Because I sooooooo dont think I am !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dh is a tosser!!!

[mosschops30]

I went to do the weekly shop today, it normally costs us £50-£60 a week. We only needed 2 main meals for this week because we are away, but didnt shop this week so needed to stock up on basics like yoghurts, tins etc.

When I came home dh asked how much I'd spent and then saw some Vaseline Intensive Care I had bought (£2.70) and started moaning about the cost and said:

'Shouldnt you be buying stuff like that yourself now youre working, I dont see why you should put it in with the weekly shopping' ??????

So after some heated words and me giving him £3 in temper to cover cost of said cream, hes now gone out in a strop.

So AIBU???

NO!!!

no

It sounds like you are students in a flat share.

What next? He complains because you are eating more of the cheese than him and demands a refund?

No bloody way!

Where does the money come out of for his toiletries?

bloody hell - he'd have a fit over my National Enquirer habit then. Tell him to toss off!

Lol Milly R - don't you dare use the oven for a jacket potato!

Since I have started work I have paid half the mortgage (he made sure it was done the first month) although even when I was on my bursary I probably paid about a 1/3.
I have also paid half for our family holiday this year.
Have booked an expensive weekend to London next weekend for his birthday, I told him he can shove it up his arse.

I wouldnt mind if it was something big, I spent £60 on Decleor products this week but wouldnt dream of asking him to pay for them. But £2.70 for a cream, I thought that was a bit mean

His toiletries come out of the shopping, but thats different because he pays for the weekly shop so can add what he wants, obviously if I want something I either have to pay for the shopping or buy it separately

WHAT???? How can you live like that? How much did he pay you for your time doing the shopping?

Oh Lord it's sooo grudging and petty - poor you.

No way.

I don't work. DH gives me an allowance and I buy everything I need out of that. If we are out together it really doesn't matter who chooses what and who pays for it. We are a team and we share.

He sounds like a tight fisted git TBH.

In future he should do the weekly shop if he's so concerned about what you are wasting all his money on...

No YANBU!

just tell him you want to look lovely for him!

Sadly, this is often the problem when you have His Money My Money, instead of Our Money.

Perhaps a rethink of the family finances?

All into one big pot?

Of course, many people don't like that, and it's a personal choice, but it certainly makes life easier if you just see all income as family income, because you don't get resentful.

Good god
what a tosser
I would take a friend and go on the bday weekend with them

DP can be like that sometimes.....I ignore it now and he has got better, i just know he is a tight bastard sometimes
It isn't right though

Erm, marriage means his money is yours and vice versa, how petty and ridiculous.

I don't get these households where money is divided in this way? In my gaff, everything is 'ours' and it all goes in the same pot.

He's being a tosser. Who buys his shaving stuff?

CD thats exactly what Im thinking. I have never treated him whilst we've been together and it was supposed to be a special treat for his birthday, Ive booked nice hotel, travel, show, dinner, arranged childcare

The worst thing is that no matter how wrong he is, he will not apologise, ever!

I wouldnt want to pool our money, dh earns twice my wage, we split the bills and he pays childcare and food shopping. The whatever we each have left is free for us to do what we want with (e.g. like buy cream lol)

sorry, but this is an example of why I just don't get married couples having separate money. Its ALL a partnership, all shared, jointly. I know it works for lots of people but I also know it causes tons of rows for other couples of the "I paid last time" or "you should pay for more than half because you earn 4 times what i do" etc

OP - are you SURE it was not meant as a joke? or is he this petty in other ways? I hope he sees sense and buys you a lovely big bouquet - do you hear me Mr OP!!

On Hecate's idea - what I have done in the past is have a household account. Work out all outgoings (roughly) and split according to how you earn, then DD it in every month. Decide whether clothes toiletries etc are in or out. Put some extra in for a nice meal/takeaway every month (if you can afford it).

Then you have a "joint account" and also separate ones with anything left over which can be comforting for people who find it hard to let go of having their "own" money entirely...

theresonlyme - an allowance? does that concept not bother you a little?

Well to be honest he is being very unreasonable.

Why not turn the tables on him a litle tho? Tell him you bought the vaseline with a night of passion with him in mind. Maybe say you though it could facilate some bum fun or a really good hand job? keep a straight face as you announce this! Then pull a hurt face and state that obviously you will be keeping it to use yourself (for cosmetic purposes) now since his thoughtless comments have ruined the mood for you!

xx