To object to guests bearing meat

[stinkymonkey]

OK, so this is the situation: I have been vegetarian for about 25 years. DC both veggie, DP is not, but I do most of the cooking so effectively he eats veggie at home. Meat/fish never usually cooked in our house. Very occasionally I have cooked meaty sausages for a guest, but only about 3 times in the last 10 yrs.

Family live far away, so visits usually involve staying for about 4/5 days. Very often, they will bring meat, so I will open up my nice meatfree fridge to see some skanky ham poking out. The worst time was when MIL was on some kind of salmon-heavy diet, and made the whole house stink like cat food. My mum has just been here and has obviously been cooking meat because I could smell it when I turned on the oven.

What is wrong with people that they can't go without meat for a few days? Why does nobody think that, as a veggie household, we might object to meat being cooked here? Does this happen to any other veggies?

Family guests usually babysit, so I am trying to be forgiving, but this is really starting to piss me off.

Combustiblelemon, Who said anything about only vegetarians eat rice?

The point I'm making is that it is a fallacy to think that everyone ingesting a non-meat diet would be better for the environment. That is not the case on many levels. Read the scientific journals to inform yourself if you can be bothered.

Dominion - if thr OP is precious, you are staggeringly uninformed and a rubbish cook..

It seems a bit unfair on your DP that he isn't able to eat meat or fish at home if he wants to. If you were both veggie I think it would be unreasonable for visitors to bring meat/fish into the house.

When I was a teenager we used to go on holiday with a vegetarian family. We used to have to eat only vegetarian food for the week and I remember really not wanting to. As a teenager I did not particularly like veggie food. Now I can see the health benefits so it would not be such a problem. I would not have wanted to force that family to eat meat..however, I don't think they should have forced us to eat lentils all week either! Anyway sorry to have sidetracked from the op!

my dh and 2 of my dc eat meat.myself and youngest dc are veggie.i would prefer no meat in the house but as a half veggie/half meaty household i have no right to say no meat.

oh and if your DH is not veggie then his family probably don;t grasp that you are a " veggie household"

Limiting the amount of meat consumed would be of great benefit both in terms of human health and the environmental impact. But apparently lots of people can't go four days without it!

And as I pointed out several pages back, I do cook for guests (and not with quorn), so there is no need for them to make anything themselves. And we do eat out/have takeaways at least once, so there are meat-intake opportunities aplenty.

But I think I will retire from this thread now, as it is getting to the point where people say "Not read the whole thread but..." then start ranting.

bohemianbint, I beg to differ. I am neither uniformed nor a crap cook just because I disagree with the op.

I would not bring bacon to the house of a muslim friend. Neither would I expect him to participate in a prayer before a meal at MY house. I would cook lamb and chicken dishes for my Hindu friends. But I would NOT rant at some food I dont eat being placed in my fridge for people of that custom to cook it at their leisure. I have had plenty of friends from far off places bringing food THEY like, and I would not for ONE minute take objection to it being in my fridge.

It would be a lack of respect for their custom, non?

so why are they cooking whilst you are out? are they hungry lol?

Dominion - ok, not a rubbish cook. But an uninventive one if you can't cook one single veggie meal. (Beans on toast is vegan!)

And you having foreign food in your fridge is not the same as me having meat in mine, I presume, unless you are in some way passionately averse to all things from far away?

To put it in perspective, I see no difference between having pork sausages in my fridge, or having (as someone mentioned earlier) a bag of severed fingers. I find it that repugnant.

I'd eat what I was given if visiting, but would expect the host to have taken my needs into account too.

We seem to have established that vegetarians can speak with contempt for omnivores, but not vice versa.
That vegetarians have priority in their own house because it's their house and also priority if visiting others.

I think you have to take a step back and wonder why you'd be visiting them in the first place.

None of which applies to sensible vegetarians who just decided that eating meat was not for them without getting all obsessive and controlling about it.

Personally I haven't eaten any meat for weeks, perhaps months, so this is almost a vegetarian friendly zone. I have milk and some leather coats/furniture (but then so do I expect most of the vegetarians)

Do those who speak of meat as corpses turn away guests wearing leather shoes?

lol bohemianbint, I can be pretty unimaginative! I guess salads, pasta salads, vegetable risotto, stuffed mushrooms, vegetable pasta bakes are veggie.... So if I do wreck my brains and think I am sure I can come up with something vegetarian. And if I can, I am sure ops family could, if they gave it second thought.

