ok from another angle, I hope you read the thread i linked to earlier to realise I know how it feels. but.
its reallly hard for a school to send a child or suggest an sn unit no matter what their needs are. as a result I find it hard to know what ds1 gets up to in school and have th full info I need to make decisions. and even if i were certain ds1 needed a unit (and I am not) i've only just managed to get my more severe sn ds3 into one (well pending three billion forms )
the thing is the only thing you can do s put yourself in the other parents shoes. no question they are handling things very poorly, but what do they do? like you they want the best for their child.
I try very hard tro see things from the side of ds1's 'victims' (in brackets as he doesnt understand his actions really). i try hard to respond tp them in a way I would wish to be treated in that situation myself, but without harmong ds1 or making him think I am not 100% there for him.
its hard and I mess up at times but its the only way when we have demanding children. sadly.
now, how to approach it now?
write a etter / email to the school senco stating that in light of the convo with the head dated XXXXXX, arrangements need to be made which allow your lo to cobtiue his schooling in the same environment whilst maintaining a desirable standard of saftey and academic environment for his peer group.
copy it to the lea, parents etc
if he has a statement use it as ammo for n emergency revirew as clearly he needs more help; if not use it as a basis for getting one.
do make sure you copy lea in at every stage; they are your police iykwim.
If youre a troll oh well, i am just doing my best but i hope not as re-reading my arlier thread made me cry.