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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be suspicious of DH mobile ALWAYS being on silent mode?

109 replies

Boobalina · 01/12/2008 10:59

He has it on silent at work, god knows why as he is the boss of the company and receives work calls all the time. But then when we are at home he has it on silent all the time and the phone is always in his pocket - like all the time, he never takes it out. When he is out without me it takes ages for him to answer a call from me, because its on silent. And I keep telling him to put it on normal when he's out as I can't get hold of him in an emergency.

He never used to do this, its only in the last 18 months.

I've wondered about an affair, but can't actually think when he would be doing it, unless he is lying about being with our mutal friends or in his lunch break?

OP posts:
DaisyMooSteiner · 01/12/2008 11:00

Have you asked him why he has it on silent? Yes, I'd be a bit suspicious.

Anna8888 · 01/12/2008 11:01

Yup, be suspicious. Investigate.

Comma · 01/12/2008 11:01

Look at it.

FioFio · 01/12/2008 11:04

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Original poster
Boobalina · 01/12/2008 11:04

I am suspicious, I have asked him and he says he hates hearing it ringing???

I can't look at it as he has it with him always. When he goes to sleep he leaves it in his trouser pocket by his bedside and when he gets up and has a shower, its switched off.

OP posts:
ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch · 01/12/2008 11:04

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Comma · 01/12/2008 11:04

So say you don't like it.
Or just turn it on and look at it.

Original poster
Boobalina · 01/12/2008 11:05

FioFio, can I ask why you have your phone on silent? I really dont want to think the worst and its great to have a different perspective.

OP posts:
FioFio · 01/12/2008 11:06

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ForeverOptimistic · 01/12/2008 11:06

Dh and I have our phones on silent as I find a ringing phone an intrusion.

FioFio · 01/12/2008 11:06

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stealthsquiggle · 01/12/2008 11:08

Turn it on and have a look - but don't let your imagination run away with you too much - ours are often on silent because they are annoying otherwise (although I always regret that when I can't find it again)

FeelingLucky · 01/12/2008 11:12

I'd be a bit suspicious if he only started doing this 18 months ago, and I'm not a very suspicious person.
I hate ringing of mobiles too, and so put it on 'beep once' option when in office rather than silent.

FioFio · 01/12/2008 11:12

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ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch · 01/12/2008 11:13

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EggyChick · 01/12/2008 11:14

My husband's is always on silent too! Then when he switches it on to ringing I moan because it's always ringing. He is not having an affair. But it's bloody annoying if you're trying to get hold of him.

I think a sneaky look at it should be your very last resort, I would be mortified if my husband invaded my privacy like that.

MinkyBorage · 01/12/2008 11:14

iF i WERE YOU, i WOULD (oops) get up in the night with a pen and paper, take it to the bathroom, lock the door and research, thoroughly. Do not open the door or put the phone back until you have all the info you need.

akhems · 01/12/2008 11:17

mine is on silent most of the time, just because I find it annoying when it rings or beeps etc. I'm not up to anything suspicious at all.

Kbear · 01/12/2008 11:17

Mine phone is always on vibrate rather than ringtone at work for obvious reasons and I usually forget to switch it back to ringtone.

You must have other reasons to distrust him or the silent phone wouldn't be an issue surely?

Kbear · 01/12/2008 11:18

I'm sure everyone in my office has their phone on silent or it would be mayhem.

poppy34 · 01/12/2008 11:18

am with others who say have it on silent as intrusive(random types ring dh all the sodding time..)

SnowballsintheSky · 01/12/2008 11:19

Mine is on silent all the time. When I'm at work it's so it doesn't annoy anyone else. When I am at home it's because it always rings when DD is asleep. I sometimes remember to switch the ringer on if I'm on my own but mostly I forget.

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 01/12/2008 11:22

Minky Borage

If my partner did that and I found out I would be tempted to leave her. I think you need a lot more evidence than this to start prying into people's private lives on the offchance they might be having an affair.

My phone is always on silent unless I am waiting for an urgent call. This is because ringing phones are annoying to me and to those around me. For the same reason, I try not to use my mobile on public transport. It's simple politeness. I can't put my finger on when this view changed - ie when an impromptu, non-urgent phone call from someone outside the room became more important than the other people in the room - but I know it hasn't always been like this and I don't like it.

I didn't get or make many unexpected urgent calls before mobiles were widespread and I don't suppose I miss many now either. So your call can wait until I see you've called me or you can send me a text.

And no, I'm not having an affair!

VinegarTinselTits · 01/12/2008 11:22

My ex always had his phone on slient, he did it to annoy people, everyone (his mum, his friends, me) used to moan that they couldnt get in touch with him and he would just grin smuggly, he wasnt having an affair he was just an attention seaking, passive aggresive, tosspot.

Not saying your DH is like that though, if he is having an affair it will come out in the end anyway.

scaredoflove · 01/12/2008 11:23

Always have mine on silent, very occasionally switch it to vibrate if waiting on a particular call or if kids will be wanting me

I hate people assuming I am at their beck and call. Pre mobiles, if people couldn't reach you immediately, they would leave a message or try again later. Now everyone assumes you are available at all times

If a partner of mine got suspicious over it, I would seriously get annoyed with them

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