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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want an August baby?

360 replies

DodgyApostrophe · 19/11/2008 20:49

I'm not ttc this month.

I don't want a baby in August as I feel they are definitely at a disadvantage throughout school.

I do want a baby, desperately. Have been ttc for 2 years and have had 2 mc since ds1.

Is it really that bad to be born in August?

OP posts:
firstontheway · 20/11/2008 09:08

Oh... one thing.. in primary school everyone got called up on their birthday or the Monday after and got to bash around some drums/ triangles/ shakers on the stage during assembly while everyone sang happy birthday to them. I never got that, which sucked

jenkel · 20/11/2008 09:19

My dd was born at the beginning of August, I never really thought of a good or bad time to have a birthday to be honest.

August does have some perks, you can generally have parties in the garden, saves on expense of hiring a hall or lots of mess in your house. Also, when they are a bit older you can easily be a bit more selective about who comes to the party instead of inviting the whole class.

However, I do think there can be a bit of a disadvantage in the early years of school, I certainly found that she struggled more in Reception and Class 1 than others, but she is now in Class 2 and it all seems to be fitting into place, I was assured by the teachers that generally they find that by class 2 they find there true level and this does seem to be the case, saying that though, the teachers appeared to understand that she was an August birthday and there was never any pressure put on her, in fact lots of extra help.

You can hold them back a year, but all that means is that they miss reception and goes straight into class 1, which I personally think is worse, Reception is very important.

So I probably wouldnt avoid giving birth in August again.

coopsyblue · 20/11/2008 09:21

my DS is a July baby, one of the youngest in his school year but he was more than ready to go to school and is doing well academically and emotionaly. It depends on the child and the school, I know we are lucky he goes to a small village school this may have helped him

LunarSea · 20/11/2008 09:21

A friend of mine works with young offenders - and he does reckon that a disproportionate number of them have August and July birthdays. So I'm not sure that on average the disadvantage of being one of the younger ones at school does necessarily disappear over time.

Mind you a very early September birthday isn't great anyway - you need to get your party invites out before the school holidays, and then half the people forget to come anyway. Only 11 out of 19 actually turned up to ds1's party this year Either that or you end up going back to school for the new term on your birthday. And on the practical side it costs a fortune in paying for nursery for an extra year before they go to school.

Overall, I'd say YANBU to prefer your child to be one of the older ones, rather than the younger ones at school, but YABU to not want a baby which just happened to be born in August.

traceybath · 20/11/2008 09:28

My DS1 is an august boy and has just started reception. He does seem a lot younger than some of his classmates but equally there are a lot of summer boys in his year.

Also he's a very confident child with a 'big personality' in the words of his teacher so think he'd have been a bit of a nightmare if he'd been a couple of weeks late.

Oh and DS2 came 3 weeks early on boxing day - i'm crap at giving my children advantageous birthdays obviously

I'm also an august baby and somehow doubt my mother worried about it too much.

Good teachers adjust their expectations and teaching styles for the differing ages in their classes in my experience.

DS2 also took nearly 2 years to conceive and i wouldn't have cared when he arrived.

Good luck with ttc.

PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 20/11/2008 09:30

do remember also op that a September baby can come early or an August one late

ds4 was due to be born at Easter (March 30th tbe) - no planning but handy as boys off school, childcare away plus I was desperate to be there for ds3's first day of school on April 7th.

You guessed it- born in the early hours of April 7th!

Best laid plans and all that

mm22bys · 20/11/2008 09:39

I bet those "young offenders" have a lot more in common than just their birth month - education (or lack thereof), family background, etc, etc, etc.

That is such a non-argument!

PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 20/11/2008 09:54

I dont think its a non argument, its intriguing and would be worth lots of research but is ony going to be one of many factors involved.

There's downsides to all the bos birthdays I expect- think ds4 in April is quite nice, but ds1- December, to close to Christmas, tiny baby in the cold, trying to establish bf in a house of guests, hard to book party venues, no opportunity to buy summer toys if you dont plan very well (we only buy tpys Chrsitmas / birthdays), being a millenium baby meant his postnatal care really awful; ds2 january just when everyone poor and not festive, even colder, heavily pg over Christmas and in snow-ds3 july so exacerbated delays, hard to get kids to come to parties, but lovely as we holiday each year and celebrate on te beach.

Simplysally · 20/11/2008 09:56

My next door neighbour had a baby 10 weeks after my dd was born but as a September baby going into a one-form entry school, he didn't start school until he was virtually 5 - my DD had started Reception in the previous January and is a school year ahead of him. He is a big child for his age but he still had to cool his heels in nursery (pre-school) for 2 years whilst children only days older than him went into the main school. There's pros and cons.

mummyloveslucy · 20/11/2008 09:58

Why is Feb the best month ? My dd is the beggining of March.

