to think my friend shouldn't use formula just so she can have a drink and an unbroken nights sleeph

[typo]

My friend is mixed feeding, she gives a couple of bottles of formula in the day.

Her dd is 10 weeks and she told me tat tonight her dd is going to have formula in the night even though she is always b/f at night. She said she is going to have a few drinks then slee in the spare room whuile DH does this one night duty.

AIBU to think that this is selfish and that her dd shoud not be denied breast milk just for her own selfish reasons?

No we were in hospital less than 24 hours. She lost it in the first 6 days and was readmitted.

Thanks for your good wishes fabsmum

Nowt to do with you, Op.
You sound really sanctimonious. Some friend you are.

On the contrary I think she should. Excellent idea.

Don't you think mum's go on enough guilt trips all by themselves op? Give it a rest and let your mate get some too. You've obviously forgotten the 10 week too tired to move feeling.

FGS, let her get on with it!! Its probably her first night "Off" for 10 weeks.

Jeez, Typo, as if people supporting women to bf didn't have enough of a sodding mountain to climb, without stupid, judgemental, thoughtless idiots like you.

As has so eloquently been said already and in a variety of ways on this thread, mind your own beeswax.

You are totallly right, she sounds completely selfish. As you are the only person who can save her poor baby from the hideous poison of formula, I suggest you get round there, lock up her drinks cupboard and stand guard over her nipples.

No wonder she needs a drink with friends like you.

I personally think thats excellent use of fomula (particularly when you are mix feeding anyway - hardly introducing it for that purpose alone!) - to let someone else take the slack for a bit and give you a break.

None of your effing business op - YABVVU

Not just unreasonable but probably the most unreasonable thing I've ever heard!!

But I can't believe OP is really for real, so will try not to get wound up about it...

My God there must be someone we can call, maybe she should be frog marched into the street with a plackard that reads " I am a crap mum, I need sleep"

Er YABU!

As long as baby gets some breastmilk, it will get al the benefits, the fact that it also has formula is irrelevant. Unless you are trying to sustain a "virgin gut", which I don't really think you are worried about...

Some of us mix-feed to keep our marbles, for reasons you would know about if you were a better friend.

"as long as the baby gets some breastmilk it will get all the benefits". I have serious doubts about that statement. The hazards of formula milk do not go away just because breastmilk is given as well.

Lotster, that's not true, I'm afraid.

Breastmilk has a protective effect if given alongside formula, yes, that's true. But Elasticwoman's right, the risks of ff don't go away just because you're bfing.

Not sure why you're so disparaging about the virgin gut either?

Elasticwoman and hunkermunker

what are the risks or hazards for formula then? Or should I not ask?

I dunno. Sure breastmilk is the best thing to give your baby, but I kind of think that the mother's sanity is also pretty important. When I bf ds he was a hungry baby! He fed for ages and would still wake up 3 or 4 times a night for a feed at 6 months old. I never had a break.

My weight was dropping off whilst his weight was being gained and I became quite ill. The doctor actually advised me to think about ff at night and I must admit, I was so relieved! I'd been putting it off thinking how crap a mother I would be if I gave him formula now. But her logic was that if I became so ill I was hospitalised, he would most likely be put on formula anyway and he would be deprived of his mother.

So I made his last feed up with formula and for the first time I got a decent night's sleep! He still woke up once or twice, but there were nights he didn't wake at all! I got the rest I needed which meant I was more able to look after myself during the day.

And of course I could drink! Not that I stopped when I was bf, but a couple of drinks wore me out, whereas now I could have a few and a decent night's sleep!

So it's a tough one. Sometimes you have to decide between the baby's health or yours. But just remember that if you're ill, then the baby does suffer too.

i think it is none of your business, tbh. perhaps mum needs a rest and is lucky to have a partner who will give her a night off.

My god thank god my health visitor was sensible enough to ADVISE me to stop breastfeeding at 5 weeks because I was a mental and physical wreck.
Glad I didn't have any 'freinds' there to inform me I was being selfish!

She is actually "killing 2 birds with 1 stone" by taking the opportunity to have a good night's sleep AND a drink all in 1 night rather than 2.

YABVU.

Pamelat, risks of formula are more gastro problems, allergies, higher risk of heart diease later in life, double the risk of chest infections between birth and seven, double the risk of ear infections, making it five times more likely to suffer from urinary tract infections, and also will make the mother more at risk of osteoporosis, breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

These risks are based on full formula feeding though. If you mix feed then obviously you will get more good from the breastmilk and less risk from the formula. Exclusively breastfed you have none of the above risks.

FF also means all the risks of contamination, both of bottles and milk. Thousands of babies died recently in China because they drank contaminated milk. Then there is the risk of gut problems esp constipation. Formula milk produces more mucus in the baby as well as replacing human milk with all its antibodies against disease, so babies are more likely to suffer with coughs and congestion more often and for longer than exc bf babies.

I think that thousands were made poorly, not that thousands died. In fact, I thought only had one died . That in itself is tragic.

I breast fed and then partially fed, now full formula (DD 9 months). I just dont like formula to be made to be some evil substance, it simply isn't.

I drank and BF, that must make me even worse than you 'friend' but since you are a troll i don't know why i am even posting

pregnancy-pitstop.com/blog/tainted-formula-causes-three-deaths-so-far-sickens-thousands-of-babies-in -china

this is the link with chinese deaths. The formula was not a British brand and was not subject to rigourous quality control checks as we have in the UK. Our government would have intervened long before it had got to this point. The chinese government knew and did nothing because they didn't want bad press for China over the olympics

YABU, and possibly a bit jealous too. unbroken night's sleep... mmmhhhh bliss! (and i am bfing so have no vested interests!)