots of books, bought oils and a tens machine.

I'd only ever heard negative stories about CSections - you're in severe pain for months, you can't lift the baby, you may start bleeding and could end up needing a hysterectomy, the baby and/or mother could die. Those were some of the stories I heard or read about CS's, and one can just imagine how scared I was when things weren't going well and I was told I needed to go for an emergency CSection - I went hysterical. But I knew baby's life was in danger if I didn't have it.

The experience couldn't have been more different. The Section and recovery took just over an hour. I gave myself morphine injections every 3-4 hours, and I was able to carry and breastfeed baby. After 3 days, the pain eased and I didn't need any painkillers. I was able to drive, though my insuance company required a letter from my doctor to say I was fit to drive.

I've since had 2 more CSections, and everything was fine.

I know other mother's experiences have been different to mine, but I just wanted to let OP know there will always be horror stories about every aspect of childbirth, but no two mothers are the same nor are every two childbirth stories.

I wish you all the best OP.

SummerLightning · 30/03/2009 11:12

It was the men giving me advice and going on about how much it was going to hurt that annoyed me. The women were all fine

NBM · 30/03/2009 11:34

YANBU. I have a 13 day old baby and her birth was a great experience, in fact one of the best experiences of my life.

standanddeliver · 30/03/2009 12:43

3 difficult births

All three the best days of my life

When people tell you horror stories just say - 'I can't wait to meet my baby - I'm totally up for labour, however it happens'.

Then go and do a hypnobirthing course!

Good luck!

Monkeyandbooba · 30/03/2009 14:03

Oh yes I 2nd (3rd, 4th??) the hypno-birthing course, made a massive difference second time round

NBM · 30/03/2009 14:07

Me too for hypno birthing.

Habbibu · 30/03/2009 14:08

I had to watch Deal Or No Deal during dd's birth. That's got to trump everyone's bad birth stories, surely?

Try making some up to counter - "Oh, I know - I heard of one unit that was so understaffed they were trialling robots/trained chimps as midwives etc etc".

The deal or no deal one is true, though

Salme101 · 30/03/2009 14:19

I had a delayed 2nd stage ('cos I was too relaxed, I think!), and delivery was by ventouse with episiotomy. 14 hrs from start to finish, and you know what? It was preferable to dental work, any time.

You'll have your own unique experience, so smile politely whilst mentally telling 'em all to stuff off! Good luck

Fairynufff · 30/03/2009 14:55

I was terrified to give birth. Used to burst into tears in random places when the fear got to me but I went and asked all women with kids what their worst horror stories were because I wanted to be prepared for the worst. In the end it was beautiful. I had prepared for the worst and got an EPIDURAL.

Don't go into birth "with an open mind" like all the women I know who were shocked to the core and many of them ended up with emergency cesareans... Go knowing it will hurt and prepare for it.

As the SAS say before they go into battle...prepare hard - fight easy.

Good luck!

piscesmoon · 30/03/2009 19:02

I was terrified before I gave birth-it was nothing like as bad as my imagination!

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