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Original poster

to be suspicious of DH mobile ALWAYS being on silent mode?

109 replies

Boobalina · 01/12/2008 10:59

He has it on silent at work, god knows why as he is the boss of the company and receives work calls all the time. But then when we are at home he has it on silent all the time and the phone is always in his pocket - like all the time, he never takes it out. When he is out without me it takes ages for him to answer a call from me, because its on silent. And I keep telling him to put it on normal when he's out as I can't get hold of him in an emergency.

He never used to do this, its only in the last 18 months.

I've wondered about an affair, but can't actually think when he would be doing it, unless he is lying about being with our mutal friends or in his lunch break?

OP posts:
Original poster
Boobalina · 01/12/2008 11:26

Liek I said, I dont think he is playing away, as he doesnt have the time unless its lunch breaks and he doesnt seem to take those.

I think it had become one of those things where I wouldnt do that and found it odd he would have his phone on silent all the time, but now hearing so many others do it too, I can see a different and less paranoid perspective.

I'll get off his back now!

OP posts:
Original poster
Boobalina · 01/12/2008 11:29

ManIfeellikeawoman - thanks for your insight too.

Its funny, I was expecting loads of 'he's having an affair, the bastard, leave him' type replies but clearly, I was alone in my paranoia on this one [hmmm]

OP posts:
DiscoDizzy · 01/12/2008 11:30

DH's phone is always on silent mainly because it rings so often he doesn't want it to ring out all the time as its intrusive. I'd be suspicious about never letting the phone out of his sight and perhaps him taking a while to answer it is your paranoia that somethings going on.

leoleomakingalist · 01/12/2008 11:31

My phone and my sisters phones are always on silent mostly for the reasons previously stated.
I feel annoyed every time I hear DP's ring tone.

I wouldn't be bothered really if DP wanted to look at mobile and mobile in normally just left on the side - that's the bit that bothers me. Why is it always in his pocket?

IAmNotHere · 01/12/2008 11:32

If he has it on vibrate and keeps it in his trouser pocket, I reckon he just likes getting a cheap thrill without causing suspicion.

That or it's broken and he can't be arsed to have it fixed.

Original poster
Boobalina · 01/12/2008 11:33

I guess he keeps it in his pocket so if it does ring he can feel it as opposed to hear it?

OP posts:
OneBoyOneGirl · 01/12/2008 11:37

My phone is too always on silent, simply because i get fed up of it going off on buses, in doctors etc, if i am expecting a important call then i change it but other than that its on silent 24/7 (but tbh no-one ever calls me )- maybe its just for an easy life~??

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 01/12/2008 11:40

You're welcome. At the same time, I don't want to come across as the defender of all men. I just think the ring tone issue is a bit of a red herring.

The genuine secrecy things (turning it off, keeping it in his pocket) - for the record, those are things I DON'T do.

But at the same time i like to think (hasten to add I've never put it to the test!) that, were I to have an affair, I'd be a bit smarter at covering my tracks than to rely on never putting my mobile down! So don't know what to make of that.

You mention that you don't know when he has the time. Surely that's your weak link, rather than going through his phone in the toilet? Can't you bump into these mutual friends or arrange a lunch time coffee meeting at short notice? See if he breaks a sweat ...

kayzisexpecting · 01/12/2008 11:47

My phone is always on silent, I'm not having an affair.

I just don't like having it on noisy. I don't even really know why. I think the noise when it rings just annoys me. The only time it is on loud is when I go shopping and thats only because I have it in my bag.

blueshoes · 01/12/2008 11:47

Does he put a password to get into it?

Next time he is looking at his phone, just casually look over his shoulder and ask who is it? If he twitches ...

Original poster
Boobalina · 01/12/2008 11:52

When he does go out with the mutal friends I know he isnt lieing, he'd be daft too as he is out with the boys adn I am close friends with their wifes... do you get what I mean?

And if I ask who has just texted, called whatever, he does tell me.

It is odd, the pone carrying around thing... but I guess I either trust him or I dont...

OP posts:
littleboyblue · 01/12/2008 12:00

My dp turns his phone off the minute he comes home, don't know why as have never asked. I'm not suspicious of an affair or anything like that, but think if you are suspicious, if there is something niggling at the back of your mind, there is normally a reason.

MegBusset · 01/12/2008 12:05

I always keep my phone on silent, and usually in my pocket. And I'm not having an affair.

Are there other reasons why you don't trust him?

blueshoes · 01/12/2008 12:07

I would not have thought carrying your phone with you always is suspicious. It is why men like their pockets.

But switching it off to have a shower is a bit deliberate. Something about that makes me uncomfortable. Is he is very precise organised sort of person?

VictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 12:12

I rarely have my phone on, or on me and it winds DP up a treat, but I genuinely don't think about it, however, when it is on, it's often on vibrate and in my pocket. Just because it is.

No-one really needs to get hold of me that doesn't have my landline no. and I'm normally home so the mobile isn't needed.

DP however, his phone is always on silent (because phones ringing are annoying, AND it's not so easy to ignore if it's not important) and close by because phone calls he would receive on his mobile could be pretty important.

Both mine and DP's phones would be easy to go through if either of us really wanted to but I'd need a hell of a lot more than it being on silent in his pocket to break that trust.

VictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 12:14

Does he switch it off to have a shower though or does he switch it off when he goes to bed and just take it out of his trousers when he gets in the shower?

IAmNotHere · 01/12/2008 12:15

Have you ever actually said to him "Why do you keep your phone on silent?"

wannaBe · 01/12/2008 12:27

I keep my phone in my pocket because... well just because I do really. Because often if I've picked it up to send/read a text then it's easier just to stick it in my pocket rather than have to make the effort to walk back to put it in my bag.

I don't have it on silent because it's not going off all the time. If it was though i imagine I would.

Dh has a blackberry which is a work one so downloads emails as well as being a phone. If he didn't have it on silent it would be going off all the time and would be immensely annoying.

belgo · 01/12/2008 12:30

My phone is always on silent. I'm not having an affair

belgo · 01/12/2008 12:31

I assume there are other things that are making you suspicious?

jammi · 01/12/2008 13:09

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jammi · 01/12/2008 13:10

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jammi · 01/12/2008 13:10

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bigTillyMint · 01/12/2008 13:16

Well at least he has it with him - my DH always "forgets" his

pingping · 01/12/2008 15:31

My phone is always on vibrate or silent because its easier to ignore calls that way Lost it on friday and the only thing I am annoyed about is not having an alarm clock wish mobiles had never be invented I had a peaceful weekend as only about 3 people have my house number so didn't have people over ringing me