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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked and disgusted at DH and his strange sexual requests?

259 replies

CindyCrawfordsLeftLeg · 29/03/2009 13:29

DH has been suggesting we should be a bit more adventurous in bed lately.

I'm up for that, dont mind trying different positions or a bit of role play etc

last night we shared a bottle of chablis and were both a bit 'tipsy', he got a bit amorous and we headed off to the bedroom

Things were getting a bit passionate and he then tells me he has a suprise for me, he opened up the bedside table and pulled out a box, i opened it up and to my horror, pulled out a strap on rubber penis

I was too shocked to speak, just sat there amazed, he then started explaining that he wanted me to use it on HIM but first i would have to 'loosen him up' with my tongue he called it 'rimming' [disgusted]

Needless to say we had a big row, after i called him weird and freaky, he slept on the sofa, got up early and went to the office, i am expecting him back soon, but i think this is the beginning of the end, i need time to think, he is not the man i thought he was

OP posts:
Shambolic · 29/03/2009 21:19

I think it was a real post. Very real indeed.

The poster just carried out an elaborate double bluff.

suwoo · 29/03/2009 21:19

Milleniwmffalcon is that you?????????

KimiWantsAnEasterEgg · 29/03/2009 21:22

I have loved this thread, but must bid you goodnight...DP says he has something to show me!!!!!

Must work harder on poems.

BCNS · 29/03/2009 21:23

can you not just get a few dental dams..and a large box ( note I say box) of wine and go for it ?? .. could be very cool.. in the sort of way that you'd think moldy cheese would be very nasty.. but actually a bit of stilon can be very nice

LissyGlitter · 29/03/2009 21:26

Bumsex and rimming is nothing! Why not explore everything your body can do?

BitOfFun · 29/03/2009 21:29

Goodnight Kimi!

< chucks Stilton out of fridge and strangely goes off the idea of cheese and crackers for supper >

Shambolic · 29/03/2009 21:30

Gosh you're right Lissy!

Tonight I am going to do a big crap on DH.

Wow I feel so liberated

UnquietDad · 29/03/2009 21:36

kimi - is that to the tune of "Up The Junction"?

expatinscotland · 29/03/2009 21:44

I recommend Flora as a lubricant.

Toothache · 29/03/2009 21:47

Expat - does it have to be flora? I'm not keen on the taste and mixing it with the taste of a blokes sweaty hairy ring..... I'd rather use real butter to be honest. Since it seems like the in thing these days.

BitOfFun · 29/03/2009 21:52

Marlon Brando is a fan, apparently...

expatinscotland · 29/03/2009 21:53

Oh, but all those calories and poop trans-fats.

expatinscotland · 29/03/2009 21:53

Oh, but all those calories and poop trans-fats.

NotanOtter · 29/03/2009 21:54

was bitoffun

BitOfFun · 29/03/2009 22:11

True....I suppose I could make DP's "crack open a cold one" joke here...

NotanOtter · 29/03/2009 22:14

ewwwww

not heard that one!

Toothache · 29/03/2009 22:24

Expat - I'd imagine that buttfking is pretty strenuous.... so would burn off the extra calories if you go for real butter.

NotanOtter · 29/03/2009 22:26

butt but what is pegging?

independiente · 29/03/2009 23:03

Mumsnet. By perverts for perverts.

independiente · 29/03/2009 23:09

Actually sorry, that sounds a bit nasty. Was meant to be pun on 'parents'!
Night all - loved the extended poem btw kimi

VinegarTitsTheVirginNun · 29/03/2009 23:17

Who wants some bum loving?

TheLadyEvenstar · 29/03/2009 23:34

lmao vinegar

KimiWantsAnEasterEgg · 30/03/2009 08:12

looks like rhubarb taste like brie !

BitOfFun · 30/03/2009 14:51

Smells distinctly Vinegarish to me...

VinegarTitsTheVirginNun · 30/03/2009 14:57

Smells like bumsex to me