I'm not fond of performing oral sex on my husband, yet he demands it.

[KrissyKat]

My husband whines and complains that he doesn't get nearly enough blow jobs in his life and may start to look elsewhere for them. Mind you, he has a tremendous penis and I am extremely petite. (100 pounds dripping wet) It is completely unenjoyable for me and he conks out straight afterward, with perhaps a cursory grunt and "thanks, doll." What is my incentive to perform this ritual? We've been married 13 years and he is not exactly Mr. Vavavavoom in bed, yet he expects all manner of carnal delights for himself. Has anyone else had this experience? Do your husbands think the porn world is real life and women are breathlessly waiting to please them in any manner possible?

Heaven forbid we just go to sleep or cuddle and I not attend to his stiff little friend. Criminey! I'm not 25 anymore. And he is not exactly captain America, all rippling muscles and thick bronze hair. I sometimes wish I had a stand-in. He's always threatening to leave and I sometimes think, well, just go then and find a young lady who ices her cupcakes and bread with semen. UGH!

Change name on 'my registration' . Family know my name for general MNing but have several aliases for more personal threads would use one if I was going to get more involved in this thread

Even more interesting

Dogs on an oral sex thread ....STOP!!! ROFL.

Good Gravy Train. Good boy.

Sitttttt!

Mmmmmm but only 'good boys' get doggy treats .

Aahh - thanks HHH!

[for info - not for offer of doggy treats!!!]

Lol, I knew I should have changed my name before I even ventured on this thread.

[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorena_Bobbitt SHOW HIM THIS] SACRY BUT ITS KINDA THE SAME THING!

I'm keeping this. I feel kinda pervy in it

Rofl at that hound!!!

I'm just impressed you said it though twinset... without splurting crunchie nut debris over your dh and dd!!

going to have a look to see if kk has ventured any other threads evil wabbit

PMSL! @ this thread funny stuff American Troll

Damn, this thread is funny. Twinset, may I just say how appropriate your name is! I will now never be able to see your name on a post without thinking "Ah! That's Twinsetandpearlnecklace"

Tell him to fuck off.

pmsl at this thread. Please keep it going.
Twinset my dh also says sucky sucky ten doller.

I think KrissyKat is probably in his Bentley right now (it was Bentley, wasn't it?).

rindercella grin

you want to keep this thread going huh? hmmmm...okay here's the rub. Every time your hubby, lover, whatever wants sex (any kind) then they have to pay you a dollar or equivalent. He also has to say something cute (no prodding) like,"sucky sucky long time"...or it doesn't count.
On your honor at the end of the week we compare nesteggs.
Who's game????

no1putsbabyinthecorner, do you reply "me 5 muns prgnan u no notice"

?!

lol the strange thing is he never really wants it when I say ok then.

Well I wont have a nest egg, My ds is 10 weeks and we have done it once since he was conceived. almost a year.

I asked him during pregnancy to just turn me the other way so he didnt jhave to look.
He said sorry love there is not enough alcohol in the world.

haha! so romantic.

lol no1putsbabyinthecorner. I'd be having to take out a loan. Mine is in a stink because he stays up all night working and then comes to bed at 3am and I'm "not in the mood". I have to be up at 6am to get the kids off to school. So this morning (after I got the kids off) I made the same strategic attack and he got PO'd.
No romance, no sleep, and no "sucky sucky long time" in this house.

I KNEW you lot would scare her off.
Americans call people a tool like we would call someone a wanker, or suchlike.
Poor woman.
Come back KK and put on a thicker skin, mumsnet is fab, you just kind of have to get used to it's ways.
If you had come back straight away and it had been made clear you were not a hairy trucker and your problem was serious to you then you would have gotten a bit more proper support, the thing with threads that are left to their own devices is that it can set off in jokes between regular mumsnetters who then have a bit of a chat on your thread.

Don't take it too seriously, and we will try to give you a break next time.

heh, BandofMothers...I gave normal advice. Well, normal as far as I am concerned. You probably won't know if she does come back as she may change her name.
If she is upstate NY then she clearly could use that kind of language. Not everyone has to swear to get their point across. She sounds young too. Very young.
I would akin MN to a bunch of hens in a chicken yard. There is a definite pecking order here IYKWIM.

I'm sure that someone else wil have said it but haven't read the thread..

but the man does have ude of his hands deos he not? If he wants a quick servive tell him to get on tte job, otherwise he needs to set a courting as an incentive for mutual pleasure.

Tell him there's no such thing as wifely duties these days!