to want my DS to attend a more white than black school?

[NattyTurkeyAndEggnog]

am posting this timidly in case it is misinterpred...

there is a choice of two catholic schools locally, one is three quaters black african, and the other is three quaters white british.

now i said to dh that id prefer the white majority school, as i feel my white children would fit in better, and i would with the other parents. i dont mean it in a way that i think white ppl are better, or anything like that, in fact the other school has higher exam results. just that i am concerned with sending my child to a school that they will be very much a minority.

but DH said that he should go to the better results school.

now im torn, because im very aware that kids pick up on a child being different, and i was bullied horrendously in school.

please dont read this as a black/white thing, i would feel the same about him going to a non-religous school for the same reasons.

ok i will stand back and wait for the back lash now

I don't think the OP is worded brilliantly, but I do think some of the responders are being a bit disingenuous. I think that being in a minority group can be very challenging and there is often an initial level of discomfort which can impact on learning. However, this often leads to a far better overall experience.

I'm not saying the OP should send her child to the majority white school, just think very carefully about the schools and her child and what will be the best fit. Someone earlier suggested visiting and this seems the best way towards a considered choice.

My dd1 is in a class with a lot of children who don't speak English as a first language but, at school, they all communicate in English. It would be weird not to. Even if the majority of the children are African, even if they were all from the same country in Africa, there is a good chance they would not be speaking the same language together - it's a big place, the countries are large (and the borders are often artificial) and there a lot cultures.

marla i am not bothering to defend myself against the abusive posts because i know what i mean even if it is being misread by other ppl.
and perhaps im not brilliant at wording things, i have trouble explaining myself sometimes.. ah well, at least some of the posts have been helpful.

def going to visit schools, see how the children interact with each other. if the school is like the one in saadias post, then i may well send him there, as like i said, its not a colour thing, its a fitting in thing.

lala thank you.

but it if is language you are concerned about, why didn't you say that?

honestly, this 'all black people are one big homogenous blog' is really getting on my tits on MN. It's lazy and offensive

But do you not see, the colour of someones skin really doesn't dictate whether or not your child will fit in [exasperated] THAT is why people are offended by your posts.

blog? blob

marla, a bunch of ppl i dont know, who dont know me, and i will never meet.
im not bothered to be honest, cos the ppl i do know in RL know what im like, and know im not racist.

and the ppl with two brain cells that can understand what i am trying to get across also realise im not trying to be racist.

its not the colour that makes me wonder if he will fit in, its the differances in things like langauge, food, traditional dress etc etc

nattyturkeyandeggnog you are already choosing a school based on your religion, so your children are unlikely to mix with any non-catholics. to further select (especially based on skin colour) is a bit much.

bullying is something you should ask any school about, what their policies are and how they approach it. actually i shoudl think it is easier to get away with where everyone appears the same.

Traditional dress?? Food WTF?? You are coming across as very ignorant. Is this school in the UK? I think you are making assumptions based on skin colour, which IS racist.

Totally agree with Marla

whatever, they were examples.
anyway i give up and am abandoning this thread..

Eggnog although I dont agree with you I could see where you were coming from but you are not helping. I would stop and perhaps ask mumsnet to delete the thread/

lol cross post eggnog wise decision, besides you will be back on stage in an hour.

MY DSS was the only white boy in his class at a catholic school.

The fact that he was the only white boy was of no consequence, the problem for him was that the school was terrible. It openly had a very academic attitude, lots of test etc, which did not suit my DSS at all as he is dyslexic.

He eventually moved to a non-catholic school that was much more racially mixed; black, asian and white. (and everything inbetween and other) He got on much better. Now if that was because he wasn't the only white boy, or the only non-church attending catholic(so not really catholic imo), or because the school was not as academic we will never know.

BUT he definiately found it harder to fit in at his other school. Once again this may have nothing to do with race, but more to do with religion/his age (he is a summer baby)/his parents (separated and liberal).

In retrospect the school didnt suit him, but not because of race but because of the school. The race of the children were never an issue.

I would put my child in the school where they would be more comfortable. If that meant the mostly white school, then so be it. I wouldn't want my kid to be a sociological experiment.

Are we talking tough, inner-city schools or what?

Also One of my bf was the only asian child in a whole school and did at times find it hard, but it is very different to be a minority in a country where you are also a minority

in comparision to being a minority at school when in the rest of the country (so cultural on telly etc) you aren't.

A friend of mine actually put her daughter into a tough, inner-city school which was predominantly black (american) and I was like, oh shit, why are you doing that (when we were kids we always heard on the news about the knivings, shootings and drug busts there so those things were facts, not racism).

But the daughter got on great. No problems whatsoever. Once she got used to the metal detectors in and out of the school.

Where I went to secondary school there was one black child in the whole school of 800+ kids. She didn't get bullied. Other (white) children were bullied though for different reasons.

I think children bully and are bullied at school for many reasons and IME colour of their skin isn't one of them. You could send your child to the mainly white school and find they get terribly bullied there.