to ask for money as wedding gift (cringe)

[CrackopentheBaileys]

It doesn't feel right to do it. So I'm not sure if we should. I guess I'm asking for a general consensus. There is another thread going at the moment about wedding gifts, but I didn't want to hijack!

Bit of background, dh (to be, I know) and I have been together for 10 years this year. We have two children, the little bastards

Anyhoo, we have lived together forever, and pretty much have all the 'stuff' we need. The only big things we would need would be new kitchen and bathroom (blatantly not going to happen!)

We both have large families, and there will be 200+ at the reception, that makes for one BIG bbq... very casual wedding

So we were thinking of putting a little poem/note in with the invites, saying that we do not expect presents, we are happy for them to just enjoy our day with us (true, btw). But knowing our families, they won't be happy with that, so we will add that any monetary gifts will be gratefuly recieved and will help towards our honeymoon.

Cringe and die? Or socially acceptable?

What about:

"We've already got a house
With a garden and a picket
But now we're getting married
So buy a fucking ticket
£50 please"

I don't get saying no presents then saying but cash is accepted. You are still asking for a cash gift. Just as vulgar imho.

Nice to see you btw tilly

Most people want to buy presents as it is more fun than writing out a cheque.

Call me old fashioned but I think a wedding list with varyingly priced items on it is the way to go.

We also put vouchers from a certain shop which sold home things for those that couldn't get out.

Asking for money is awful imo.

Forget the presents, we don't want no tat
Cash and vouchers, that's where we're at !

Nope, don't ask for money. It's rude. I'd never give hard cash but I would buy vouchers instead towards a holiday or whatever.

For our wedding we asked for "no gifts, your attendance at our wedding is a gift enough" and we ended up with loads of money and vouchers. We felt quite embarrassed but it was really nice. We bought expensive things for the house, took pics of them and put the relevant pics in with the Thank You cards so that people could see what we spent on. We didn't have to do that but we chose to and it was really appreciated.

why would it be a joke?

geordieminx find it, sounds great

georgieminx please tell people not to bother buying you presents. You clearly don't appreciate them.

I dunno. Call me old fashioned

[high fives morningpaper]

Ok, I'm thinking no note in with the invites, and word of mouth for Thomas Cook (or equivelant) vouchers. I really don't want to offend anyone!

But porcupine - you could have got people to ask your family and wedding party instead. Then no pissed off guests thinking that they're being asked for something, plus no embarrassment.

CrackOpen

We're getting spliced
It's rather nice
Would you like to come along?

We'd rather have no hilarity
From guests at our vulgarity
That's why we've written this song

If you've a question or a guess
Please direct it to Nanny Tess
She's sure not to be wrong.

Nobody will vomit at that. Really.

I do charge a copyright permissions fee, though.

That'll be £800. Or the equivalent in JL vouchers. Ta.

Lovin the poems guys. Habbibu is a clear winner, she has Nanny Tess down to a T!

Helsbels, you can be as old fashioned as you like. I am asking for advice because I don't want to cause any offence or get the etiquette wrong. Nothing wrong with that, and I am taking the advice (and poems ) on board

We got married abroad and despite saying we didn't want pressies as everyone would have spent ££ getting there people still wanted to give us something - we asked for vouchers from one department shop, or some people got us a little gift, others got us nothing, others did something for us - one of my friends did my makeup, another was our photographer etc etc instead of a 'gift'
All was fine
Asking for money is crass, a poem cringeworthy, but people are likely to want to give you something, so picking one shop for vouchers may save many an awkward conversation!

depends on where in the world you are/are from.

We had cash gifts at our wedding, was totally expecting it, not asked for - just the norm.

I think us British are a bit prudish about money so probably won't be taken in the best light if you do

I personally wouldn't ask for money...it's cheeky. The wedding that I went to where they asked for cash I purposely didnt give them it and bought a gift instead. To make it worse they were a wealthy couple...that made it even more vulgar than if they had been skint.

Sorry CrackopentheBaileys, I didn't mean to offend you, it's just I don't get this being together for so long then getting married and thinking people should give you something - whether it be gifts or money. You have your home, you have your children, so why do people need to give you something just because you've eventually decided to get married? That's why I'm thinking I'm old fashioned .

Don't think that's what she meant, hels - it's just that people do give gifts at weddings, so she was looking for a polite way to pre-empt toasters/decanters/really weird wooden clocks with field mice etched on them.

I said this on another thread a while ago but my friend was invited to wedding by email which included a link at the bottom. When you clicked the link, a page opened up with the couples bank details where you could deposit money

Also, the same couple had spent 180 euros per head on the food, mentioned this in the email/invite and said that they expected the same amount back per person in cash!!

That wedding I would have refused to go to.

It's ok helsbels. Basically I know exactly what both of our families are like, and they will certainly all want to give us something. It seems to make more sense that it all gets 'pooled' as it were, to help us on our way with somthing useful, rather than lots of bits and pieces. And Im sure that our families would feel the same too. I just wasn't really sure how to go about getting the info out iyswim.
tbh, we probably wouldn't be able to have a honeymoon if we didn't pool it in this way, and I think our families would know that and be happy that they get to help us get one.
Hope that all makes sense

LOL!!!! If that's the case then personally I would ask for vouchers from somewhere as I would object if I was to be asked to give money towards a honeymoon or their already pretty established home.
(Sulks off determined to lighten up a bit )

Please, please no poems ! And if you are letting it be known that you would prefer cash, then it's nicer imho if it has a purpose - so 'money towards our new bathroom' rather than just feeling that the money will be spent on handbags.

Holy Guacamole that's bloody awful. Complete piss take and EXACTLY the kind of rudeness I am so keen to avoid!

Bloody cheek!

Sorry, X posts . It makes sense now. Ignore me, I've had a shit day