to believe that teacher's children should be treated in the same way as other pupils

[MillyR]

At my children's primary school, there are a number of teachers working in the school who have children who are pupils in the school and sometimes even in their class. I believe that unless it is essential (because you live on a remote Scottish island), you should not teach your own child as it is unprofessional and almost impossible not to show a preference for your own child and the children that they get on with.

I work 10-7, so I do the morning drop off by public transport. I then stand outside school with my children, sometimes in very unpleasant weather. The children who come on school transport are also stood outside unsupervised. The teacher's children can be clearly seen playing in the classrooms.

Recently, I arranged to go in and speak to a teacher about my child after school, which I then had to take time off work to do. During this meeting, her children were in the classroom. There have also been times when one of teachers has walked past me with her daughters, the older daughter's best friend, and they have all gone in to play in the classroom while the rest of the children had to stay outside. They are also often in the staff room or using other school facilities that are out of bounds to other pupils.

There is out of school club available in a building nearby. My children go to it after school. I think the teacher's children should also have to go to it or wait outside like everyone else.

If a teacher wants to part of her work at home and supervise her kids there, then I am not going to moan about that. But I think it creates a bad atmosphere and sense of unfairness for pupils to be treated differently because their Mum is a teacher.

There is also a huge amount of repeating of confidential information because the teachers tell their friends things, but their friends are the mums from school!

AIBU or is this common?

'I believe that unless it is essential (because you live on a remote Scottish island), you should not teach your own child as it is unprofessional and almost impossible not to show a preference for your own child and the children that they get on with.' I think I disagree with this. I would always be harder on my own child, rather than giving her preferential treatment.

As for the teacher repeating confidential information- that is a complete no-no. Do you know this is definitely the case?

It could be quite hard, I'd imagine, to avoid teaching your own child at primary - much more easily avoided at secondary.

I can understand the teacher's children being inside the classroom before school - would you prefer they were outside on their own? They should still line up with the others though.

Breeches of confidentiality would concern me and I would report those. Students should not be allowed in the staff room as there is all sorts of sensitive information posted.

I would say this was fairly unusual - I am a teacher and would not consider teaching my own children unless it was impossible to avoid. We have had the children of two memebers of teaching staff go through our school - hey have never been in their mother's class (fortunately we are two form entry so it can be avoided fairly easily) and the teachers have actually been moved out of year groups so their child is not even in the parallel class. We also never put our LSAs in the same year group as their own children unless it can't be avoided (if they have several children in school, or they work with a particular child for example).
The teacher who currently has her child in our school brings her into school with her at 7.30 and keeps her amused in her classroom until our out of school club opens at 8. She (the dd) also goes to the out of school club after school until her mum has finished work. Our head teacher would not allow the child to stay in the classroom before and after school. I agree with you that the teachers at your school should also make childcare arrangements for their children.
I would be extremely worried about repeating of confidential information and think the head teacher should be taking that very seriously.
As for the children

Have worked in schools where other teacher's children have worked there. On a day to day basis those children were gnerally not iven any preferential treatment, nor treated differently than any other pupils. Infact often the parent teachers could be harder on their own child than others IME.

If teachers are taking advantage for their own children then the headteacher should be putting their foot down and addressing the issue.

The repeating of confidential information is, of course, a complete no no. If this is occuring you could address the head about it.

I have worked voluntary in my DD's class 3 days a week for about half a year. I never gave her preferential treatment int he classrom. I would have been happy to have been in a paid role working alongside my daughter. I remained professional in my work, the fact that my daughter was there did not take this away from my work at all IMO - and incidently I believe other parents also felt that it did not either.

MMAG

Yes, because I have had things about my children repeated back to me by parents (friends of teachers) that could only be known by school staff members, but I cannot know which staff member. It could have been a classroom assistant.

There have been two occasions when a teacher has told me confidential stuff (different teacher each time). One concerned a child protection issue and one concerned a family that had been moved into the area by the council as protection against an abusive husband, which was only known to the school, for obvious reasons. I did not need to know on either occasion; it was merely gossip.

That of course, is a general issue of repeating things that should not be repeated, more than an issue of their children in the school.

Not sure where my random half a sentence came from at the end there!

yanbu - my mother was one of my teacher's (admittedly at secondary school) and the school went to great lengths to ensure we were treated the same as other children - at no point was I ever treated any differently (in fact I had to wait outside while she did meetings) and as for confidential stuff it was all kept locked away .. if you have proper evidence of confidentiality breaches, rule breaches then I think you should take it up with the head/board of governors.

and fwiw millyr was right - it was actually much harder for me and actually quite isolating

YANBU we had a teacher at our place a while ago whose dd got told everything, she even dragged her to the staff xmas lunch, she got cracking results so the head let her get away with murder. 99% of teachers I know are very professional though, when I went to school one of my friends father was a teacher and we all thought it was unfair that she had to get to school so early and left really late. I think that its understandable that the teachers children are in the class before school, they probably arrive much earlier than the other children.

I am a teacher and my daughters are at school with me.

They are absolutely not allowed in the staff room or anywhere where they would have access to confidential information about other pupils. I am very careful not to discuss specifics with DH at home (I used to as a dinner conversation, but not now). I also don't quiz DD about other pupils - it works both ways.

As for priviledges about being in school before the start of the day - I think this is a double-edged sword. Teachers' children get dragged to school at an ungodly hour while other children are still tucked up in bed, and they have to stay late too. Cut them some slack. It is not easy being a Fac Brat.

