to ask for money as wedding gift (cringe)

[CrackopentheBaileys]

It doesn't feel right to do it. So I'm not sure if we should. I guess I'm asking for a general consensus. There is another thread going at the moment about wedding gifts, but I didn't want to hijack!

Bit of background, dh (to be, I know) and I have been together for 10 years this year. We have two children, the little bastards

Anyhoo, we have lived together forever, and pretty much have all the 'stuff' we need. The only big things we would need would be new kitchen and bathroom (blatantly not going to happen!)

We both have large families, and there will be 200+ at the reception, that makes for one BIG bbq... very casual wedding

So we were thinking of putting a little poem/note in with the invites, saying that we do not expect presents, we are happy for them to just enjoy our day with us (true, btw). But knowing our families, they won't be happy with that, so we will add that any monetary gifts will be gratefuly recieved and will help towards our honeymoon.

Cringe and die? Or socially acceptable?

Would liked to be asked for neither, but would rather give cash rather than TC vouchers if that's what the word was within family/friends... Wouldn't bother me too much, so long as it wasn't in the invitation!

I think that you shouldn't ask for anything and a lot of people may give money anyway. We had a wedding after a long time together and didn't ask for gifts, no gift list and many people gave us a cheque. Other than that possibly ask for gift vouchers for a store, it is much nicer.

for either, dammit.

It's rude to do so YABU I'm afraid.

I dont like being asked for cash, its like paying an entry fee to attend. The poems are very cringe worthy as well.

I dont mind vouchers if I ask for ideas but wouldnt like to be asked outright for them.

I like to choose what I buy as a present rather than someone assume I will buy and then proceed to tell me exactly what they want as well.

you have pretty much persuaded me not to put it in with the invite.

Gosh, I didn't realise weddings would so political. I feel like I've just thrown myself into the lions den with the whole thing!

Well we did exactly that, and so have a lot of our friends. Delighted to say EVERYONE contributed, apart from my elderly Gran who gave us floating candles. We raised about 3k!

lol, loving the floating candles. Such a Nanny thing bless. My Nan gets me a new photo frame EVERY year. I have them coming out of my ears, love her

3K??? Are you related to the Sultan of Brunei?

See I don't even mind giving money. I just object to being asked for it

"we raised 3k" yuck yuck yuck

your nan had her finger on the pulse

SH, would you just prefer to hear from Nanny Tess that that's what the couple would prefer? because I can get her on the case, my God the whole world would know by Sunday!

You can always sell the stuff on ebay for cash

I don't care what I get either when I marry next time. I just want a party

A friend asked for Euros as they were going away for their honeymoon so I got them those. I also usually give cash anyway.

what sort of poem

thanks for coming to our wedding bash
it cost a bit so gis us some cash

or

please don't give us towels or other crap
we need a new bathroom so buy us a tap

We asked for no presents

We got no presents

It was great

raised?

Yes, get someone else to spread the word

Loving the poetry, JustCallMeGoat

when me and my hubby got married we had been together for four years, had our own house and didnt really need anything unless someone like a plaster wanted to work for free!

we didn't put in writing that we preferred money but told parents, siblings and very close friends if they asked. some other family members asked our parents if there was anything we need they didnt know as we had everything and they were so stuck for a pressy they were giving us money to put towards our honeymoon. Some people gave us money and some bought us presents.

Those that gave us money knew we werent being greedy and we didnt care how much they gave us or if they gave us a present.

I'm afraid I cringed more at "The little bastards" than the thought of giving money as a wedding present . I'd call my dc's little monkeys or such like but not that (shudder)

Justcallmegoat

I was thinking of

Come celebrate our day of love
But please don't buy an oven glove
or a set of silver spoons
pay for our bleeding honeymoon

Captures the sentiment nicely I feel

I suppose if you have 100 couples and each gives £20-£50 then £3k is going to be "raised" although I think "given" would be a better choice of word.

Please please dont write a poem, its the crassest of crass.

I'm getting married in Oct, we dont need anything, most folk are having to travel and pay for hotels to attend so I really dont expect anything. We arent going to mention anything about presents/cash on the invites - people can decide what they would like to do themselves - if they would like to buy us a present then it will be gratefully received then possibly sent to oxfam, if they would like to give us money or vouchers then that would be great too.

We did mention in the 'additional details' that there was no need to get us anything, but if they wanted to, then a contribution towards our future house would be lovely. Despite this many people still phoned to ask what we wanted, and I found it 100 x more embarrassing asking for monetary gifts in person than putting it in the invite. I say put it in, tucked down below the details of the day!

yes but that is vulgar. say 'no presents' and then let it be know that you will accept cash.

This is a joke. Right?

there was a cracking response to a really snide poem about giving money a while ago on here...

Cant find it...

helsbels4 it was just a joke at the unmarried thing....
I'd never really call them that