To be highly irritated about the Twin thread - school trip fees

[DietDisaster]

I can't understand how people think that having two children close together has a similar financial impact as having twins (or higher multiples) .

As a mum of dearly loved DTs, this makes me annoyed because parents of twins have to buy two lots of baby equipment (double pram, two cots, highchairs, nappies!!) at the same time and as they grow nothing can be passed down. Also have to pay two lots of childcare/nursery fees, when they want to do activities they can only do them if you can afford to pay twice (mine have to do exactly the same things as I'm not having either of them miss out). When they start school, two lots of uniform, coats, shoes not to mention trips, then there's beds, larger car, university fees etc, etc.

At least parents who have kids close together can reuse a lot of stuff and anyway, it is their CHOICE to have them close together, you have no choice over whether you have twins and I don't believe that anyone who decides to get pregnant thinks 'oh, better wait until I'm sure I can afford 2 in case I have twins'. People who have children close together can plan to space out their children if they can't afford it.

Therefore, I think schools should help out parents of twins, triplets etc and they should not have to pay the same as singletons!!

Two lots of nursery fees are a bitch! We actually took out insurance against twins as we have a family history of them, precisely because we were both returning to work. Luckily conceived only one!
Then totally screwed when number 3 conceived unintentionally (it happens ya know!) and ended up with two babies in nursery and astronomical costs for bloody years!
Hey ho, tis life.

X posts there with Mila.

But perhaps my last post will get the message across. NO, WE DON'T ALL PLAN OUR AGE GAPS! CONTRACEPTION DOES FAIL YOU KNOW!

You chose to do the deed,it was your choice.

This competitive 'my life is harder than yours' shit on MN really gets on my tits. Who needs sexist blokes around when we're so happy to tear into one another?

I had 15 months betwee DD1 and Dd2, dd1 was a summer baby, DD2 was a winter baby. I had brought a single buggy for Dd1 and suddenly needed a double, so more money. They were both in cots and highchairs.

Oh and Ds1 and Dd1 both have school trips this year, I have to find £400 before april.

My best friend has 2 DD's with an age gap of 16 months and my mum has 3YO twins so I reckon I know what I am talking about here.

My friend's second DD was a happy accident so she had nt budgetted, planned in stuff or whatever you are whinging on about. My mum and Dad were trying for 1 child and they budgetted for one so how is it that part of it any different? You need to shell out double the amount and even if you have planned for one and have money saved for that then technically yOu are paying the same as someone who has an age gap.

At the end of the day does it really matter what people say? It's a pointless argument everyone has there own problems, I'm sure plenty of people are pissed off hearing you go on about this just as you are sick of people making out it's the same or whatever verbal diohorrea(sp?) you are souting.

So get a life and go deal with your problems the way you expect others to deal with theirs in a corner with their mouths shut

I have to admit to feeling violently jealous of parents of twins. I have had two pregnancies (am now half way through a third v. high risk pg but that's another story) and since my first DC was stillborn, have been through 18 months of pregnancy and two separate labours, and still only have one child.

I fully accept that twins is a risky pregnancy, higher risk of birth injury etc., and then after birth expensive and physically and emotionally draining, but BUGGERIT I'm jealous of those of you coming home with two at once from the maternity hospital when I've come home with none once.

Sorry, it's irrational and a bit OT but there you go.

So you don't actually have twins Mamdiva ie no you don't actually know what you're talking about.

milamae "It's strange but in RL people we know always acknowledge the extra difficulties and cost involved with twins. I'm guessing this is because they actually see the reality."

Just wanted to respond to this.
In rl I have found that a lot of parents of twins are very aggressive if you infer that they are lucky in any way for having twins.
Not all, but enough to make it advisable to just nod and agree if you don't want your head bitten off and get into a row.

It's neither here nor there. There are pros and cons to both sides here.

DS and DD1 are 16mo apart. I had to give up work as childcare would have been too expensive. I had to buy a double buggy. I had to buy new clothes as boy/girl. I had to buy a 2nd cot as ds was still in his.

The argument for giving up work because you could not afford childcare for twins assumes that you were not going to have any more children or were going to have a big age gap.

I think having triplets + is a different story and would be more costly on average.

However, often having a SN child can be very costly...

The number one factor here is that kids will cost you whatever you've got.
With DD1 we didn't have a pot to piss in, but she still had the best of everything because she was my one and only.
DD2 and DD3 had the Bugaboo's, the designer clothes etc etc because we had more money, child number 4 should have bugger all because it's all being spent on the other three but no doubt we'll find the money from somewhere.
The point is you cut your cloth accordingly and the child/dren don't know any different.
Have I mentioned I hated school trips as a child anyway ?

I'm lucky enough to have never had anybody infer anything in RL.

Having seen me race round toddler groups in 3 directions I used to just get a supportive"you've got your hands full",other supportive comments and a cup of tea thrust in my hands.

As a result I've never needed to get aggressive Juules

'You chose to do the deed,it was your choice.'

ROFL well that's telling us all off isn't it!!

I think the OP has actually achieved her aim - I'm feeling increasingly sorry for parents of multiples as they clearly all feel so cheated on every front!!

milamae but surely the 'hands full' comments and offered cup of tea are due to the fact that you have 3 under-5s to chase around after and not specifically because of twins?

I used to get the same comment juuule with my 3, as did any harrassed-looking mum suffering various numbers of chidren heading off in various directions!!

No it was my very active twin boys

3 directions? Only 2 children?

They're marvellous these twins juuule - they can split themselves in more than one direction

I've known the mums from when the babies were all tiny.

They've seen me at baby groups trying to feed 1 tiny baby when the other was screaming(not nice),they've seen me trying to support 2 toddlers trying to learn to walk at the same time,miss out on cafe trips,swimming etc because I only have 1 pair of hands.

Why on earth would they venture to suggest I was in some way better off?

I have 5 in 3 years 9 months, including a set of twins, as newborns they didn't have twice as many babygros, maybe 50% more, everything was white so both could wear all clothes (have bg twins) but I don't think it costs any more, still needed a double buggy for a newborn and a 12 month old (or two if you're as apparently super fertile as I was circa 2000-2004... only baby 2 was planned and even then we got baby 3 chucked in for free

I'm sure they wouldn't mila. It sounds awful.

When my boys were 18 months dd was only 3 months and bouncing happily in a bouncy seat. 3 months olds don't tend to run

It wasn't a picnic Violethill and I ended up very low at times.

"They've seen me at baby groups trying to feed 1 tiny baby when the other was screaming(not nice),they've seen me trying to support 2 toddlers trying to learn to walk at the same time,miss out on cafe trips,swimming etc because I only have 1 pair of hands.
"

Apart from the 2 tiny babies screaming at the same time, the above isn't unique to twins. And I'm sure its just as distressing having a 15m screaming while trying to feed a tiny baby.