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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to hear how horrible childbirth is every 5 minutes!!!

111 replies

girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 21:49

Im sick of this.

In the supermarket..."oh your not giving birth there..left me in my own blood for 12 hours...its the worst pain ever...take all the drugs!!

My best friend today, "oh you wont enjoy it, its awful, but you know just breath through it, I managed on just gas and air..."

People at bus stops..."oh poor you, childbirth the worst thing you will ever go through..ever...aw I feel sorry for you now!!"

I know its not going to be good but aibu to not want to heat it every 5 bloody minutes!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 22:17

Dont be sorry!!

I would never posted here if I wanted sympathy

OP posts:
Ewe · 29/03/2009 22:18

YANBU but I think it is a necessary part of pregnancy to be honest.

My best friend didn't know anyone who had been through childbirth apart from me and I didn't regale her with my horrific labour experience and neither did any random strangers.

After she had her DS, I went to visit and the first thing she said to me was "Why didn't you tell me how fucking painful it was?! I wanted to shoot myself, why didn't you telll meee??!"

IMO, it's better to prepare for the worst and then you can only be pleasantly surprised when your birth is hopefully better than expected!

helsbels4 · 29/03/2009 22:18

That's so true oneplusone! You think it's going to be hell on earth - and I'm sure for some people it might be - but I really didn't think it was that bad, especially the second time around. That was easy compared to the first.

jollydiane · 29/03/2009 22:20

Please don't worry about it and don't spend a fortune on a labour bag. What I didn't realise is the when contractions stop the minor pain I had went. I had thought it was continuous pain.

NormaJeanBaker · 29/03/2009 22:21

I enjoyed it. First time got exhausting but not scary. Second and third time were fantastic powerful and elemental and really would have done it again next day. After a whiskey.

ScottishMummy · 29/03/2009 22:21

the childbirth gruesome bloody bleed 26litres labour for 48hrs tales

best avoided

same as the i hung from a tree upside down chanting an incantation with no analgesia

excruciatingly annoying

hf128219 · 29/03/2009 22:29

Childbirth used to be known as 'Every woman's best kept secret'

Dingbatgirl · 29/03/2009 22:30

YANBU. I remember just before giving birth for the first time hearing about 50 hour labours etc. got right fed up with it. Alot of people love to tell you their childbirth stories. No-one knows what it will be like for you.

violethill · 29/03/2009 22:32

I agree with ewe. The best advice I had was from someone who told me that the pain is unimaginable. I'm glad I went in expecting the worst - I managed on gas and air and felt fabulous afterwards!

Far better IMO than to be told it's not too bad and then end up feeling like a wimp.

I certainly got to the point where I thought dying would be preferable... but you do live to tell the tale!

piscesmoon · 29/03/2009 22:34

I wouldn't want to be pregnant again but giving birth was a wonderful experience-not to be missed.

luckylady74 · 29/03/2009 22:44

Having spoken to my 70 yr old mil who knew literally nothing about birth before she gave birth and found the whole experience horrifically scary I think the 'women's best kept secret ' days are well gone.
As every birth story is different why not listen to as many as you can?Those women that lost litres of blood and so on probably need to repeat that quite often to get through it- have a heart.
I think the fact that many women find it the most painful experience they have in their entire lives is not to be dismissed. We have to learn from others how to manage that potential experience.
I think I may just be the most self righteous person on mumsnet tonight

debs40 · 29/03/2009 22:46

Every pregnancy is different. I know women who have had three or four children and have found them all very different experiences. They have often assumed, if they were lucky enough to have so-called 'easy births' that every other birth would be the same.

It's not always the case.

I think people talk about it and how bad it is because, for some people, it is a horrible and painful experience. Things do go wrong and even when they don't, it can be long, tiring and very painful. You don't always get treated as well as you might either.

Psychologists call birth a time of transition and I think that is why it is deeply affecting.

But forewarned is forearmed. Anti-natal classes are crap and the more you know, the better you are able to cope. Alot of women find the experience stressful as it is shocking if they are not prepared for the basic

I personally get much more pissed off about the 'oops and it just popped out in the water pool' brigade as this bears so little relation to reality - but certainly keeps the anti-epidural NCT lobby alive and kicking

cory · 29/03/2009 22:48

The thing is you can't tell anyone what childbirth "is like", because childbirth is such a range of completetly different experiences.

I found what helped best was having heard lots of different stories, so I was prepared for pretty well anything.

cory · 29/03/2009 22:50

Also, all ante-natal classes are not crap. Mine were really good, and definitely helped me to be prepared.

policywonk · 29/03/2009 22:51

debs, it's not reasonable to say that someone else's experience 'bears no relation to reality'. It's not your reality - quite possibly it's not the reality of the majority - but those of us who have positive birth experiences are not making this shit up.

Prosecco · 29/03/2009 22:51

It is sorer than I expected, or indeed hoped.

But it is by far the most exciting time of your life.

Enjoy!

FlyMeToDunoon · 29/03/2009 22:52

My mother impressed upon me, from an early age, how painfull childbirth was-and she had six!
I was glad because ime it is downplayed and the emphasis put on how wonderful you will feel afterwards.
I think it is best to go into the whole thing with an open mind and to sing que sera,sera the whole time.

namedchangedtwice · 29/03/2009 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

chegirl · 29/03/2009 22:54

There is a difference between a gory tale, told with relish and a dicussion between women about childbirth.

The amount of times I have sat in a group of women while a poor, first time mum to be is going pale. It starts off with 'ooo when are you due? Is this your first? all friendly like, then they draw the poor bugger in and BLAM! They are off! Each trying to outdo the other with tales of 'nearly dying', and lying in 'pints of blood' being forgotten for 'hours and hours' etc etc.

Thats not the same as having a grown up chat about what might happen, how do deal with pain, what worked for you, what scared you etc etc.

Original poster
girlylala0807 · 29/03/2009 22:54

Lol at singing,

My dh said he heard some people moo during labour, I think he would prefer that!

OP posts:
flockwallpaper · 29/03/2009 22:58

Of course everyone's experience will be different. I found birth exhausting and I wish I'd taken more to eat in my labour bag(you will burn a helluva lot of calories) but the pain was not that hard to cope with. Finally holding my baby in my arms was the best feeling in the world. Good luck.

Dingbatgirl · 29/03/2009 23:04

Cory's made a good point about ante-natal classes. We did a course with the NCT, and it prepared us very well for what was to come.

susia · 29/03/2009 23:08

to be 100% honest I was in labour for 3 days but it wasn't painful, even when I was about 7cm dilated. The midwifes kept saying I must have a really high pain threshold but it was like waves of period pain.

but after all that time and failure to progress I had to have an emergency caesarian. That was painful afterwards and I know I didn't experience childbirth naturally so can't really comment but just to reasure you that for some people contractions aren't that bad!

kikid · 29/03/2009 23:09

I had a fantasic birth,& i am such a wimp! but i do think the antenatal classes helped.
I knew what to expect iyswim & the pain wasn't as bad as i'd imagined.
I didn't want any medical intervention & would have given birth at home, but this was a few years back & home births were not looked on as an option really..
Enjoy, yanbu.

lilacclaire · 29/03/2009 23:09

People make a point of telling you gruesome childbirth stories because the okay ones just aren't interesting enough.

Yes it hurts, but its pain with a purpose and it doesn't last forever and you get pain relief.

I found it more scary (hows that going to fit out of there type thing) than anything.

And think of all the woman that go on to do it again and again and again ..... !!