to drop this complaint letter off at the hair salon this afternoon?

[DragonLowFatSpread]

you have about 10 minutes to help me figure out whether i should complain or not.

I write to complain about the treatment received by my 4 year old son by one of the managers of the salon yesterday.

The manager took it upon himself to discipline my son for climbing on the sofa. On the first instance he was asked not to climb on the top of the sofa, a request which was reasonable and also obeyed. Had you specified that this also included kneeling on the sofa so that he could see his Mother then I?m sure this would have been adhered to also. As such, he positioned himself so he could see where I was. He was sat quietly and bothering no one as far as I can see.

At this point the manager chose to raise his voice to him, adopted an aggressive posture over the child and threatened to throw him out of the salon should he not sit properly on the sofa. A patronising wink and a smile were then offered to me, which only confirmed to me that this is a man who enjoys intimidating children.

Thankfully, my son has a resilient disposition and he chose to remain ?seen and not heard? for the remainder of my appointment before expressing his upset on leaving the salon. I personally didn?t need the aggravation and chose to ignore the manager?s behaviour in preference for an undisturbed and overdue hair cut. However, I feel that the appointment was a stressful experience for which I resent paying £20 for.

May I suggest in future, that if staff in your salon have issue with the behaviour of children in the salon, then a polite request to the accompanying adult would be a more appropriate course of action and would avoid the upset caused in this situation.

Sincerely,
Dragonlowfatspread.

Brilliant letter!

Your 4 year old watched you have an entire hair cut!! What a star! Mine would never have sat/knelt still for that long. Gold star for him and big black mark for hairdresser/manager.

I thought he behaved brilliantly considering he only had a headless power ranger to amuse him.

Grrrr.

no, ,you should have dealt with it at the time,. i would go elsewhere tbh.

You should have dealt with the situation at the time imo.

lol @ your new name! I prefer the old one.

Brilliant letter.

My dd1 would have given a piece of her mind if he spoke to her like that, what a great ds you have.

i know and i feel dreadful for letting it slide at the time.
tbh his behaviour intimidated me too.

Although I agree the manager may have been slightly over the top with his second request to your dc, personally, I would chalk it up to experience and not make a fuss as you said nothing at the time.

Not sure what you are expecting them to do.

I'm not sure I would want a child wearing shoes kneeling on my sofa either. I would have been nicer about saying something tho

Why did you not say anything at the time??

I think that the moment has passed TBH

i didn't want a scene.
i just him to know that what he did was inappropriate and that i would have preferred him to let me deal with my son.

Normally i'm a fan of letting things lie - but this was unpleasant and it'd not unreasonable of you to take time to gather your thoughts. I would send it.

Oh FGS
How utterly ridiculous
he was having a laugh with yuor kid!
And why should he have to put up with him bouncing around.It's a hair salon, not a creche.
Keave him home next time.

And what's with the letter? If you have something to say, why didn't you just say it?

oooh, very well worded letter.

are you ever planning on going back there tho?? as IMVHO, if you are, I wouldn;t send it.

altho, I would be shocked if you did plan on going back considering the experience, and I am all for constructive critisism for shops so that if they are losing their customers, they know why at least!

the moment has passed so I'd leave it and go somewhere else next time if it bothered you.

IMO you were not dealing with it.

I'd have bollocked my dc for doing that on a sofa anywhere. You should have sorted it out before he had to do it.

moondog - 'adopting an aggressive posture' isn't having a laugh is it. Jumping on other peoples sofas isn't exactly lovely but it doesn't warrent telling off somebody elses child. I'm so laid back as to be horizontal but I still wouldn't like it if a stranger told my child off.

he was not having a laugh with anyone moondog.
he was being a total prick.
i was there.
i love the way you exaggerate and twist other mumsnetters posts. Did i say he was 'bouncing around'? no
He was sat very still.

I'm all for people telling my child off on their property if he is doing something they don't like (and shoes on a sofa would not be tolerated in my home).

You might be a bit put out but a letter is completely over the top.

Why should he not be able to tell off a child who is using his furniture incorrectly?

Would you have expected him to intervene if teh child was about to do something dangerous? Or walk out the door unsupervised.

Some people are way too precious about their children.

i don't particularly take offence if other people tell my children off.
i do however, take offence to people who are obviously clueless about dealing with children getting off on playing the big man.

he was threatening to throw him out unsupervised.
he was way over the top.

i frequently explicitly ask people to chastise my boisterous ds if i have a feeling he might get a bit OTT (eg waiters in restaurants, stern uncles, the blokes in the recycling centres.)

He listens and learns an important lesson about adults setting the agenda, not small children.

I think you have reacted very well. Sometimes, in situations, it doesn't always pay to argue at the time. That would have upset your son even more.

With writing this letter, you have proved that you have acted reasonably and to be honest, the letter is more likely going to make manager think how he behaved, rather than having a go at him at the time!!

That said, if it was me, I would have gone bullistic and then wondered why I didn't take your course of action!!

gotta go.
thanks for the opinions.

'he was threatening to throw him out unsupervised'.

Eh??? As if he would throw him onto the street and you would remain there in the chair, towel over shoulders?

Get a GRIP.