I'm not fond of performing oral sex on my husband, yet he demands it.

[KrissyKat]

My husband whines and complains that he doesn't get nearly enough blow jobs in his life and may start to look elsewhere for them. Mind you, he has a tremendous penis and I am extremely petite. (100 pounds dripping wet) It is completely unenjoyable for me and he conks out straight afterward, with perhaps a cursory grunt and "thanks, doll." What is my incentive to perform this ritual? We've been married 13 years and he is not exactly Mr. Vavavavoom in bed, yet he expects all manner of carnal delights for himself. Has anyone else had this experience? Do your husbands think the porn world is real life and women are breathlessly waiting to please them in any manner possible?

Heaven forbid we just go to sleep or cuddle and I not attend to his stiff little friend. Criminey! I'm not 25 anymore. And he is not exactly captain America, all rippling muscles and thick bronze hair. I sometimes wish I had a stand-in. He's always threatening to leave and I sometimes think, well, just go then and find a young lady who ices her cupcakes and bread with semen. UGH!

[ilovemyflipflops]

Shame you he can't reach it himself, fault in the male physiology i've always thought

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

0/10

pathetic attempt.

[BBBeeast]

you should stop whinging and think yourself lucky to share a bed with such a tremendous penis (and thank you so much for sharing on here.)

[Podrick]

Do you have any 100 pounds dripping wet friends you could ask round to help out

[shootfromthehip]

LOL at podrick. Share and share alike. Nice- covering the gamut of male fantasies.

[bythepowerofgreyskull]

assuming you are real, I would say that you are better off without him. let him go and find it elsewhere.

[VintageGardenia]

How much do you weigh when you have given yourself a good towelling? I think we should be told.

[potatofactory]

LOL VG!

[no1putsbabyinthecorner]

pmsl vg

[cocoleBOO]

Obviously you should see to his needs, that's what wife's do.
So stop complaining and suck it up.

[PuzzleRocks]

Assuming this face at all times in case he fancies a bit.

What are you complaining for OP? Don't you know that's all us little ladies are there for. He's your husband, do as you are bloody told!

Love your pornstar handle by the way.

[no1putsbabyinthecorner]

lol at face

[Flum]

Yeah I don't like hoovering or ironing either but I still do them. You are funny little thing aren't you not quite 101 pounds of fun though eh!

[VintageGardenia]

"All manner of carnal delights" sounds a bit Alan Partridge to me. OP are you in fact Steve Coogan?

[morningpaper]

lol

"criminey" is going to be my word of the day

[cocoleBOO]

The op.

[CorpseBrideOfJohnCusack]

I am PMSL at 'tremendous'

so funny. So middle class.

'criminey' finished me off altogether. wd

[CharleeInChains]

If she comes back, who wants to place bets that she will use the word Jinkys or crumbs or even a gollygosh.

[Charlee opens up books for bets]

[potatofactory]

£5 on 'jeepers'

[CorpseBrideOfJohnCusack]

lawks-a-mussy

or jumping jehosaphat

[bran]

I'm already regretting reading the OP, but I am force to ask how the petiteness of the woman could be a problem when giving a blow job? Surely it's the size of her mouth that matters not how much she weighs? Have I been doing understanding it wrongly all these years?

[PuzzleRocks]

@ Bran.

[CorpseBrideOfJohnCusack]

yep bran ytou have



(emoticon looks vaguely filthy now)

[Eunicewonderstuff]

Can you mix jizz and icing sugar? Really?