I'm not fond of performing oral sex on my husband, yet he demands it.

[KrissyKat]

My husband whines and complains that he doesn't get nearly enough blow jobs in his life and may start to look elsewhere for them. Mind you, he has a tremendous penis and I am extremely petite. (100 pounds dripping wet) It is completely unenjoyable for me and he conks out straight afterward, with perhaps a cursory grunt and "thanks, doll." What is my incentive to perform this ritual? We've been married 13 years and he is not exactly Mr. Vavavavoom in bed, yet he expects all manner of carnal delights for himself. Has anyone else had this experience? Do your husbands think the porn world is real life and women are breathlessly waiting to please them in any manner possible?

Heaven forbid we just go to sleep or cuddle and I not attend to his stiff little friend. Criminey! I'm not 25 anymore. And he is not exactly captain America, all rippling muscles and thick bronze hair. I sometimes wish I had a stand-in. He's always threatening to leave and I sometimes think, well, just go then and find a young lady who ices her cupcakes and bread with semen. UGH!

[exasperatedmummy]

I once gave my DP a BJ in return for a Big Mac

[ilovemydog]

when does half term start?

[frazzledoldbag34]

exasperatedmummy - classy!

[Eunicewonderstuff]

EM did you get fries with that?

[nickytwoooohtimes]

Yes, rather a poor effort.
1/10.

NEXT!

[KrissyKitten]

Mummy...

It's time for your meds...

[frazzledoldbag34]

EM - or just a milkshake
Sorry, that's vile

[pingping]

PMSL! EM I remember that thread was one of the first threads I posted on LOL!

OP does your other half not satisfy you? You should sugguest doing a 69 least your get some fun out of it ;-)

If my Man said he was going to look elsewhere for a BJ I would tell him to hop off and find himself someone else

[criminey]

Gee Willikers! What the gosh darn is going on here?

[RustyDaviesBear]

Who was it who had the milkshake with - umm - additives when she was desperate to start labour.....

[CharleeInChains]

What in the name of uunderpants was that last post about KrissyKat?

(We really need a confused emotion!)

[nickytwoooohtimes]

Desperate?
Your not kidding!
Bleugh.

[CharleeInChains]

Gadzooks! This is turning into an odd thread.

(Maybe OP is Jackie Collins in disguise?)

[RustyDaviesBear]

That wasn't KrissyKat, it was KrissyKitten, Charlee
Presumably someone taking the piss her daughter.

[KrissyKitten]

yes the former

[pingping]

This thread is weird

[CharleeInChains]

Ohhhhhhh i get it [Charlee slaps head in Do'h fashoin!]

[IorekMandelson]

Hmm... I know that voice...mumsey yet saucy, and as American as apple pie...

OP - you are Governor Palin aren't you?

Really, I would have thought you had other things on your mind just now.

[CharleeInChains]

I can't read the 'thanks doll' without adopting an american gangster voice.

[exasperatedmummy]

My DP doesn't say anything after a BJ, because i am so good he can't speak!

[noonki]

Is that what mills and boon are like?

I rememebr sneakily reading one aged 12 and being very disappointed at the lack of action!

Maybe M&B will hire him/her and I will start reading them again

[foxytocin]

never read a m&b myself but imagine it would read like that if you cross it with Hustler magazine.