Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10

Original poster

To think that going on holiday without your DC and not taking them on holiday at all is selfish?

242 replies

christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:12

I know I will get shot down.

But.... I know a few parents who go on holiday without their kids (I mean abroad for weeks at a time) and then their DC don't go on holiday at all! AIBU to think this is selfish.

OP posts:

tiredemma · 15/12/2008 10:53

Great minds franca......

francagoestohollywood · 15/12/2008 10:59

CrackopentheBaileys · 15/12/2008 11:05

gosh Moondog you are a bundle of joy aren't you?
I guess that you don't believe in honeymoons for people with kids because they shouldn't have been stupid and feckless enough to have kids before marriage?

Just hedging my bets........

Original poster

christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 12:46

I had both of mine before I got married. As I said before I have not had a honeymoon as I would rather go on holiday with my DC. Each to there own and all that.

OP posts:

Original poster

christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 12:47

I think if you have your DC before getting married then your life is different to that of a childless couple!

OP posts:

Original poster

christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 12:53

Most if not all of the reasons why people think it is ok for DC not to have a holday but for parents to simply seem to be excuses:

The parents are young - so was I.

Honeymoon - you've got DC I got married after DC - no HM.

We need couple time/time without DC/the DC would'nt like the holiday/we would'nt enjoy it with DC. You can enjoy child free time and still go on holiday with your kids - what about using a holiday club some of the time?

You must have lots of help at home if you don't need a week or 2 away from them - er no - very little help here - It is called having kids.

OP posts:

Original poster

christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 12:54

And before someone screams - martyr - I LOVE MY HOLIDAYS WITH MY DC - I have got years to have holidays without them and NO I'm not an earth mother.

OP posts:

francagoestohollywood · 15/12/2008 12:55

Of course your life is different, but that doesn't mean you can't go away with your dh for a short period of time. You'll then come back to your children and resume your normal life as a family. If you want to of course. And if your children are used and like to stay with other people.

Original poster

christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 12:57

I would for a couple of days!

OP posts:

Gateau · 15/12/2008 13:00

You're right, grinch, it is called having kids. For me, that means not droning on all the time about "me time" or "quality time" with DH.
DH and I do have our quality time. But we don't need to send DS off packing somewhere overnight to egt it.

francagoestohollywood · 15/12/2008 13:06

I think you have a distorted vision of people droning "all the time".
The majority of people I know finds it perfectly normal to go out with friends once in a while or plan the odd weekend away, doing some sightseeing or whatever they wish to do.

Having kids means a thousand things, means of course to make changes and kids def become their parents' priority. Even if once in a while the parents choose to do adult things.

Plus, my children cherish their time with both sets of grandparents, and uncles and aunties. They are 6 and 4 and often ask if they can go to sleep at their grandparents

Gateau · 15/12/2008 13:10

Franca, please don't be pedantic. And no, my vision is not distorted just because I have a different opinion to you. I mean "all the time" as in I hear the moaning "all the time."
We also go out with friends and have a life outside our DS. But what I'm saying is that I don't have a need, or want to have DS stay elsewhere overnight in order to do that.

poshwellies · 15/12/2008 13:12

Well, I love time away without our children.I have more nights out with dh,if we had the childcare,but sadly we don't.We only managed one weekend this year and that was the first time in over 6 yrs-fucking hell,we deserve more 'us 'time,we are adults as well as parents.

I'm sure it will have damaged my children,that one weekend away in 6 years

Original poster

christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 13:13

fran

I have time with just DH and without DC but my point is that I don't feel the need to prioritise a holiday for a week or more without them. I like 'me' time and couple time too.

OP posts:

ELMOchristmascountdown · 15/12/2008 13:17

the closest me and dp get to spending time away overnight from ds is if one goes and one stays.

they are our dc. always one of us stays with them.

i would perhaps leave them for 1 possibly 2 nights. in my house with someone watching.if perhaps we had to go to a funeral or some other event that was unsuitable for dc.

but if it had to be any longer i wouldn't go.

if i wanted holidays without dc i should never have had them.

tootyflooty · 15/12/2008 13:36

Not necessarily selfish, it's a personal issue. My dh and i have one night away a year for our anniverasry. I would not however go on holiday with out my dc, we are a family, I do have friends who regualary go sking for a week and when their dc were all under 5 went without them.But they did then also have a summer family holiday.If you have the funds and time to do both why not, just wouldn't do it myself.

nappyaddict · 15/12/2008 13:50

Yes you could take them and put them in a holiday club but some children would prefer to spend a week with relatives than in a kids club. Also most of the places abroad which have kids clubs don't come cheap or you are not actually allowed to leave the hotel whilst they are there.

lulabellarama · 15/12/2008 14:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 14:13

NObody's intending to change your mind, lulu. It's your choice. Some of us just wouldn't do it. Do what you want, but TBH it seems as if you're convincing yourself more than anyone else.

lulabellarama · 15/12/2008 14:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MmeHereWeGoAWassailLindt · 15/12/2008 14:15

FFS there are a lot if sanctimonious folk on MN today.

Honeymoons are for newlyweds, whether they have children or not. Why the hell should a couple with kids not celebrate their marriage together?

We have left our DC with my parents or ILs for up to 4 days. We live thousands of miles away from both sets of parents and the DC love to spend a couple of days with their GP alone. Next year we will leave the DC for a week with my parents in Scotland while we go on holiday. We will have a week with them in scotland beforehand but will not be having a family holiday other than that as we can't afford it.

DH and I need a break. The DC love to spend time with their Granny.

Just because it is not what you would do, does not make it right for every family

Gateau · 15/12/2008 14:21

How sanctimonious must be the most oeverusd word on MN!
Stating that you do not want to go on holiday without your kids is NOT being sanctimonious. It's perfectly normal.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 14:21

Rather, overused.

Original poster

christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 14:22

"Why the hell should a couple with kids not celebrate their marriage together?"

Why the hell should a child miss out on a holiday while the parents swan off on one.

OP posts:

Original poster

christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 14:23

Agree with gateau.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10