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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to drop this complaint letter off at the hair salon this afternoon?

210 replies

DragonLowFatSpread · 17/01/2009 14:34

you have about 10 minutes to help me figure out whether i should complain or not.

I write to complain about the treatment received by my 4 year old son by one of the managers of the salon yesterday.

The manager took it upon himself to discipline my son for climbing on the sofa. On the first instance he was asked not to climb on the top of the sofa, a request which was reasonable and also obeyed. Had you specified that this also included kneeling on the sofa so that he could see his Mother then I?m sure this would have been adhered to also. As such, he positioned himself so he could see where I was. He was sat quietly and bothering no one as far as I can see.

At this point the manager chose to raise his voice to him, adopted an aggressive posture over the child and threatened to throw him out of the salon should he not sit properly on the sofa. A patronising wink and a smile were then offered to me, which only confirmed to me that this is a man who enjoys intimidating children.

Thankfully, my son has a resilient disposition and he chose to remain ?seen and not heard? for the remainder of my appointment before expressing his upset on leaving the salon. I personally didn?t need the aggravation and chose to ignore the manager?s behaviour in preference for an undisturbed and overdue hair cut. However, I feel that the appointment was a stressful experience for which I resent paying £20 for.

May I suggest in future, that if staff in your salon have issue with the behaviour of children in the salon, then a polite request to the accompanying adult would be a more appropriate course of action and would avoid the upset caused in this situation.

Sincerely,
Dragonlowfatspread.

OP posts:
Tiramissu · 17/01/2009 20:21

Erm, no. Offer them a chocolate

herbietea · 17/01/2009 20:23

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DragonLowFatSpread · 17/01/2009 20:23

did you seriously just say that!
pmsl.

ok, well then we'll have to agree to disagree, because your parenting style is soooo the other spectrum to mine..

For me, it is absolutely not helpful to berate, embarrass, and intimidate in order to have a disciplined child.

OP posts:
herbietea · 17/01/2009 20:23

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llareggub · 17/01/2009 20:24

If I felt a shop manager was being intimidating and aggressive towards my son I'd have got up, mid-haircut and voted with my feet. I'd really not want to give him my hard-earned £20.

unfitmother · 17/01/2009 20:25

AIBU?

No, but a bit precious perhaps?

DragonLowFatSpread · 17/01/2009 20:26

of course he'll put his shoes on a sofa again.
he's a 4 year old boy.

if i completely followed DS's agenda, i would have killed and eaten the man who he calls 'smoochieboss'.

OP posts:
ilovelovemydog · 17/01/2009 20:27

2 dogs through a salon?

herbietea · 17/01/2009 20:27

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DragonLowFatSpread · 17/01/2009 20:27

llareggub, i wish i had.

OP posts:
Tiramissu · 17/01/2009 20:27

likewise Herbietea

But i should leave this thread, not good for my blood pressure

herbietea · 17/01/2009 20:28

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DragonLowFatSpread · 17/01/2009 20:29

gosh what an aggressive bunch you are.
no wonder you shout at children or think it's ok to let strangers do it.

OP posts:
DragonLowFatSpread · 17/01/2009 20:30

...it's a short fuse isn't it?!

OP posts:
herbietea · 17/01/2009 20:34

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cornsilk · 17/01/2009 20:36

Herbietea - I am gobsmacked at your attitude towards dragon on this thread.

sunnygirl1412 · 17/01/2009 20:40

Two thoughts. Firstly, DLFS said that, when asked, her son stopped standing on the sofa - so why didn't the manager try asking him politely first, giving him a chance to comply.

Secondly, small children can be incredibly literal, which explains why he had stopped standing on the sofa, but didn't realise that this also meant 'no kneeling on the sofa either' - and also explains why he didn't know that the manager was, I suspect, acting the stern 'big man' as an attempt to deal with the situation jokily.

I will do the same jokey sternness, but only with children that I know and who know me and will know that I am only joking. It was illjudged for the manager to do it with a child he didn't know, and pretty reasonable of Dragon to point this out to him.

herbietea · 17/01/2009 20:42

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DragonLowFatSpread · 17/01/2009 20:45

oh thank goodness sunnygirl1412.
DS did stop doing what he was doing.
he just did something else.
he just needed to be asked not to do that also.

OP posts:
purepurple · 17/01/2009 20:45

OP I think you are being unreasonable and wonder why on earth you thought it reasonable to take a 4 year old to the hairdressers in the first place?

cornsilk · 17/01/2009 20:45

I am in awe of your superior parenting skills herbie.

DragonLowFatSpread · 17/01/2009 20:46

"childen can be incredibly literal".

hallefeckinglujah!

OP posts:
nooka · 17/01/2009 20:50

My lovely ex-next door neighbour regularly told the children he would take off their legs and made other rather exaggerated threats towards them when he felt they weren't behaving. He was an ex teacher, and a bit of a dragon with it. Lovely man, and once the children figured out that he meant well they relaxed around him somewhat. We all have different styles when it comes to children. I for example do not think that if a child is misbehaving it is necessary to come down to their level (physically) in order to ask them to do whatever it is that they know perfectly well they shouldn't be doing. Standing over them and saying "oy" is not in my opinion aggressive. But these sorts of threads are fairly pointless, because it's all in the manner isn't it? The chap could have been tongue in cheek and perfectly pleasant and SLFS could have been indulging in compete PFB indulgence, or he could have been nasty. Who knows, as none of us were there.

DragonLowFatSpread · 17/01/2009 20:51

er, purepurple, because he's very well behaved .

sorry, herbietea, it sounds like materialism is an important part of you approach to parenting. other people stuff (it wasn't the guys living room ffs), i've taken DS's laptop, that should make him behave etc.
I guess if you have a lot of attachment to 'stuff' then that is what you've taught your children and then that form of discipline works for you.

a sofa is a sofa IMO.
there are more important things to teach children.

OP posts:
herbietea · 17/01/2009 20:52

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