to want my DS to attend a more white than black school?

[NattyTurkeyAndEggnog]

am posting this timidly in case it is misinterpred...

there is a choice of two catholic schools locally, one is three quaters black african, and the other is three quaters white british.

now i said to dh that id prefer the white majority school, as i feel my white children would fit in better, and i would with the other parents. i dont mean it in a way that i think white ppl are better, or anything like that, in fact the other school has higher exam results. just that i am concerned with sending my child to a school that they will be very much a minority.

but DH said that he should go to the better results school.

now im torn, because im very aware that kids pick up on a child being different, and i was bullied horrendously in school.

please dont read this as a black/white thing, i would feel the same about him going to a non-religous school for the same reasons.

ok i will stand back and wait for the back lash now

Your unintentional prejudices are odd, why is colur an issue when your sending your child to a catholic school.
I went to an innercity catholic school and as kids we were colour blind and taught we were all the same. (Because we were catholics!)

What UnquietDad said at 21.14.

Especially the last paragraph.

Ummm. I dont know whether to post or not. But I think you should let your own prejudice aside, and think of the school on its merit and its atmosphere rather than the racial mix.

We have recently moved from London. My son was in a nursery with children from many different ethnic origins, black africans, asians, etc. Our neighbour was Pakistani, with a black husband, we have Indian friends, and he has been used to mixing with people regardless of their skincolour. He moved on to a Catholic school, also with a cultural mix.

Then we moved to Norway, where I am sorry to say, we are a step behind regards to "racial openmindednes". On his first day in school we were sitting in a circle, introducing ourselves. One boy, Steve, was Japanese. A boy was asked to go sit next to Steve. The boy said, "Who is Steve?" Another boy said, "The chinesy one". The teacher said "Steve is Japanese". A third boy said "Japanesy Schmesy Chinesy, it is all the same" - Attitude picked up from his parents I presume.
My son was open-mouthed throughout this exchange.

The teachers have since been commenting how my son is playing equally well with all the children, black, asian, who are in minority, and the other norwegian kids. He seems to have become a "bond" between them.

Playing with, knowing, and interacting with people of all backgrounds, be they socio-economic, cultural, etc, can only be a good ting that will enrich your outlook and your life.

QueentinselShadow. what a brilliant post

i apologise for any upset caused, like i said i should have posted this in education, i was after some perspective and experiance from other ppl.
thank you to all the posters that defended me, and i will keep well away from those who jumped on me with pointing fingers screaming "racist"

i may have put this thread across clumsily, and for that i am also sorry.

i have requested this thread to be removed as the last thing i wanted was to cause offence to anyone.

so maybe we should all get on with our lives, yes?

re. throwing around the "R" word:

I went to a village primary school where most kids were many were at least the 3rd generation in their family to go there and everyone was not just white, but also the same nationality and religion. everyone thought they werent racist and considered it racist to think anything other than "everyone is the same inside and colour and race mean nothing"

In recent years the village has had a lot of immigration (which it never experienced before) and it is one of the least tolerant irintegrated places I know - my point is that its very easy to be tolerant from a distance and to throw the "R" word out there at someone who is concerned about putting their child into an environment which is alien to him due to cultural differences

People from different places ARE different. I am from a different country to my husband. This makes us approach some issues in fundamenally different ways. Its not even as if we are from THAT far away from each other, yet there are differences based on our races and I think its okay to say so. If everyone from everywhere approached life the same way then why would anyone bother going travelling or move to other countries etc? It is not racist to attribute certain behavours to certain races. I am proud of the beliefs and quirks that I have due to my race and culture. We're not all the same regardless of where we're from and that makes life more fun. Acknowledging differences is not in itself racist. Putting your head in the sand and saying "everyone's the same" is not the way to go IMO

NattyTurkeyAndEggnog I apologise if I came over as finger pointing. It wasn't meant that way. Just go on the 'feel ' of the school. thats what I did.

thank you shiny shoes

Natty. FWIW I read your OP as being concerned about cultural differences. I think the fact that the children at the school happen to be mainly black has clouded the issue.

I went to an inner city school which has recently been in the news for it's shocking policies on admission. Although quite culturally diverse the main divide was not between different races but between middle class and working class kids. This is where most of the snobbery and bullying took place.
I then decided to go to college instead of sixth form, where I was the only white person in many of my classes. The education I received there was fantastic. Not a single person commented on my skin colour. There were many different languages all around me, which was fantastic whilst doing English A-level, as many of the people who had English as a second language knew much more about English grammar than I did.
Race is not an issue to lots of people. We are all human, not colours.

Also 'Black African' - Do you know how large Africa is? There are many different languages spoken across Africa. I doubt your DS will be excluded from conversations.

thank you bubble.
nice to know there are some people out there that read a thread as what its meant to be

and the black girls in my class made fun of my non-existant ass - I thought that was funny too!

No. Fuck what UQD said. Why do so many of the 'reasonable' posts make the quiet assumption that all MN-ers are white.

Really, really pisses me off.

I don't think it's strange to admit to concerns that your children are going to be any kind of minority: ethnic/racial/linguistic, whatever. The way you choose to act on them is a different matter.

Fact is, there are some subjects it's just best not to raise on MN unless you have a very thick skin and this is probably one of them.

lmao butterfly

plenty of ethnic minority background children manage to deal with being in the minority in the schools they attend.

Read UQD's post. Read all the nice, 'reasonable' bloody posts about 'all parents having these concerns' that always come up on these threads - defending what is ultimately narrow minded, prejudiced attitudes as being perfectly OK, because the people who display them are middle class and word it ever so, ever so carefully )

Urmmm...NO. Not all parents have these concerns. I don't. My kids aren't white. Oh, and I find it really, really worrying that other people do have these 'concerns' about their kids mixing with my kids. Really worrying.

by the way im so not middle class..

I had concerns as to whether my DS1 would fit into a school where 80% of children have ESL. There was and are definite social groups of children that my son can't easily fit into as these children socialise with school families that speak the same language other than English and the parents seem to choose to mix primarily with 'their own'

Nearly all of these families are Caucasian. Does this make my (white) concerns about cultural differences more acceptable?

people have concerns about their kids mixing with all kind of kids - older kids, younger kids (e.g. the summer baby parents), richer kids, poorer kids AND kids from different cultures.

I dont see how being white disqualifies anyone's opinions about race - white is a colour too and being white does not disqualify you from experiencing racism. I think the view that racism only goes from white to black/asian is one of the most racist views around

My non-britishness may not be visible on my skin but its clearly apparent when I open my mouth and people hear my accent so I think that I am just as qualified to talk about ethnic minorities since I very often AM the different one