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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be highly irritated about the Twin thread - school trip fees

291 replies

DietDisaster · 09/01/2009 13:49

I can't understand how people think that having two children close together has a similar financial impact as having twins (or higher multiples) .

As a mum of dearly loved DTs, this makes me annoyed because parents of twins have to buy two lots of baby equipment (double pram, two cots, highchairs, nappies!!) at the same time and as they grow nothing can be passed down. Also have to pay two lots of childcare/nursery fees, when they want to do activities they can only do them if you can afford to pay twice (mine have to do exactly the same things as I'm not having either of them miss out). When they start school, two lots of uniform, coats, shoes not to mention trips, then there's beds, larger car, university fees etc, etc.

At least parents who have kids close together can reuse a lot of stuff and anyway, it is their CHOICE to have them close together, you have no choice over whether you have twins and I don't believe that anyone who decides to get pregnant thinks 'oh, better wait until I'm sure I can afford 2 in case I have twins'. People who have children close together can plan to space out their children if they can't afford it.

Therefore, I think schools should help out parents of twins, triplets etc and they should not have to pay the same as singletons!!

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 09/01/2009 14:11

Yes that was exactly the word antique - churlish

idobelieveinfairies · 09/01/2009 14:12

I can't find the twin thread anywhere......

MadMarg · 09/01/2009 14:14

TheCrackFox - 9.5 months between them? Who the heck wants sex 2 weeks after having a baby??? Although I guess the 2nd could have been an early baby... but still

FAQtothefuture · 09/01/2009 14:15

well I have 3yrs between each of my children, but I had to buy 2 lots of school uniform in September, and will have to do the same again in a few years when DS3 starts school.

TheCrackFox · 09/01/2009 14:22

MadMarg, i know and up until 2 weeks ago I presumed they were twins. I have known them for 5 years aswell.

Apparently the 2nd one was 4 weeks prem but still, bloody hell. Breastfeeding, sleepless nights and morning sickness sounds like a unique and unusual torture.

sitdownpleasegeorge · 09/01/2009 14:26

But for a WOHM having 2 babies at once saves on two periods of reduced income whilst on maternity leave.

I do think however that maternity/paternity pay periods should be increased for parents of multiples.

HappyMummyOfOne · 09/01/2009 14:26

"Also have to pay two lots of childcare/nursery fees, when they want to do activities they can only do them if you can afford to pay twice (mine have to do exactly the same things as I'm not having either of them miss out). When they start school, two lots of uniform, coats, shoes not to mention trips, then there's beds, larger car, university fees etc, etc."

That argument makes no sense. Everyone with more than one child would be subject to all those costs just the same.

katedan · 09/01/2009 14:27

I have to agree with dietbuster, having twins is more of a finacail burden than two close together.

Please don't assume people who have twins are rich we fill the same demographic as singelton parents and only 20% of twins are the result of fertility treatment and so "chosen" the possibilty of twins.
Parents of muliples should get financail help if they need it.

Sorry about the spelling mistakes having twins also melts your brain aswell as your wallet!

advocateofthedevil · 09/01/2009 14:31

"Parents of muliples should get financail help if they need it."

No, parents of children should get financial help if they need it.

midnightexpress · 09/01/2009 14:37

I have two with 14 months between them, so we still needed two cots, two highchairs, two lots of nappies. Both winter babies so some clothes could be passed on, but then we were given loads of clothes by other people in the first place, so I don't think that we actually spent all that much on clothes for either of them initially, so not really a valid argument. And as they get older (both boys), they are much harder ont heir clothes, so what gets passed down becomes more limited.

If there is genuine financial hardship, try freecycle/charity shops for equipment. Having children is expensive whether they are twins or not. Financial aid should be given to people in need not just because they have twins. YABU.

FAQtothefuture · 09/01/2009 14:37

agree totally with advocate's 14.31 post.

idobelieveinfairies · 09/01/2009 14:39

i think the point is though that some people who have children close in age have the choice....multiple mums do not

But of course anyone can be finding it all very expensive and therefore everyone should be entitled to help

FAQtothefuture · 09/01/2009 14:39

well I didn't "choose" have 3yrs between each of my children, I planned my first, 2nd was an "oops but never mind", 3rd was a "oops, quick MAP, SHIT it didn't work" (but wouldn't be witout him for the world now of course).

idobelieveinfairies · 09/01/2009 14:40

Of course FAQ...but surely you can see my point....i did say 'some people'.

mm22bys · 09/01/2009 14:41

IME, it is often "cheaper" to send multiple children to the same school, than singletons, and I think that is unfair!

Why should I subsidise, through my higher fees, other families? It's generally their choice to have more than one child, and it shouldn't be up to families of singles to subsidise.

Some children are more expensive than others ie some require expensive therapy (and you cannot rely on the NHS to pay for adequate therapy). Should I expect subsidies too?

FAQtothefuture · 09/01/2009 14:42

oops I forgot the after my last post, cane across a little harsh

Still agree with advocates 14.31 post though

idobelieveinfairies · 09/01/2009 14:43

..wouldn't MN be boring if we all agreed with each other

FAQtothefuture · 09/01/2009 14:45
MrsSanta · 09/01/2009 14:47

The thing about twins also, they send 1 present to a party from both of them.
The teacher gets 1 present,if you had 2 dc's close age you would need to fork out 1 present for each teacher.
Think of the money you save.
Havent got twins btw

Judy1234 · 09/01/2009 14:47

Mine are natural twins. the main cost for mothes who used to have a job is the loss of it or child care. So the sums surely show twins are cheaper...

  1. Twins -hire nanny from age 0 - 5 at say £27k a year
  1. Children 2 years and a baby. Hiare nanny for 7 years.

Difference in cost is childcare over 2 years - so about £60k more expensive eitheri n your lost wages or childcare costs if you have singles rather than efficient twins. No cost of buying a buggy etc is going to come anywhere near those sorts of costs. Obviously if mother was always on benefits and remains on benefits then the sums are different.

PoloPlayingMummy · 09/01/2009 14:48

YANBU that thread was bloody ridiculous. Stupid woman!h

Original poster
DietDisaster · 09/01/2009 14:49

Was not complaining actually as we have coped pretty well. Just saying that in general, parents of multiples do have a harder time financially and do not agree with the consensus that having two at once is the same as having one after the other. Schools have to make try to make trips affordable for parents and they seem to do the costings with only one child per family in mind. The average family I know would find to almost impossible to come up to 700 quid for a school trip (the cost for twins in the other post) and would find it humiliating having to ask for help.

Saying that having twins means you complete your family quicker so you don't have to take so much time out of work is a load of crap because I had to give up work solely because we could not afford the childcare for two. If I had one, I could have carried on working and we would not have had 5 years on the breadline.

Oh and I don't think I'm hard done by .

OP posts:
FAQtothefuture · 09/01/2009 14:50

PMSL @ Xenia's two extremes,

The nanny hirers

The benefits claimants

BoffinMum · 09/01/2009 14:50

It's swings and roundabouts - you save on some things, pay out more for others.

BUT

In state schools, shouldn't school trips be free anyway?? Why are we all paying anything at all??

FAQtothefuture · 09/01/2009 14:51

but Diet with regard to school trips, I paid out virtually equal amounts last term for DS1 and 2 for their school trips. 2 different schools (one has just gone up to Juniors, hence the 2 school uniforms required that I mentioned earlier), but both had stuff that needed to be paid for.

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