"At my children's primary school, there are a number of teachers working in the school who have children who are pupils in the school and sometimes even in their class. I believe that unless it is essential (because you live on a remote Scottish island), you should not teach your own child as it is unprofessional and almost impossible not to show a preference for your own child and the children that they get on with"

I am planning to send my dd to the school I teach in, is she to be denied a place in a good school that suits her because I work there? I am professional enough to treat her the same as other pupils. As a parent I would take it as a good sign that the teachers have so much faith in a school that they know inside and out that they send their child there.

That's poor behaviour professionally and would also indicate similar or lax leadership from the head too. It could very easily blow up in their faces. Do you intend to/can you do anything MillyR, or is this more a venting of ire?

My dd is still at primary and she was often in my classroom or in the staffroom. I dont know if I would let her in the staffroom when she is at seondary, it is not something I have thought about. She would never however be in a room while I was talking to a parent.

In fact thinking about it lots of staff have their kids at the school and it is one of the things that makes it such a special place to be.

I just feel that if they arrive a lot earlier they could go in the out of school club, and even if they are in the classroom, when other children start to arrive they could go outside. If the school bus children are outside unsupervised, why can't the teacher's children also go into the playground unsupervised?

I would never complain to the Head, because even though the confidentiality is terrible, there are some other teachers in the school who are amazing and I do not want to cause a big fuss.

It just annoys me! My daughter hates standing in the playground when it is icy. She can't even run around because they don't salt it, and I can see someone else's child sat inside! In the past I have even paid for my children to go into the out of school club even though I am with them, just to get out of the cold.

I suppose we should just get a second car so that I don't have to get the bus for the school run.

YANBU, my sis was bullied horrifically by her teachers son. I know it was 20 years ago but it was shocking.

I there is a breakfast club then the chldren should be in there. There should be no excuses. Very unprofessional.

But not all teacher's children bully.

Heated, I am just venting ire!

It obviously isn't sraightforward, as some of the teachers answering think children should be allowed in, and others think not.

Of the teachers who teach their own child, or intend to, how do you feel other children and parents from your school feel about it?

Oddly, twinset, one of the teachers said that exact thing about it being special because of the teachers kids being in the school. The teacher was totally unaware that quite a lot of mums are really annoyed about her kids, including the mum she was talking to.

I am thinking though that maybe I am borderline unreasonable. When my son moans about stuff that goes on in school, I don't know what to say, and I just have to say that life is unfair.

I teach at the school my children go to. Quite often they are in my classroom in the morning and after school (not every day but when I can make no other childcare arrangement).

Our kids club is poor (imo) and I would not want to send them there.

I would NEVER have them in the room while I conducted a meeting with parents - always arrange childcare or make them wait in the corridor or the hall. Similarly would never discuss confidential information with them (or anyone else).

I really don't think they benefit from favouritism (eldest is quite difficult and colleagues have always been very straight with me about it).

I can see that having them in my classroom might look bad to other parents but believe me they are not envied by their peers for the warm environment - rather pitied because they have to arrive early and leave late!

The children may well arrive before the out of school club starts.

I would have no problem at all with children being in their parent's classroom before/after school providing they were being supervised and were not present when confidential information was being spoken about.

Out of school care is often not free, even for teacher's children. Maybe the teacher should only turn up 5 minutes before class starts instead?

So long as the children still go outside once they are able to be there unsupervised (for DD's school this is 15 minutes before the morning bell goes, as that is when their is a supervising member of staff present) and line up wit the others - no problem IMO.

Many teachers give up a lot of their time outside of school hours for school related stuff. If this means they sometimes have to have their children with them in the morning or after school so be it.

And I always think tht a school where there are lots of teacher's children attending is generally a good indication thtat the school is a good one. Soo definitely not necessarily a problem at all.

There are many minuses to being a teachers' child. It's not a lot of compensation to be indoors for five minutes longer than everyone else. They are probably there helping mum prep a lesson (eg cutting out stuff).

There are many minuses to being a teachers' child. It's not a lot of compensation to be indoors for five minutes longer than everyone else. They are probably there helping mum prep a lesson (eg cutting out stuff).

My mum taught me for a year at primary school. I remember finding it really hard calling her Mrs *** rather than Mummy (I was only about 6 or 7). I also remember her being so careful not to give me preferential treatment that I think she was a bit mean in the end.
I didn't bully. I was bullied, but I don't think that was anything to do with being the teacher's daughter.

lol at borderline unreasonable, I think I am permanentlty borderline unreasonable.

I teach secondary so it is not as intense, if I taught dd I would see her for 1 hour a week. My dd often comes into school, as a dediated teacher I go to every concert, show and many sporting events and she is there. Last week I went to see a member of my tutor group in a panto in the next town and again dd was there. The kids adore dd, the bought in christmas presents for her, often ask when she will be in next, we have a photo of dd in my classroom at their request. Lots of parents have also met dd, so I do not see that there would be much ill feeling tbh. It is very competitive to get into my school so I could understand how some parents may feel my dd ( if she got in and wanted to go to my school) had taken a place that could go to another child.

I agree about the minus of being a teachers child or partner, dd is often cutting things out, helping me in my room. Dp is always looking for things online, printing me stuff, he comes in once a week to update my displays and tidy up. He has in the past built shelves and painted my classroom and the corridors!

I get into school about 7AM so although it may look like a cuhy number being in a classroom in the morning I am not sure it is a treat.

Okay, let me clarify. Out of school club runs from 7.30-9.00 and 3.30-6.00. I get off the bus at 8.30 (no later bus available). The official school bus children get off at 8.35. That is 25 minutes for the bus kids stood outside.

No, out of school club is not free for teachers, but why should it be?

Also, the teacher's kids aren't having to get up earlier than their classmates, because at least half of the classmates are working mums so the kids are in the out of school club.