I see your point but I think that being hospitable means compromising, I'm afraid

Why not buy a small, table-top fridge/cooler that they can keep their meat in in their room?

Define "sensible" vegetarians; you mean ones who will touch/cook meat?

Where have vegetarians spoken with contempt about meat eaters on this thread?

I think needs are being confused with wants here - seriously, how many people need to eat meat? We're just priviledged enough to live in a society where it's available readily and cheaply. Bar one person on this thread who has said they have very specific dietary needs, who needs to eat meat?

Would you expect a coeliac to eat bread if it would make them ill, in the interests of being polite?

Or give them a coolbox for their meat, which will probably harbour some sort of salmonella or e-coli

that'll learn em

ha - see Dominion, you were doing yourself down, that all sounds like good stuff!

I think if they babysitting then you should provide them with a meal they will enjoy.

bohemianbint,

I define "sensible" vegetarians as those who decide not to eat meat, but realise that the world doesn't revolve around them. Fortunately this is most vegetarians, but you tend to get the evangelicals posting so it skews things.

For 'contempt about meat eaters' read the thread and try reversing statements in your head to see if it would sound ok applied to the other side.

in reality there are two issues...

The first is whether it's ok for meat eaters to bring meat into a vegy house, and tbh this baffles me somewhat because if I visit someone then I would expect them to cook for me and bringing my own food would never even occur to me. Similarly if people visit my house then I cook for them and I wouldn't expect them to bring their own food (mil always brings me cheese though as she lives in Devon near a lovely cheese shop, but that is for all of us).

The second issue really is whether it's acceptable to demand that others conform to your lifestyle, and tbh I don't think it is. If a vegetarian came to stay with me then obviously I wouldn't serve him up a plate of roast chicken and roast potatoes cooked in goose fat. But equally it would be unreasonable of a vegetarian to expect me to go without meat for 5 days just to fit in with their lifestyle. Whether I can live without meat is irelevant, if I don't want to live without meat, then I should be able to choose not to do so. And if my vegetarian hoast feels unable to cater for my requirements, then I should be able to reserve the right to either bring meat into the house, or choose to eat out.

It's no less rude of a vegetarian to essentially demand I cook him a special diet because he doesn't want to eat meat than it is for me to eat out if I don't want to eat vegy.

'I did have one thought though. How would those of you who won't have meat in the house cope if your dcs decided as teenagers that they wanted to eat meat?'

My eldest did but she ate meat outside the house. It was her rebellion. Now she is 16 and living with in-laws who are meat-eaters she has gone strict vegan (kinda saw it coming...)

Thinking about guests....I'd do the cookig. I wouldn't expect guests to self cater or bring their own food anyhow. That would be weird. So I've always fed my in-laws. But when we've been there we've actually had to go out to a chip shop to eat cos they always did a meat dish, knowing none of us, kids included could eat it.
Stopped visiting them after a few Xmas's like that!
Very faddy diets I'd expect the person to bring food - dd is going on the ketogenic diet shortly which is 99% fat, 1% protein and no carbs. Some vegetables are allowed. I wouldn't expect someone to manage to cook a keto meal (everything has to be weighed and measured too) to would take all her meals with me. If she breaks the diet, she comes out of ketosis and has seizures.
But then we would never go stay with anyone cos we need ramps and hoists etc etc. DD keeps us at home.
But if poeple came here (so very rare) they'd have to eat what I cooked and understand me and dh can't eat out cos of dd.

sppokette- of course rice and its cultivation produces methane. It is also the largest staple food in the world. If you had to produce meat in similar quantities for a similar number of people, the environmental damage would be far greater.

IT sounds to me like these are your inlaws and you don't specially want them to feel happy, relaxed and welcome in your house. I expect it is a right pain for them to feel they will starve unless they bring their own food, and they probably feel quite awkward about it all.

5 days is a long time to be forced to go on an unusual diet that you don't like much and that gives you wind .

I have many vegetarian and vegan friends and relatives and none of them are inhospitable to guests in this way.

Seriously will you all die if you can't have meat for 4 days? Wind??? Do you think vegi food is all lentils or nutroasts?

The OP actually mentioned her mother making her oven stink so it's a meat issue not an IL issue.

Seriously, OP will die if meat is eaten on her plates for once? Plates that can then be washed???