To object to guests bearing meat

[stinkymonkey]

OK, so this is the situation: I have been vegetarian for about 25 years. DC both veggie, DP is not, but I do most of the cooking so effectively he eats veggie at home. Meat/fish never usually cooked in our house. Very occasionally I have cooked meaty sausages for a guest, but only about 3 times in the last 10 yrs.

Family live far away, so visits usually involve staying for about 4/5 days. Very often, they will bring meat, so I will open up my nice meatfree fridge to see some skanky ham poking out. The worst time was when MIL was on some kind of salmon-heavy diet, and made the whole house stink like cat food. My mum has just been here and has obviously been cooking meat because I could smell it when I turned on the oven.

What is wrong with people that they can't go without meat for a few days? Why does nobody think that, as a veggie household, we might object to meat being cooked here? Does this happen to any other veggies?

Family guests usually babysit, so I am trying to be forgiving, but this is really starting to piss me off.

Sure it's perfectly possible to go without meat for 4 or 5 days, I just think it is rather inhospitable (and not in the spirit of having house guests) to expect them to

no I really couldn't. I could perhaps go without red meat and live on fish. In fact i think I could live quite happily on fish for 4/5 days. But there is no way on this earth I could go without either meat or fish for 5 days.

stepfordknife - so do you think a Jewish house should let their gets bring bacon and pork sausages?

...tbh I am not sure - I'd have to give that some more thought. Not going to give an off the cuff response

that's not the same at all. Jewish people, (and muslims too) don't eat pork for religious reasons. and no-one needs to have pork - there are lots of other meat products that can be eaten instead.

But to go without any kind of meat or fish for 5 days would be impossible for lots of people.

I wouldn't mind if a house guest brought some kosher meat with them ...or some foie gras...or veal (none of which are eaten by me). I am not the evangelical type

just to add, I wouldn't personally take meat into a vegetarian's house (although as the dh isn't vegetarian it isn't really a vegy house), I would just not go and stay there and would tell them why.

I don't understand - how would they know it bothers you unless you tell them?

Plenty of vegetarians don't mind meat being brought into their house. They just choose not to buy it / eat it themselves. Your relatives are probably totally unaware that it's bothers you so much.
I was vegetarian for many years and I didn't mind other people eating meat in my house (including my DH), so it doesn't automatically follow that ALL vegetarians don't like it.

But what is 'religion'. (bit deep for tonight methinks!)

You could class vegetarianism as a religion.

Why should someone impose their personal principles on others - perhaps people should only have families and friends who are clones of themselves..(hang on, that's called a commune isn't it? )

I'd be willing to go without for 4-5 days, but I'd want convincing there was some point to it. Like it was really going to make the other people sick if they saw me eating it.

stinkymonkey, which kind of veggie are you? because it makes a difference to whether it's unreasonable or not. Presumably you're not a 'don't really care for the taste' veggie or you wouldn't care what they ate.

So are you a 'think it is evil to kill animals' veggie or perhaps you feel eating meat is disgusting for some other reason and do they know which kind you are.

no vegetarianism is a lifestyle choice.

Although some of them are evangelical enough about it to make it a religion I guess.

wannaBe - you say that nobody needs to have pork, but equally nobady needs to have meat.

I've found this quite interesting to read.

BTW - I am a meat eater (work in a Kosher house) and eat vegetarian at work. Hasn't happened to me but I think if I was going to vegetarian house for a stay and wanted to take some meat for me to eat I would check with the host first. As a few people have said there are a lot of vegetarian people that wouldn't mind this.

How on earth can you classify "vegetarianism" as a religion?

Besides, I never saw a Muslim refusing to eat from a plate that may have at some point held pork. You may have noticed that Muslims living in UK don't bring their own cutlery and plates to restaurants. Seriously, that is just insane.

I need to eat meat, or fish. There is absolutely no way I could live without it for 5 days.

But are they imposing their personal principles on others? I would say they are just asking people to respect their personal principles.

I don't know much about Muslims - but a lot of strict Jewish people will only eat out in Kosher restaurants.

wannaBe I'd sure as hell miss it, but nobody would die without it.

but surely it's just really rude to go and stay with someone and then insist on your own food. It's like saying that yours is not good enough. I would never dream of taking meat to a vegetarian household. I wouldn't dream of taking meat anywhere tbh. I think the Op's family are trying to prove some ridiculous point like she's a teenager.... can't go without meat for 4 or 5 days...I think you'll find they did when they were young.

That must be some ultra orthodox Jews. All Jewish people I have ever known eat at a variety of places, even though they are quite religious, do their special prayers for special days, visit the synagogue every Saturday, etc.

it's not about dying without it. It's about meat being a part of your diet and then being faced with the prospect of having to go without.
So if you go by that principle would it be ok for me to serve up meat only dishes - i.e. pasta's/risotto's etc with meat bases to vegetarian guests and tell them that we don't eat vegetables (for whatever reason)?

But how many meat eaters eat only meat - and no potatoes/veg/pasta/bread etc

That would be fine wannabe, as long as you informed your vege guests first so they can decided if they want to visit.

Doesn't matter how many though does it. The question is still interesting and relevent. What would be right and fair in that case?

of course they do. but the veg/pasta/bread is a part of the diet, not the main part..

As I said above, I wouldn't take meat into a vegy house. In fact it wouldn't even occur to me to take my own food to someone's house.

But if the rule is that I must respect the vegy's beliefs and eat the vegy food in their house, then the same should apply when they come to mine, and I should feel free to serve up meat dishes and they should respect that.

no it wouldn't because a vegetarian diet is suitable for everyone. It's not like you are being offered food you can't/won't eat, it may not be usual or to your taste but then that's always a possibility eating outside your own home. A vege being offered only meat based food means they cannot/won't eat it.