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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want an August baby?

360 replies

DodgyApostrophe · 19/11/2008 20:49

I'm not ttc this month.

I don't want a baby in August as I feel they are definitely at a disadvantage throughout school.

I do want a baby, desperately. Have been ttc for 2 years and have had 2 mc since ds1.

Is it really that bad to be born in August?

OP posts:
Theas18 · 23/08/2011 22:51

Depends so much on the individual child. Dd1 is a late summer born. She took part in some research when she started school. Conclusions were that the kids who do struggle are those who were due in sept but born July/ aug with the double whammy of being prem too.

Dd1 never struggled ever academically or socially. By the end of infants she was absolutely top stream and top grades. She's just got a levels at A A A and A* in EPQ.... The only downside has been that she had to wait till results day to legally go clubbing lol!!

If I were having ivf then knowing that mean a riskier pregnancy even with a single baby let alone multiples, yes I'd delay a month but otherwise let nature Raleigh it's course - good luck!

ivykaty44 · 23/08/2011 22:53

I love the sun shining on my birthday and I had an August birthday baby myself Grin I never knew it was an issue for some until I read about it on mn Smile

notlettingthefearshow · 23/08/2011 22:55

I don't think it makes a difference. I don't know anyone who feels this is a disadvantage.

If we looked at all the statistics, we'd be too anxious to ever conceive - e.g parental age, sibling order ...

It never occurred to me to think about the time of year to conceive - but now I am due on Xmas day, maybe I should have done! Lots of disadvantages to that, but honestly I am just happy to be pregnant and glad I didn't have to wait another month!

LindyHemming · 23/08/2011 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunnydelight · 23/08/2011 22:59

YANBU, DS1 was born 1st August and struggled through school until we moved to Oz where the cut off date is 31st July. He went back a year and has thrived since. It's not an issue for all kids though, no matter what the system someone has to be youngest, my gripe with the UK system is it's total inflexibility!

NorfolkBroad · 23/08/2011 23:01

YANBU, I would be the same!

LindyHemming · 23/08/2011 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunnydelight · 23/08/2011 23:09

Oops, sorry Euphemia! Is the Scottish system more flexible then with regards to holding back if parents want to?

LindyHemming · 23/08/2011 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

latenightmum · 23/08/2011 23:12

given your history of trying yes.

I have 2 August girls. Took 18 months for the first. So I am biased. The second was due late Sept.

Focus on how to get pg, getting a nice balance life to offer them not which month they are born in!

A third of the class birthdays were in Sept last year because everyone took your approach.

petisa · 23/08/2011 23:25

Wow as a result of this thread I have just found out that in Northern Ireland the cut-off date is 1 July not 1 Sep, so my August baby will be one of the eldest in her class, not one of the youngest.

twinklytroll · 23/08/2011 23:43

I was reading this as someone TTC thinking but you won't have a baby in August and I even started to doubt myself. Grin

sparkleshine · 24/08/2011 00:06

My SIL was born at 11.58pm on 31st August. When it was time for her to start school. her parents were given an option of starting late or early. They chose early....and if they hadn't, she wouldn't have been in the same class as my brother and become friends and they might not have been together now. So for us it's good :)

When we were TTC, we said we didn't want a Dec baby...too close to Christmas and already had 3 family birthdays in Dec as well. After well over a year TTC, we didn't care...we just wanted a baby. He came on the 6th.
But, he gets spoiled throughout the year now, more than he probably would have if his birthday has been mid-year.

sparkleshine · 24/08/2011 00:09

Oh and my SIL did very well in education, despite being the youngest pupil in the whole school. :)

YoungishBag · 24/08/2011 00:15

Bollocks. I'm an august baby. Started school aged 2.5, skipped a year in scotland, iq 152, went to uni a month after turning 17.

Have a masters degree and a professional job.

Never let anything hold you back from ttc, not one month as I've had 4 miscarriages and lots of fertility probs and given up
At 39.

veryconfusedatthemoment · 24/08/2011 00:32

It is DS 6th birthday today - he will be going into Yr 2 in Sept. He is bright but is massively behind, yet in the English system there is no flexibility to delay back a year. The knock on impact to his confidence is the biggest factor IMO. It makes me really mad. Every child matters - yeah right. Really do not have an August baby if you can avoid it at all costs. (He was IVF and came 10 days early!)

ON average late summer born children don't do as well and the impact of birth in the academic year is a major contributing factor. If anyone would like to see the forest of evidence supporting this please do pop round for a Brew but you will probably need one of these Wine!

differentnameforthis · 24/08/2011 02:06

Meh! A baby is a baby! My eldest is an August baby & she does fine!

differentnameforthis · 24/08/2011 02:08

And actually, my August baby was supposed to be a September baby. She came 4 weeks early due to PE. So there is no guarantee the not TTCing this month will leave you August baby free!

libelulle · 24/08/2011 03:04

Ditto here - October baby came in june! There are no guarantees in this game.

nagynolonger · 24/08/2011 04:03

I read almost all of this and didn't notice how old it was.

Lots of summer borns will have no problems. There are plenty examples above.
I have 6 DC including 3 summer born boys and I do think they struggled at school because they were the youngest in the year. My 3 are dyslexic which of course didn't help. Our schools used to go back before the end of August so one of mine started secondary on his 11th birthday. I did try to get him held back a year but even though primary school were willing to keep him secondary school said he had to move up.
It's also silly things which make a difference when they are little. Mine were all involved in the scout movement which like school moves DC up by age. So they were the last to go up to cubs and scouts and missed out on the first camps and other activities their older class mates were able to take part in. They never got to be a seconder or a sixer because they always chose the older boys. Later they were the last to get Saturday jobs, take driving lessons etc. I know this may be unimportant in the long run but at the time it is a big deal.

Mine were all taller than average and good at sport which boosted their confidence. I think any disadvantage in being summer born is more noticable in boys than girls.

The month of birth never crossed my mind when we were ttc but if I was doing it all again I think I would aim for autumn/winter/spring babies.

SouthernFriedTofu · 24/08/2011 04:05

YANBU no one should be 9 months pregnant in august!

MmeBucket · 24/08/2011 04:20

Having 2 August borns, I'm not fond of this thread. I guess it helps a bit that I'm in the US, and had the option of either sending them or starting them later in school.

ivykaty44 · 24/08/2011 20:50

you can wait to send the child to school the following year and let them start in year 1 rather than reception - children do not need to start school/education until they are 5 years old.

libelulle · 25/08/2011 09:29

but ivy then they just miss a year of school, and their peer group has a whole year to get to know each other and form friendships without your dc. A sane solution would be to let them join reception a year later if their parents don't deem them to be ready at 4. Most countries have this system and don't seem to collapse into chaos.

ivykaty44 · 25/08/2011 16:02

But at this age your peer groups accepts new comers rather quickly, just the same if you moved house etc and your dc had to move school - they would settle fairly quickly. The child can then have this time at home or mixture of nursery and home for another year until they are ready for school.

I don't see that missing a school year will put them behind.

I don't know other countries that have a system of letting children start reception a year later, a lot of countries in europe don't even start school till age 7 and they seem to be further ahead by secondary