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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that going on holiday without your DC and not taking them on holiday at all is selfish?

242 replies

christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:12

I know I will get shot down.

But.... I know a few parents who go on holiday without their kids (I mean abroad for weeks at a time) and then their DC don't go on holiday at all! AIBU to think this is selfish.

OP posts:
MmeHereWeGoAWassailLindt · 15/12/2008 14:27

No, it is not sanctimonious to want to go on holiday with your kids. It is though to berate others who desperately need a break. The kind of holiday I like are not the places that my DC would enjoy. They are happy trailing around Scotland with their GP.

We sometimes holiday with my parents and share childcare so we all benefit but can't next year as my DB is getting married.

Lulu
Hope you have a fab holiday, I can recommend Rome as a honeymoon destination.

lulabellarama · 15/12/2008 14:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

cory · 15/12/2008 14:29

Torn on this. Not sure I could bring myself to do it. And I certainly enjoy taking dcs. But it is hard to think that I will not do a walking tour or even an outdoors holiday until I am in my 50s, by which time I may not be very fit. Because dd's disability does not allow it. But I know my health would benefit.

lulabellarama · 15/12/2008 14:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

lulabellarama · 15/12/2008 14:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

cory · 15/12/2008 14:33

I have always been happy to drag dcs around the art galleries and the museums, and I think it has strengthened the family bond. But dd cannot come with me up the mountains because it makes her ill. I know it is selfish, but I do so long for the great outdoors

lulabellarama · 15/12/2008 14:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 14:38

Somwhow that's different, Cory. You would love to take your DD up the hills but she can't go. So I would go for it once in while if I were you. I don;t think you're being selfish.

Original poster
christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 14:52

Cory,

A few days a way, doing something you want would probably do you good! Go for it.

OP posts:
MmeHereWeGoAWassailLindt · 15/12/2008 14:53

Lulu
We spent 2 days in Rome last year for our 10th anniversary then drove down to Amalfi. It was wonderful.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 14:56

While your kids were freezing their little backsides off in Scotland, no doubt...

poshwellies · 15/12/2008 14:59

I'm sure Mme's children were adequately dressed for the scottish weather.

cory · 15/12/2008 15:00

For me, it's not the thought of the kids staying somewhere overnight that would be a problem. They do school residential trips and overnight stays with friends and I never feel the slightest bit guilty. Nor when I go off to a work conference. It's the thought of me...you know...ermmm...Mum...actually having fun without them. Bad guilt trip.

No guilt at all about them having fun without me. Or me working without them.

Mums are funny things.

MmeHereWeGoAWassailLindt · 15/12/2008 15:00

While my kids were being spoilt rotten by their GP.

And it none of your bloody business where my kids were. They were being well looked after by my parents and had a whale of a time.

I did not hand in my personality and personal life over when I went into the labour suite, you know. I am not just a mum, I am still a person with likes and dislikes that are sometimes different to my DC's preferences.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 15:02

Oh bloody hell, I wasn't being serious. Just fired it in to add to the ludicrosy of most of the MN debates! Of course I realise there's no way of you lot knowing I wasn't being serious.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 15:03

Calm, calm Mme. Thou doth protest too much!

MmeHereWeGoAWassailLindt · 15/12/2008 15:33

No, there is no way of knowing that you were not serious. And even if you were joking, it was still not particularly funny. Excuse me will I locate my SOH.

And I am not protesting too much, just stating my opinion.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 15:46

Wasn't trying to be funny; it was just a wind-up - and it worked, but I think anyone would be hard pushed to make you laugh.
What's your SOH by thw way?

Gateau · 15/12/2008 15:53

Ah, sense of humour! I'll have to locate my brain, I think! Too much Mnetting on inane debates because work is quiet.

cory · 15/12/2008 15:56

I think you should try to locate the part of your brain that processes Elizabetan English, Gateau. 'doth' is not the second person singular.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 15:59

Don;t be boring, Cory.
But equally you should locate your Hs. It's Elizabethan.

cory · 15/12/2008 16:02

What this all goes to show is that Mumsnet is not doing our brains any good.

WalkinginWaynettaWonderland · 15/12/2008 16:02

Gateau - are you normally like this or are you just having a bad day?

ChopsTheDuck · 15/12/2008 16:03

not read all the thread but quite shocked that some people seem to think that parents should be tied to their children all the time. We take the kids on a longer family holiday but we also do weekends away wihtout the kids where we can. We've been to belgium and south of france whilst the kids are away at their grandparents. Some placves jsut aren't that interesting to small children, and they have a great time on the norfolk coast for a week, which is a holiday for them in a way, because we live in berkshire.

I jsut love the chance to feel like an adult again too, rather than jsut a parent. My plan this year is a weekend in barcelona if I can manage it.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 16:06

Winding people up, Waynetta?
Yep, do this quite often becasue you lot are so ripe for it. But I do also offer serious comments.