to think my SIL is a "chav" for wanting to buy her wedding dress from BHS?

[Mamazon]

of course it's none of my business and im sure i should just mind my own but, really? BHS?

Where is she getting her dress though MrsMattie?

Gateau - just because it is not real life does not mean that rudeness is acceptable.

I did not mean to 'tell' you what to write. Presumably you can think for yourself and agree or disagree. My post was supposed to be a light-hearted way to stop people attacking ANYONE!

The OP ASKED was she being unreasonable. She admitted that chav was not necessarily the correct word. She has since said that she worries that her SIL will regret not making more of an effort. Not that bitchy but obv coloured by the fact that she is not keen on her SIL. Nothing wrong with that.

THAT IS STILL NO REASON TO ATTACK!

Oh I agree with those last four actually Reality.

And pregnant brides I am a bit . Why not wait till after the wedding? Or get married after the baby is born?

But then I wouldn't start a thread about it on MN about a specific person who I know.

ooh Oblomov are you my mate now? cool!

im not bothered by the "backlash"
i didn't think my Op was that bad realy.

all i was saying is why BHS? as i said, my expereince of the chain is not a very good one.

gateau - im perfectly capable of laughing off your anger. i just don't see why you are getting so wound up by it.

have you been in there recenrlt Mamazon? the kids clothes are nice

the one near here just seems to seel nasty old lady clothes made from polyester with a nice floral print

Im astounded that i got such a strong reaction and yet some of you have gone on to judge brides yourself.

maybe it's because i admited she was my SIL and not "the benefit scrounging immigrant down the road".

and yes actually, i would say these things to her face.

I sthere a full moon tonight?

Is it a nice dress? Well actually scratch that , does she think it's a nice dress? if so who gives a f* where it comes from.

How odd...

Haven't read the whole thread but I bought my bridesmaids' dresses from BHS (it was the only place I found ones that complemented all the different sizes and shapes and they all liked/agreed to wear). We dressed them up with handmade burgundy velvet and cream silk wraps to complement my (hideously expensive) burgundy and cream dress (from Selfridges).

I really wouldn't dismiss a dress just because of where it is from. It is a very snobbish attitude I'm afraid.

i bought my wedding dress from Monsoon together with the bridesmaid dresses. My dress cost ?305. I looked amazing in it, was lovely and slim then... ,sigh.
Who cares where the dress is from and why do you care, she's your sil so it's no "reflection" on you and your family. Haven't been to BHS in years and think of them as old fashioned but hey there are horrors fashionwise everywhere!

Ah, now, see...she is wearing trousers . I think they're designer, actually!

I think she has fantastic commone sense for not wanting to spend a load of money on a dress that will be worn once.

My weddign dress was from Debenhams and by the time it was in teh Blue X sale and a bit more off for a slight mark (that sponged off) it cost me £28. Full length, strappy cream Debut dress and it was gorgeous.

Brides in general, Mamazon, not members of our family who might be able to identify themselves from our remarks.

Is your SIL a "benefit scrounging immigrant" then? Is that why you don't like her?

If you're comfortable with saying all this to her face, go for it. Let us know how you get on.

Mamazon, if you think that she will regret not looking around a bit more, I think you are perfectly entitled to (gently) suggest that to her.

I kind of know where you are coming from - it's not that you want her to spend lots of money for the sake of it, it's that you can't quite see why she doesn't want something a bit more individual and a bit more her - am I right?

I had my wedding dress made for me because I had quite a clear idea of what I wanted and that was the easiest and most affordable way to get what I wanted. Can't really imagine just trotting into a department store and coming out with any old thing.

I worked on a bridal book recently. We had gowns from everywhere, Ian Stuart to BHS. And ok, the quality of the BHS was nothing like the designer but some of them were really really lovely. All the high streets are concentrating on their bridal collections and you can get a real bargain. What's more important is to get the right colour, especially if you are wearing white.

IMO you can call the dress minging, you can call it cheap, you can call it thrifty, you can call it nice but I don't think 'chav' is the right description. A chav would be like Britney and K-Fed's wedding in his n' hers track suits. Can't find pics on the web though unfortunately.

SixSpot - you have hit the nail on the head. thats precisely how i feel.

No she isn't a benefit scrounging immigrant. but it seems its perfectly ok to judge people who fall into those criteria.

As i say, i would happily say "do you really want a BHS dress? should we not at least take a look at some alternatives" if she says no she has her heart set on that dress then i will be happy for her.

but i can't imagine anyone wants a dress from a huigh street store with a not so great reputation. they may well be happy to settle for one, but i doubt its what they actaully want deep down.

if i could find her a dress that makes her gasp at the mere sight, that she adores and could only dream of wearing, for a similar price then surely that would be worth the extra couple of days looking?

I think your last post is perfectly reasonable mamazon, as long as you accept that maybe she isn't that bothered and would turn down your kind offer. But that doesn't make her a chav as far as I can see.

I bought the first dress I saw (not even a wedding dress, a posh party dress) because I was dreading the weeks of event shopping. I hate shopping at the best of times, and didn't fancy the faff and fuss. I went to town after work alone and just got it.
Your SIL might just feel like me! Wanting to tick it off!

I think it's more 'chav' to spend hundreds on an overdone dress but I do agree with what you say about wanting to find her a dress that makes her gasp... but if she's happy with BHS and it looks good on her and fits her budget then I would just go with it.

Tell her she looks beautiful in it and she will be happier than you questioning where she got it from.

Reality you seem to be listing all the things I like best about weddings. Especially the Argos wedding list where there's a chance you might be able to buy the happy couple more than a single teaspoon.

No that sounds quite posh.

REALLY classy people take shoes out of skips and drive a fourteen yr old volvo.

But you don't even like this person. Why would you do this? Unless of course, you are concerned about how her choice of high street retailer wedding dress reflects on you, in which case you are a snob.

Can't stress this enough, you haven't seen the dress. For all you know it might make her gasp with delight at the mere sight of it, but she hasn't bothered to convey this to you because she knows you don't like her very much and therefore she doesn't want to share her wedding plans with you.

Can't blame her.

Elizabeth Duke's finest for an engagement ring?

Now that I wouldn't tolerate!