Simplysally · 20/11/2008 09:58

Btw my dd was born exactly half-way through the year so she gets presents every six months and she's well away from any other family birthdays - 75% of our birthdays fall from late Feb to mid-April so it makes it an expensive Spring.

gagamama · 20/11/2008 10:46

From a non-educational point of view, an August baby will never have to go to school on their birthday like Sept to July babies, they won't ever get joint birthday/Christmas pressies like Dec/Jan babies, they won't have to revise or sit exams on their birthdays like May/June babies. Plus they're get an extra year ahead of September babies when it comes to leaving school or Uni - I was so impressed by my August-born Uni friend graduating and getting a job while she was still 20!

There are pros and cons to all months!

greenhill · 20/11/2008 11:04

I was born in August, went to school aged 4 years and 2 weeks and was always top of my class. I was Head Girl of my primary school, then got my "o" levels results before I was 16 and my "a" levels results before 18 and my degree before I was 21. I never felt disadvantaged. If your family is bright, your children will be bright, whatever month they are born in. As long as you are supportive there is not much need to worry about trivia.

2shoes · 20/11/2008 11:07

what a sill op
"I don't want a baby in August as I feel they are definitely at a disadvantage throughout school"

we ll dd was born in april, and a cock up at the birth meant she is disabled and will all ways be "disadvantage throughout school"

if that is the only problem your child might have think your self lucky

FlirtyThirty · 20/11/2008 12:52

I was a mid-August baby and love having a Summer birthday!

Academically it made not a blind bit of difference...in fact on the contrary, as 9yrs I was moved up aa year in school. I have 10 A grade GCSES, 4 A grade A levels and a degree. I think to be honest...there are a hundred other factors likely to play a far greater part in your child's academic ability and success.

PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 20/11/2008 13:20

yeah but 2shoes

youre right of course but what if a child with sn was a summer baby too? dont you remember all the battles we had over schools- and now they realise ds3 isnt just a summer baby with a sp eech issue he's finally got a place in special ed- sd a whole new transition to make

I do think planning conception is a bit ott but limiting the difficulties they might have is not a bad thing to consider, partly because of the things you cant plan for like CP and asd and all the rest

singersgirl · 20/11/2008 13:28

I don't think you're unreasonable to think about it, but I would think it unreasonable to alter your behaviour because of it. I say this as the mother of two August-born boys. Yes, statistically, August-born children, particularly boys, are at a disadvantage in the English education system. On an individual level, they might not be disadvantaged at all. It's impossible to tell before your child is born.

LiegeAndLief · 20/11/2008 13:36

My ds was due in September - not on purpose but I was really happy because I thought he would be at an advantage at school. He was born 6 weeks early on August 9th. Planning doesn't always work!

georgimama · 20/11/2008 13:45

Move to Scotland. Or Australia. Won't be a problem then.

Or accept that this is one of those things in life which you cannot control.

Nephew was due 21st July. Birthday - 5th August.

Friend's baby due in September - birthday - 20th June.

Getting the idea?

wannaBe · 20/11/2008 13:50

I think that when we decide to have children we become very complacent. We spend so much time trying not to get pregnant, that when we decide to finally start trying we think that it will happen as and when we plan.

I know that when I started ttc ds I came off the pill, and although I said to myself and dh that it could take up to a year to fall pg, in my heart of hearts I never actually believed that that would happen (it took 13 months, and I stopped contraception 3.5 years ago to ttc for baby no 2 and never fell pregnant). But when I started ttc for ds, I absolutely did not want a christmas baby. My mum was born on Christmas day, and she hated it, and tbh I didn't want that for my baby, because I do think that children who are born so close to Christmas miss out. So in the march I stopped ttc so that I wouldn't have a christmas baby.

But as time went by I stopped caring about that really, because every month I kept trying was another month it didn't happen for me.

I have to say that if you've been ttc for two years I'm surprised that you want to put it off any more. Maybe this is about more than just not wanting an August baby? have you had enough and need a break?

sammybeth · 20/11/2008 13:51

I do agree with you as my ds is july 31st so he will only just be 4 when he starts school and im worrying already(hes only 2 now)
that hes going to find it tough as he will probably be one of the youngest in his class.

But to be honest i didnt even think about it when i was ttc.

belgo · 20/11/2008 13:52

My birthday is end august. I was always youngest of my year. I was never at a disadvantage. It just meant I did my GCSEs at age 15, A-levels at age 17 and graduated university at age 20. Seemed to be an advantage in fact.

jlh69 · 20/11/2008 13:55

I'm an October baby but started school early (could do that then I think) so was always the youngest by miles. Never did me any harm-always the top of the class . Youngest at senior school too and was aways somewhere in the middle.
DD also born a month early. Was due end of Aug but appeared in July so you just can't plan these things. After TTC for 18 months her birthday was the last thing on my mind. All my NCT group had babies in August and I can safely say none of us have given it a thought- just glad to have our little ones.

jlh69 · 20/11/2008 13:56

Added bonus is that lots of people in my year at school are turning 40 now- makes me feel very young as I have until next October.

belgo · 20/11/2008 13:58

yes jlh it makes me feel young as well

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